Regrets final? Part three

 So Many Regrets?  (Or more types and questions for reflection)

So we’re walking down the trail of tears better known  as the whiskey walkway for some and just plain the roadway or regrets for many.  the past two entries have provided  some notions of what the roots of regrets can be and some thoughts about specific kinds of regrets including  regrets about not building a set of foundational knowledge and skills and regrets about not being bold enough.  Now (using Daniel Pink’s framework) let’s highlight some other root types of regrets and introduce some more thoughts for reflection.  

“Moral” Regrets

This is fairly straightforward.  these are regrets like “I wish I wouldn’t have bullied that kid or when others did I wish I had stood up for them.   Or maybe  it’s a wish that one wouldn’t have told even that white lie or stolen that dime candy bar (that now costs a buck fifty.  In essence  these are the “I listened to the devil on my shoulder instead of the angel kind of thing.   We have all these because the list of perfect humans is noticeably short.  So upon becoming aware of these things it seems  that asking for forgiveness is in order and well just maybe forgiving  yourself might be in order as long as you plan to change  that crappy action and mean it.  

So sometimes  you can’t ask the wounded party for that ship has sailed... therefore  assume forgiveness.   What how can you assume that?   Well can you forgive someone even if they didn’t ask?  You can if you choose to and so you can assume forgiveness without a direct statement of it right/.  

“Lost Connection”.Regrets

This is...as the subtitle says... LostConnections—you know the friends/family  you don’t really connect with because the relationship was somehow left unattended and now you miss it or wish it still existed.  These are “relationships lost” regrets and social media has helped many people to “find” people again..... 

On the other hand  does social media now set up the expectation that we will be able to find anyone at most any time?   Also when we reconnect are we doing so believing the person we once lost is “the same” as they were?   

Well.... summing up these types or root causes of regrets we have foundational regrets that are emotions created because we believe we didn’t. Do something that creates the foundation for something we could do now.  We have “boldness” regrets that suggest we could have acted with less fear in situations and changed the current situation we find ourselves in.  Moral regrets are those  feelings that seem to haunt us because we acted in a less than honorable way and the guilt follows us today.  Finally  we regret losing personal connections  with “old” friends and family we might know better today if we had put energy into the relationships.   

Maybe it is helpful to name the sources of regrets so that we can ask ourselves and others the questions that will help reveal the lessons  and thus lady the wasted parts of the regret to rest.  Here are some further questions (read the two entries before as well) that may serve as avenues for revamping and revealing new paths.

First, and probably most important—

Do we constantly labor under the dubious assumption that events follow in a linear and uninterrupted cause and effect expressway?..  That is —is it really true that if we did a that each and every time b would happen just as predicted or expected.  By a show of hands who among us in 2017 predicted the COVID  experience?  In 1980 who predicted facebook, the iPhone etc.  Raise your hand if you thought  we would see the change from Vinyl  to cassette, to CD, to digital and yes back to some vinyl?  The point is.... some of the things that fill our lives today were not predictable let alone predicted by us and there is no reasonable expectation that we should have been able to do that.   Yet... we somehow continue to feed regrets thinking “if I had only done x....”.  

Can you change your present and your future with the way you act right now?  Yep...if you plant enough seeds in enough places....some of them are likely to become apple trees and some of them are likely to have apples, however  to assume which of those apples become cider, apple sauce, or wind up in Aunt Martha’s blue ribbon apple pie  during the 2049 Henry County Fair would be folly.  Yet we do this regrets all the time.   

As for feeling guilty about something we aren’t proud of doing or not doing.... The previous post mentioned forgiveness and this is truly important. In all directions—forgive each other and ourselves.... do unto others.... Oh and remember....

HUMAN BEINGS ARE NOT PERFECT!

Sometimes the choices we  make are between seemingly two rotten options or flawed options and it is easy to retrofit one of the options as better after the fact.   There is no claim that we as in I make selfish fearful and hateful choices, however, life has lots of choices to make so if we learn some mistakes we will have a chance to experiment  and make some other  types of choices soon and maybe that’s what is being suggested.... experiment with other choices...may they lead to some regrets....(read the above)...it’s not linear.  

Now let’s look at relationship regrets..... aren’t they all?  Regrets are  with one’s own expectations or between two or more individuals.   If you develop some plans to change and then change why let the regrets stick to you like that bit of pancake syrup you get on you somewhere  anytime you are within four nautical miles of IHOP?  Do we expect our friends, family, and lovers to carry all the regrets of the known universe around with them for eternity?  Do we want  all mistakes to become mythical misery for everyone forever and what type of dreadful existence would that create?  

