Seeking peace and joy? Try a threesome

SEEKING PEACE & JOY?  TRY A THREESOME

Of ideas of course.

At some point  in the last couple of  decades we have sharpened our abilities to draw distinctions.  There is nothing wrong with being unique (I hope anyway).  Unfortunately the distinctions we have drawn  have led us down the path of defining others not as different from.  Us, but as being the opposite of us.  

It’s everywhere we turn.  Would you like paper or plastic?  Taste great or less filling?  Many of our diets tell us that health comes from eliminating one thing or another altogether.  Moderation is not enough anymore not even a moderate amount of it.

So many questions I hear and. So many I hear others ask the person next to them are. Not questions per se, they are demands for  a dualistic extreme answer.  When the answer comes out you are  thereby categorized and that my friends is that.  

That’s why I suggest we try a few threesomes in our lives.  Let’s expand the freedom of choice a bit.  Instead of asking if someone is a liberal or a conservative ask them to describe  how they see the best path to a better future?  If you dare ask what kinds of things government  could do better and how?  Maybe follow that up with a question about  how their ideas would work at the. Local, state, and federal level?  Create a little complexity and make it okay rather than kicking people down one of two slots and assuming everything from there.  

You see, it seems. We creat a lot of pressure on ourselves by practicing this “one of us or not one of us” ritual over and over almost each day.  We create pressure when we have to define folks quickly and correctly  every moment of every day.  We focus on what is different from us in others and in the ideas of others and we toss aside the similarities in order for us to settle our souls.  It’s probably human nature to do this a little because  being  absolutely right is easier than  facing a complex reality. 

The downside of this is that when I and others employ this framework it automatically  throws everything into a conflict perspective.  If we could just  make an effort to force a third choice into our thinking. Most of the time, imagine the difference it might make?  

Imagine the  variety of responses you might get if you asked “do like chocolate or vanilla?” On the one hand and if you asked “do you like chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry?”  Some folks might then have the courage to reveal their. True and peaceful selves by saying  “Well—of those I like chocolate, but  what I really like  is chocolate chip mint.  By offering a third choice, you have offered to open up the responses and this brings me to my summary.  

You see adding a third choice often means we have provided the freedom for people to  express themselves and therefore we get to know them better.  We relieve ourselves of the need to  judge and we lessen  the fear of being judge that so many people  carry around like a heavy weight these days.  There is just so much peace to gained by trying a threesome!