This might sound cold but how many Cadillac’s can you drive at once or how many great friendships can. You have and be fully engaged in?  Do you have enough time and energy to be great friends and partners with all the people you once knew and will know?   Sure  it’s not a bad idea to reach out to people you once knew and every now and then (quite rarely) you will find  a person from your past has turned into a wonderful witty, wise, human that you are now fortunate to connect with.  Sometimes however, you will be reminded  that the reasons you let relationships lapse still exist or in some cases exist with a vengeance.  

So to sum this last three entries up in a couple sentences.   

Regrets aren’t big black clouds that just hover around.  They can be analyzed and the lessons  can be extracted if you ask questions.   Sometimes we get to the core notions that we expect things to be within our control and that what we do causes predictable things to happen.  At times we find out that we are not  at the center of the known universe waving our baton and having the fates play our symphony.  Forgiveness can be the duct ape for many things we regret and for healing the cracks that might lead to further regrets hanging on.  Sometimes we have to push a little  harder and with a little less fear because in my memory I’ve never seen a tombstone or obit that said “I wish I’d been a little more afraid  to sing my song, dance my dance or smile in the sunshine.   

Growing up to be or not to be the crazy ones

 What To Be Or Not To Be -a Continuation 

Well this is technically Part III of the “President’s” theme.  However, much like Jaws  3 and the Matrix 3 or The Godfather 3 it is not necessarilymuch the same as the initial one or two.  Only cultural phenoms like Halloween and sharknado can pull off sequels without some digression or regression right?  

Anyway...

Seeking Peace and Joy and What to Be.

So this blog and the podcast that constitute the SPJU get from  inspired thoughts to digital domains through Apple  products.  This is not a commercial, yet these devices do make sharing fairly simple and on the birthday of Steve Jobs it seems appropriate to tip a madhatters hat to him.  Steve’s life has been abundantly documented and described, yet probably misunderstood.  Seeking Peace and Joy almost always requires experiencing the now and then bringing  the meaning to these experiences into awareness.  This is not always an orderly human experience so it might be considered a “crazy” way to approach Peace and Joy.  On the other hand search Steve Jobs and “crazy ones” and some insights might be gained as to how peace and joy and the seeking of same are linked to Jobs....

Would  a person like to grow up to be like Steve Jobs?  If you mean rich and misunderstood —well I’m halfway there.  Sorry I’m not going to work on the rich (in money terms) part so maybe I’m all the way?  

I’ll make no more comments about money with the exception of saying we have a lot of people  acting like Monopoly  tycoons these days and all I can think is—there is no such thing as “free parking” nor have I ever seen a bank error in my favor.  

The whole thing about growing up is that there is a stealth implication that a person gets to a final point where they are “up”. 

Maybe the question we could ask ourselves and others  would work out better if. It was—

Who or what will you be when you  are convinced of and dedicated to growing?  You know dedicated to growing. In knowledge and wisdom—dedicated to growing in empathy—dedicated to growing in service to your purpose and the purposes in others who share the same values?  

What or who would we/I become. If we/I we started to grow in curiosity instead of fear and love instead of the need to be worshiped?  

No I don’t want to grow up to be president, yet I do want to grow wiser, more empathetic, more curious, and more able to find ways to love  my fellow human passengers on this blue marble.  

...and yes in seeking peace and joy there seems to be some growth in those directions so like our first president. I’m looking For my distillery And opium?

.Well…maybe not if it means Rhino teeth…you see the universe throws you some balance points.  That leaves us with one final question….

What are we going to be when we grow to be more like  children—full of wonder—full of laughter—satisfied  with simpler things?  

Is it time to drop anchor

 Anchors Away!

This morning I heard a fog horn….well maybe it was  just my snoring since it’s winter and there is probably not much shipping moving through the Great Lakes headed in most directions.  Also  given the relentless breezes called wind chill the surface of Lake Huron  is a gnarly  wash machine and I suspect. Most water craft are in dry dock or anchored  down safely somewhere.  

so that  inspired this… let’s think about anchors and peace and joy.

Well since  the 10th century  a lot of anchors. Are exactly the shape you see in most tattoos or on Popeye”s muscles.  This design emerged  some time around the tenth  century.  Now there are other shapes  that have been developed because we have other materials and ideas about what shapes  hold best on what underwater surfaces.   No matter the shape, an anchor is used to keep the ship from being wrecked or to hold it at a certain. Point in the water.  It is for safety, however, are all anchors  really safe?  

Anchors in Time

In seeking peace and joy we need to take a fresh look at Anchors.  So many times we have anchors that just plain stop us from sailing.  

Anchored in the past

When we anchor to the past it is so tempting to regret what is happening now and regret something we did at some point before now.   When we anchor in the past we keep looking back and are dragged back by things we already experienced.  While this gives us an opportunity to gather the lessons  we might learn from a past experience we have difficulty  applying  those lessons to in the seas ahead.  

Anchoring in the Future

We also anchor in the future  putting limits on when and where we might go and what we might choose to do given the waves and currents the world presents.  Do we spend so much time following the chain  to the place we think we need to be that we miss  the treasure that might be near by or just below the surface where we are right now.   At this time of year we are still into  resolutions and pursuing most goals we set for the new. Calendar.  Are these goals future anchors?  Once we reach them will we sit there unable to move in other ways?  

So what about being anchored right now?  Well if that gives us a chance to steady the ship then there is. Some value in using an anchor.  If we are making our ship stable and steady so others can climb aboard to sail with us or adding. Folks to row  along…well a temporary anchor from time to time. Might have some value, yet as time passes we need to stay aware. Enough to know. When that anchor is dragging us  into a situation  where we are anchored to our past.  

In short, we’re not saying. Anchors aren’t useful.  It is, however, important to know where and when you are anchored to.  It is  important to know how long you have been anchored and  it is important to know  that there comes a time to pull up anchor and drop the chain in a way that you can move the ship of your soul.    

August 2 no fireworks? WOW IT’S AUGUST 2ND! A History “Lesson” We hear a lot these days about what the founding fathers intended…Well if you look up the list of adult beverages consumed at George Washington’s going away party you’ll find that they intended to get royally hammered quite often. Also if you take a look at the calendar of summer 76 you’ll also learn a thing or two. That declaration thing for example…. Yep it’s dated the 4th and yet no one bothered to make it a public announcement/proclamation until four days later and the thing wasn’t signed until welll you guessed it…. 56 signers signed on August 2nd. Talk about post dating something. I mean really a month? I think that’s plenty of “we were just kidding” time right? Yet, I think most kids in the US and many worldwide are taught that July 4th was the day— so that sparked some thoughts. How many other bits of history are we fed to memorize that aren’t quite what they seem? I mean did Christmas really happen on Christmas and did the battle of 1812 really happen due to the 1812 overture? Did they really release 99 red balloons… Did the 100 years war last 100 years and did the guy really meet a guy with seven wives when traveling to St. Ives? Seriously did we really learn the correct history? We certainly did n’t learn a complete history. What we learn and teach is watered down version of what men said happened as they used weapons and other disgusting methods of human destruction. Is that something that really helps us seek peace and joy? What history have we left out? Wel here are just a few things we don’t know about. I’ve mentioned a few of these before in other entries so forgive me if you are bored…however these are still food for thought. What about the history of pajamas? Who was the first to have the footies with the plastic bottoms that once warn smooth became speed skating trainers? Oh what about the history of pogo sticks? Did kids just stand in one spot and jump up and down and count to 1253 for a new indoor basement record? What about the unabridged history of clothes hangers which have done as much to preserve period clothing and our knowledge of past culture as any written record? Oh and no real discussion of history is complete without the history. Of medicine. Who was the first certified proctologist? Who stood up in front of the class and said “you know what I’d like to stick my finger right up there dozens of times a day.” Oh and is there anywhere in the annals of history the recorded history of the first circumcision ? I think accounts may vary on that one, however it had to come after the first course in super sales training and the distillation of highly reactive alcohol . Maybe the point being highlighted is that there is a lot to choose to choose from when. It comes to being invfluenced by history and maybe we can think briefly about what histories influence how we approach and reflect upon experiences. Maybe it would be a fun exercise to take a clear memory and then rethink it given a different context like say It would have happened before there were automobiles? Or maybe we could think about. Things differently given how.the human body is shaped generally…like what would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way? Okay that’s enough brain teasing for now…just have the guts to be a little more curious and a little more skeptical about how history has written the foundation of some experiences in stone. Tomorrow there will be an eight line rhyme time abou this post…but thanks for reading the extended version….

 WOW IT’S AUGUST 2ND!

A History “Lesson”

We hear a lot these days about what the founding fathers intended…Well if you look up the list of adult beverages consumed at George Washington’s going away party you’ll find that they intended to get royally hammered quite often.  Also if you take a look at the calendar  of summer 76 you’ll also learn a thing or two.  That declaration thing for example…. Yep it’s dated the 4th and yet no one bothered to make it a public announcement/proclamation until four days later and the thing wasn’t signed until welll you guessed it…. 56 signers signed on August 2nd.  Talk about post dating something.  I mean really a month?   I think that’s plenty of “we were just kidding” time right?  Yet, I think most kids in the US and many worldwide are taught that July 4th was the day— so that sparked some thoughts.  

How many other bits of history  are we fed to memorize that aren’t quite what they seem?  I mean did Christmas really happen on Christmas and did  the battle of 1812 really happen due to the 1812 overture?  Did they really release 99 red balloons… Did the 100 years war last 100 years and did the guy really meet a guy with seven wives when traveling to St. Ives?  

Seriously did we really learn the correct history?  We certainly did n’t learn  a complete history.  What we learn and teach is watered down version of what men said happened as they used weapons and other disgusting methods of human destruction.  Is that something that really helps us seek peace and joy?  What history have we left out?  Wel here are just a few things we don’t know about.  I’ve mentioned a few of these before in other entries so forgive me if you are bored…however these are still food for thought.  

What about the history  of pajamas?  Who was the first to have the footies with the plastic bottoms  that once warn smooth became speed skating trainers?  Oh what about the history of pogo sticks?  Did kids just stand in one spot and jump up and down and  count to 1253 for a new  indoor basement record?  What  about the unabridged  history of clothes hangers which have done as much to preserve period clothing and our knowledge of past culture as any written record?  Oh and no real discussion of history is complete without the history. Of medicine.  Who was the first certified proctologist?  Who stood up in front of the class and said “you know what I’d like to stick my finger right up there  dozens of times a day.”    Oh and is there anywhere in the annals  of history the recorded history of the first circumcision ?  I think accounts may vary on that one, however it had to come after the first course in super sales training and the distillation of highly reactive alcohol .  

Maybe the point  being highlighted is that there is a lot to choose to choose from when. It comes to being invfluenced by history and maybe we can think briefly about what histories influence how we approach and reflect upon experiences.    Maybe it would be a fun exercise to take a clear memory and then rethink it given  a different context like say It would have happened before there were automobiles?  

Or maybe we could think about. Things  differently  given how.the human body is shaped generally…like what  would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?  

Okay that’s enough brain teasing for now…just have the guts to be a little more curious and a little more skeptical  about how history has written the foundation of some experiences in stone.  

Tomorrow there will be an eight line rhyme time abou this post…but thanks for reading the extended version….

Peace, joy, and the hourglass

 PEACE, JOY, AND THE HOUR GLASS

Time to. Set down last night’s blunder

Ride the. Next wave don’t  go under

Meet a new day  full of wonder

Grab the lightning become the thunder

As the sunset  meets the range

Some. New ideas you  must arrange

Some  feel familiar and others strange

Hold On with faith embrace the change

Call your angels. From the twilight zone

To guide your steps through  sand  and stone

Some dreams you reach may be your. Own

But I’ll share your time  you won’t walk alone

Fret not when final bells will chime

Feel your soul’s rhythm speak your heart’s rhyme

Oh sure you’ll fall but  next you’ll climb

As you hold dear each grain of time

Peace joy and boomerangsjoy

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Photo of boomerang

Peace, Joy & Boomerangs

I beat the drum of staying in the present and leaning toward the future—but not too far forward.  Leaning forward. Is just my way of thinking  about creating. Something of value for  my fellow travelers when the creative process cannot be completed immediately.  In the last week or so I drifted back into my high school experience to share some thoughts of gratitude.  Lo and behold, I wound up. On memory lane a bit more than  usual and picked up some  feelings of old regrets.  I thought that I had thrown most if not all of these  away over the last two decades —wrongg!  A couple of them came  flying  back with a bit more. Force and clarity than I would have imagined.  I wasn’t expecting this cosmic boomerang and yet maybe  this is a lesson that can move me  in a good direction when seeking peace and joy.  So I caught the boomerang  yesterday and let it sit. With me. Until a couple minutes ago.  

This. Recent  flashback spree  suddenly  became a source of. Peace and joy when two things happened.  First, when I realized that  some of the people who. Shared my past experience had learned lessons by reflecting on those even in the present hour.  So I tried that and learned that I can be more aware of how my  current actions become not only part of my past, but also  part of what others will think about and learn from when they. Drift back in time at a future point.  That means if people are going to drift back, give them your best effort to create experiences that are rich with the gifts  you have to offer and if they are somewhat. Unique  gifts that’s all the better.  In short, give more right now so that someone else’s boomerang comes back  with  possible wisdom attached.  

The other thing I learned (or am learning) is that it is really important to develop a support system  of friends and information  sources that  keep pulling you forward at least as far as the present.  It’s okay to. Drift back if you do so understanding that it is a way to see how positively you have changed.  If  going back doesn’t create that sort of mirror don’t  go there.  

Yesa and when you are going to  walk down  memory lane watch out for boomerangs. And last. But not least watch your  speedometer because when you hit  88 miles per hour you might. See some serious shit...

Looking forward to writing this tomorrow—Hint think tablets :)

To everything turn turn turn the season of peace and joy

TO EVERY SEASON...TURN, TURN, TURN, AND SEEK PEACE AND JOY

Sure the Byrds made it a mildly successful folk tune in the viet Nam era.  However, just like Elvis did so often, these folks pinched the words from another source.  Now you can’t find  the “heartbreak Hotel” in Judea, but you only need take a peak at another King’s words to find Solomon cranked out this classic in Ecclesiastes.  Lo and as I recall the song mentions “gathering Stones together”.  Who knew Mick, Keith, and the lot would still be getting satisfaction after all these years?  

Okay this effort isn’t meant to be a snippet left on the cutting room floor from “The School of Rock”—it’s about being late. September (no I’m not launching into Maggie May). You see, we are rolling toward the first day of fall and the season that was summer is about to turn, turn, turn and I’m left here wondering (like many of you) what in the world happened to Summer?  Wasn’t it just the 4th of July?  I mean wasn’t it just yesterday I was watching the great hot dog eating contest sponsored by Nathan’s where this guy packed away 60+ hot dogs in 10 minutes?  

Holy  Mustard and relish Batman that’s a lot of tube steak.  Then again, Americans love their hot dogs.  In the summer, we eat an estimated 7 Billion hot dogs every year and spend 2.5 Billion dollars on hot dogs.  The unofficial  world’s record price for any given  hot dog was recorded  on the West Coast and rang up at $169.00Now, ballpark prices are out of control, but this wasn’t a Dodger dog thank goodness.  While that pushed the limits of price, the world record holder for size is a reported 668 pounder.  

Alright we’ve covered rock music and hot dogs..and they may have a lot do with summer and peace and joy, butI’ve been waiting for my internal control to come along and start writing about “seasons” because that’s the real topic here...and this is the season to make those thoughts clear.

One song lyric that emerged when  writing about the lessons Ive learned in life is that every dream has a season if you don’t let apathy win.  I believe that and yet I’m not sure I believe in the “norm” when it comes to seasons.  The norm is things are born, they experience a childhood full of growth and experimentation, they reach an adulthood where they are stable and “prosper”, and then they decline.  Another way to look at this is through the lens of  a fruit tree.  The tree grows from a seed, eventually grows into a state where  the tree produces fruit containing seeds, drops those  seeds by letting the fruit ripen and fall away to the ground and then the fruit rots away letting the seeds have a chance to start the growth of another tree.  The difference here is that the tree gives back and passes along the essence along.  Finally, I have  learned to look at seasons as not quite as inevitable  for people as they are for some other things.  If someone gets up each morning, meditate3s or prays or and  prays (or does anything that reflects  their beliefs, and then dedicates themzselves to the notion that today is a “new” day, then maybe each day becomes it’s own new season.  Each day contains a rebirth or dedication.  Each day includes experimentation and learning.  Each day. Has a part where. You pass things along or share your gifts.  At the end of the day, you lay down the remains of the day knowing that  if there is a tomorrow you will start anew.  

Yes what I’m suggesting is that every day has it’s seasons and that.every day has the potential to contain changes.  That’s what we can learn from  the actual seasons—that things will change and so will we.  as seasons pass in our lives we grow comfortable with the fact that winter will give way to spring and that summer rolls past into fall when leaves turn glorious colors and prepare to coat the ground thus producing the natural material to enrich the soil that will bring forth the next new tree.  For me, when I pay attention, andam seeking peace and joy I see a lot of new trees each day.  People get new jobs.  People move to new locatins.  People offer up artwork or things they have written.  People build things that inspire others.  You might argue that  these things are fruit not new trees and that’s just fine with me.  The point is, that if I look I see these things and that since the seasons have taught the  lessons of change, it brings a sense of peace and not fear when the changes come as they will.  

We all can see new trees every day—we can see growth in the trees—we see the fruit ripen and fall so  trees can come forth.  We experience all of. This in the  here and now and it is a full experience.  Again for me looking at daily seasons brings some peace and lessens the thoughts I havetyhat any given thing is happening out of season—for the feeling that things are.  Taking place out of season is a thief of peace and joy.  The reality is that everything happens in a season,but it is very hard to  see the whole season sometimes.  On the other hand, if I am intentional, I include elements of all the seasons in my day each day.  Then nothing seems quite as out of place.  

Wow who knew we could go from a 668 pound hot dog could find its way through to  a philosophic metaphor for living through the seasons of events in life?  Well... it happened and now it’s time to let the primary hot dog season go.  Bring on the bon fire season, the apple cider and a new school year because now and always the times they are a changin’

Peace joy playgrounds and imagination

PEACE, JOY, AND THE PLAYGROUNDS IN YOUR MIND

When I was a kid...(That’s a good way to start a speech you know because. You’ve got that in common with everyone in the audience.)  

Well back in the Flintstone Age I had a favorite Park playground and I would guess many of us did.  Many of us also had a classic swing set out in the yard.  Today I was thinking about a couple pieces of  playground equipment that were popular and yet would never be around today.  There was the sit down Meery-go-Round.  There were two types of these, one was  a solid piece of iron cut into a circle with  some  bars to hold on to while sitting  or standing on it.  Now one or two kids had to get the thing spinning so s/he  would grab a set of these bars and start running around in a circle.  Of course the never-stated but always known goal of the pusher was to run just fast enough to jump on and enjoy the ride.  If that didn’t seem possible then the goal became to push hard enough so that someone was begging to get off.  Now there was  this other. Type of  thing whichoperated on the same principle, gut the sitting place was a set of benches connected  together instead.  Now that was a trickier thing because if a rider lost  his grip then  he or she  was spinning around holding on only with his/her legs hoping  the rest of the riders were tall enough to get their  feet to the ground so that this didn’t become  a spinning, head banging device.  Of course there were the monkey bars or jungle gyms as they were called in some placed.  This was  sets of metal bars welded or bolted together and kids went out to climb on them and hang from them.  How many concussions did kids get from falling off these?  After all a fall was either  going to be to the ground or to the ground after hitting  several steel pipes and other kids along the way.  

So these things  weren’t safe.  Why did we love them so?  It’s simple they were the places where our imaginations turned this spinning metal into a space ship or a race car.  The monkey bars became a club house or a pirate ship or a castle.  You see these  were places we used our minds to imagine adventure, fun, and glory-filled possibilities.  

Yet just like most  of  you there came a day when I was too big or too old for such things.  What did I do with that left over imagination?  Well until recently I used it to imagine my kids were going to get into a car wreck, or my best friends were all going to die young, or the next storm would  drop basketball  sized hail stones on our  Jeep.  For some reason I no longer imagined joyful things— I just used that mental energy to worry.  

The thing is...I really rarely had control over how fans at that  playground thing was going to spin or how crowded and slippery the jungle gym was going to be at  any given time and today I don’t have control over the weather, the economy, or the size of hail.  By the way why doesn’t hail get to have it’s own size?  Couldn’t we have. Hail-sized golf balls just once?  

Well to sum up I have been  on a rant lately telling people “don’t worry.”  I probably. Need to throw  out the other part of the equation which is  that there is far more peace and joy using that part of your mind to imagine better possibilities, new songs, better ways to cook the same olds foods, and different ways to treat people  who are not friends yet.  

Oh and the next time  I get the chance I am going to find the most dangerous  piece of playground equipment at some  old park and go for  a spin because the universe is out there waiting for us to explore!

Back on the road in peace and joy assumptions and expectations

BACK ON THE ROAD TO PEACE AND JOY

From time  to time in a person’s life time  disappears.  It seems like some months go by very quickly even if some days are very long.  There are moments that  change lives and time periods where it seems no change takes place for a good long while.  For me, in the last month I made  a couple trips back to the p0lace of my youth and was struck by how some things have changed dramatically while other things remain the same.  Or maybe everything has changed but some things have just changed at the rate I expected.  

These trips prompted me to think of  the “catching a ball traveling at  90 mph?”  I would ask how many students through they could catch a ball tossed to them and the ball was  traveling at 90?  Even. More, I would  as if they could catch it bare handed?  Most students said that would be difficult or impossible.  I told them that I believed  nearly every student in this room could do it.  Do you. Think you could?

I believe most of you could.  What is the basis of this belief?  Do I think you are all sports superstars?  No.  So here’s  the deal.  Get in  your car and find a freeway where it is relatively deserted and get your car going. 90 then very softly  toss a ball back and forth between  two or mor passengers.  

Technically you are catching a ball going 90 easily and bare handed.  You see it is all relative.  Change is relative too depending upon your perspective and expectations.  Which leads to the point of this post.  Seeking Peace and Joy almost always  takes the courage to  look at things in a “relative” way  by reflecting upon  your. Current expectations and assumptions.  

So if. You are  planning on seeking peace and joy starting with. A good look at assumptions is. Not a bad  leaping off point.  The next few posts  are going to  feature my (and I suspect al lot of folk”s ) assumptions and expectations.  

My time on the road last month helped to clarify some  fo these for me mad helpers me  take a few steps forward on the road  called  seeking peace and joy.  

BTW I’m happy to be  back here by the river and and by the keyboard sitting at the familiar spot  on the table.  

Have a tremendous today.

Progression regression the gression peace and joy and a few other ideas about resistance and habits

PEACE AND JOY A CONFESSION OF PROGRESSION,REGRESSION, AND DIGRESSION

So in my last entry I offered. A little rhyme about. Perfection and progression.  My intention was to write  a little song to share about those things. And make that this. Next. Post.  Well, as often happens in life, some other stuff happened.  I could  provide. All the details and say “here you judge whether I made the right. Choice putting off my song”, however would that change what I did or am likely to do...honestly....not likely at all.  Hence I’m just going to  ask you to trust  me on this.  The song will be more meaningful by tomorrow than it would have been today.  

That brings me to the  target message from my soul for today.  In a nutshell (by the way have you ever tried to keep anything in a nutshell?  Do you know anywhere they sell the same fabulous  nutshell storage  containers?  If so do they sell a universal sized. Lid unlike Tupperware where each container has a uniquely sized disappearing lid?  Well that’s a topic for a different. Day.  

This morning I liste3ned to a book suggested to a friend of mine by a friend of theirs.  It was a “good” book about how people “resist happiness” (hint that might be. The title of the book or something  very close to it.  NowI’m not sold on  all the concepts in the book, however, it provided. Some insights on resistance that I had never really  considered for a long time.  It helped me  feel my way through some  circumstances and realize some differences a between  when I am digressing in order to learn or build something of a new foundation or just plain regressing out of fear of “losing control” or “failing in the eyes of someone else.   

It talked about  the principles of living in the  here and now and still being able to honor delayed gratification.  That is something I struggle with on occasion so I found  a peaceful way to think and feel about that and in a word that was  pretty cool.  

Like about  a dozen things I have read lately it highlighted the importance of  habits in the battle against resistance.  So upon finishing my walk and the book  at the nd of my walk—I said to myself—

Self, what is one way to combine the idea of progression with the ideas of battling resistance.  Here’s is what happened.

I need to drink less sugar and more water so upon returning from my walk I looked over the counter for. Any of my favorite cups to swee if I could fill it with water instead of cola.  Then it struck me—no, not the cupboard door  because I didn’t realize I had left it open—that maybe just maybe I was  better served by starting a bizarre.however different  drinking habit first thing this morning.  I fumbled through the  cupboard and found a wine. Glasss, put four. Ice cubes in it and drank. Three glasses of water.  I felt really good about this.  So tomorrow I’ll do the same and pretty soon I suspect Iwon’t miss the  soda pop first thing.  By using this special  glass, I made it clear to the forces of resistance  inside that I was here to battle and win by treating myself to this  special  glass.  Will it work?  I think so because I  think of the first miracle where Jesus. Turned  water into wine and so I’m going to turn water into health.  

By the way I have seen several religions debating whether  Jesus actually turned the wate into “nonalcholic” wine which just makes me chuckle.  

Okay enough. Rambling—here are the takeaways—I owe both. Of my friends a thanks for  introducing me to the ideas in the book I listened to.  Second digression  can be valuable if it is in the spirit of experimental change.  Celebrate. A change. With a symbol (a wine glass if  that works.  Battle resistance even if sometimes  it wins.  Oh and  humans can find anything  to argue about in  a religious  context.  I believe. It was real alcoholic wine and  it taste3d great  versus  being less filling.

Peace and Joy. Be With. You Today

Aging gracefully Helmo a birthday salute to peace and joy

FINDING PEACE AND JOY ON YOUR BIRTHDAY

Well you see I was thinking about having this big celebration and then I stopped for a moment remembering that  the application for a public bon fire wasn’t completed and that means no cake.  So instead I figured I splash out a few  more ideas about the peace and joy of aging instead.  

First You don’t need to worry about  style.  One day you will realize that your favorite t shirt is older than  anyone else in the room.   No not any other T-shirt, any other person.  You don’t have to change hair styles—your hair will change on its own all you have to do is figure out. How to alter it slightly or. Find a lot of  good hats.  When people talk about their tablet—it has nothing to do with religion, Moses etc.  

There’s  no need to buy Rice Krispys —If you want to hear. Snap crackle, pop just listen as you roll out of bed in the morning.  Instead of worrying about. How long it is till you can drink in the bars you can start. Checking out the “senior” dsisaxcounts.  

Seriously, yesterday I wrote about a couple of college experiences and  a couple folks suggested that it  might be great if we. Could go back.  Life, my friends is not a Hansel and Grettle sort of thing.  It’s always moving forward at exactly the right speed (well except when you can’t really wait for the next rest stop).  

I would have had to learn everything I’ve learned to date to deal with this year and am glad I have had those experiences.  

So what this is all leading. Up to is this  little birthday poem for all of us  hanging right around 60.

On Turning 60

Today I turn 60 that 10 times a six

If I could go back. Would there be things I’d fizz?

I might think about it  but time won’t reverse

And  who knows I might wined up in. A place that’s much worse.

If you could do things all over would you never be sad?

Would. You be twice as wealthy or would things be twice as bad? 

Would. Your friends and your loved ones still be quite near

Would. You drink the same soda, whisky, and beer?

I can’t. Answer these things

I have no idea how

The reality is I’m here and it’s now

Sure there’s a few folks who’ve. Passed that I would like to have back

But now they’re my angels and try to keep me on  track.

I have  found a few shamrocks and have placed some bad bets

But trying to live fully  is worth some regrets

And I’ll keep asking my questions. And facing some fears

After all I’m gonna live about 40 more years

When each morning comes I’ll remind myself in all ways

It’s not the days in your life, but the life in your days 

When your purpose is to seek and provide peace and joy

But today is my Birthday—Cake and Ice cream oh Boy!!!

Standing in the middle of the desert waiting for your ship to come in and peace and joy

STANDING. IN THE MIDLE OF THE DESERT WAITING FOR YOUR SHIP TO COME IN?  THERE CAN STILL BE PEACE AND JOY

Standing in the middle of the desert waiting for. Your ship to come in is a line from a Sheryl  Crowe (sp)  song.  You know being at the wrong place at the wrong time waiting for the wrong thing...sort of deal.  

Well for the longest time the question I asked myself when I found myself in that spot was “how did I get here?’  

Of course, that leads to a series of reflections about  all the  choices you should have, would have, and could have” made. It gets me and I suspect many stuck in past mode thinking and  lets us imagine the circumstances that  you were in then are the same as. You are in now—which is simply not the case.  You. Make  decisions in the present without the  benefit or curse of knowing the exact results of the decisions and all the changes the universe  brings about.  

So you are still in the middle of the desert..now what?  

Step 1. Build a big smiley face in the. Sand so in the unlikely event someone flies over they will know someone was there and can  track your. Trail away from that point if they are. Looking for you (we all have someone looking for us.). Then if you absolutely believe anywhere is better than where you are now, pick a point on the horizon and start moving toward it.  Now if you come across a smile on your journey to thatplace one of two things is possible.  You have walked in a circle or someone else is sharing this desert with you.  Either way you have learned something.  Pick another point on the horizon and start out again.  If you reach that point be joyful that you have chosen to be there and by the guidanc. Of yourself and your spirit you have reached a new point.  Draw another smile.  Why?  You’ve earned it!  Eventually, you will learn to get to a place where you want to be or learn you like roaming the desert.  It’s a win-win.  

The difference?  You will stop asking “how did I  get here?” —And Start asking “why am I here right now?”  The answer to thawWill be generally—because I chose to head this way from where I was instead of all the could have would have should haves.”  That is a far more peaceful place.  Drawing the smiles is not only a sign of accomplishment for you, but it can serve as a set of markers to others you wish to teach or help and you guessed it...that is almost always the source of some joy.

So to sum up...we all find ourselves standing in the middle of the desert from time to time.  Don’t spend too much valuable time wondering how  you got there.  it doesn’t help us move anywhere.  Start asking yourself where do I go from here and why and be happy that you have choices.  Draw a lot of smiles—because they help you and others try to understand that Peace is your journey not your destination and Joy is something you share as often as something you collect like stamps or coins or money or houses or (you  fill in the blank.)

Oh and if you thought  today’s  entry was strange...tomorrow the. Topic is “What’sthedifferendce between Meditation and Duct Tape?”  

Have a terrific day and draw a smile for. Someone today....