No time to panic: the finale

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M THIS IS NO TIME TO PANIC—THE FINALE

Well...I’m writing this on Halloween and I really want to start with  a story about  the great candy crusades of my youth, however, I’m going to save it for tomorrow and against my better judgement  get right  to the subject. At hand.  

so far in this miniseries the posts have  resented the notion that the “old social and personal narratives are  fading and some other narratives are emerging but haven’t  fully soaked in.  I would argue that none of the most recent  “competitors” will unify our world’s narrative, and probably. Not our country’s narrative since  one of the paths often taken is to build a personal narrative and. Journey based on identifying  who we are not.  Grabbing on to who you are not removes a. Lot of anxiety  and defines you as part of a group—it creates belonging, yet it also leads to duality and exclusion and almost requires differences to include a power component not an additive  or complimentary one.  This type of narrative building IS NOT A RECIPE FOR GROWING PEACE AND/OR JOY!

So I asked readers yesterday to consider what they might stay to their 15 year old self given the chance.  It was a trick, but I’m not sorry I put it out there.  You see this is not Hansel and Grettle—there are no bread crumbs.  So anything you might have said to that 15 year old was probably  a list of  I wish you would haves or regrets that you are still holding on to.  Now the only thing I would have told my 15 year old self is take it easy on my knees...I miss them.  Oh sure I  might have said some other things...I want to sound perfect you know.  Come to think of it the “I want to be perfect” club is  pretty large and expanding constantly, but the “I am perfect association has a very limited membership and hasn’t taken any new members for quite some time.”  

Anyway let me make a suggestion that may help in building a functional  narrative.  All the things you wanted to tell that 15 year old are lessons you have learned.  So  why nbot start by telling. Your 15 year old self thanks for starting the learning process on those things and reminding. You thatthereismorelearning yet to come.  Oh and tell  him not  to drive a Ford Pinto in heavy traffic.  Now.let’s move the other direction to yourself 15 years from now.  The messages  moving in that direction are your expectations about how  thepath from now till the IS SUPPOSED to go and so it’s full of your assumptions and predictions.  So these. Little messages are  just a way of. Pulling off your existential scabs to see what still needs. To heal.  

Now that you’ve provided yourself with those bits of wisdom let’s go forward.  Again—no bread crumbs :)

Now here’s  good news...when most of us grew up we only had  one or perhaps a two  narratives to choose from and there was trememndous pressure to stay within those. Guard rails, so going outside those  rails always produced a lot of people shaking their  heads and wagging their finger at you.  This made it difficult to explore and test your values, behaviors, and emotions.  Now when people followed the same path they had a reasonable idea of where it. Could lead so you didn’t have to convince yourself that you were on the right trail.  Unfortunately this robbed you of your  opportunity to assign different meanings to different experiences and that’s a pretty high price to pay for the security of conformity.  Now you can  go to the all you can eat buffet of values, skills, and relationships and balance your life in a way that has meaning for you.  

So start there...start with  what you want your life to mean to you and then be confident that there are many  stories that can get you. To that moral so to speak.  Then write your  first scene picking up the lessons your past self has given you and  moving ahead.  As far as a role...think of yourself as a great inventor like Edison who failed a whole bunch of times  before he got the light bulb to work just long enough so that. You had to keep buying them every few months so that the cash would keep rolling in.  Or think of yourself as  Indiana Jones who  runs into trouble every now and then

But solves the puzzles in time, or maybe the right character is Neo or Trinity from theMatrix who starts. Into the adventure and can upload new skills immediately while testing the limits of  the “real” world and the  world constructed by those who would like to control you.  

So start with  your values, learn the  behaviors that show others those values and start writing after you plant yourself in a setting knowing that  this setting will change either because it changes or you change it.  As you  write your “plot” give it three ways to twist at least three and then you will have plenty of stones to step on as you cross. The. Stream of obstacles that a fast flowing  stream of our current  existence puts before you.  Don’t. Concern yourself with plotting the whole way across because if you set the stones out too far then that part of the river may flood and your paths. Becomes invisible and. You stand  there suck.  Just assume your path across. The river and your narrative will not be linear in geography, life roles, or time.  Expect to feel young. Again starting new enterprises often.  Accept that you may not finish some parts of  your life and may need to find other ways to express those. Values.  You don’t have to. Be patient and wait and see what happens to you because you can learn, however since you are human there will be times when your patience is tried.  Don’t shake your fist in the mirror when that happens.  When  you lose your cool breathe and try to  use the Arthur Ashe  mantra “Start where you are.  UUse what you have.  Do what you can.”  Notice  he didn’t say figure out what you did wrong, find out  whose fault it is, and complain about  what you don’t  have but still need. 

If you need to have the world prove things to you that can be your narrative—the search for truth....Just remember that  your journey will then  have to have two. Kinds of experiments  going most the time.  You will fairly test two competing ideas and see  which idea proves to get results that. Highlight. Your value as and use your gifts and you’ll have to study  your path by moving forward with the skills and values. That have already been proven into new areas and. Observe if those  parts of you work in new situations and if they don’t get ready to test two competing ideas again.  Learn  what needs to come next in. Your narrative from.  What you have just learned and believe in your process.  

As you put together your new  stories a and your. New roles rememberthat Batman had robin, The Lone Ranger had  Tonto,sponge Bob has Patrick, and so on—yes   You will have people who will walk with you on your path and  play critical roles in. Your life story—let them and help them know you so that  they can help you and they can ask for help too.  

So..in the end..after all this  am saying 

THIS IS NO TIME TO PANIC because you have tools and you have options that you  may not be thinking about and these  tools, like you, are very powerful and  will assist you in making  meaning...and more than that the meaning you were. Hoping.  The worlds is no longer. Going to stay steady at least for a good long while so  if the round  hole turns square, you are at least going to. Have to  be a triangle to  keep from getting stuck.  You. May have to reach out to find others who belong to your tribe. Or share your narrative, however you do not have to. Expect that everyone will belong and  you don’t hav e to work hard to exclude anyone...if they needs excluded there is enough wiggle room in our society now that they will most likely exclude themselves if needed.   I’ll talk  more about  finding a tribe and changing tribes in a week or two.  

Be a happy explorer and experimenter.  Remember that experimenters. Never fail they just find a lot of ways not to do something  sometimes.

Our culture is  changing significantly. And quickly, yet you can choose not to panic...you have tools and you are not alone.  Recognize the value of your.values, the strength of your relationships, and the power of working with one another to create a flexible growing. Narrative.  You don’t need to control the outcome because the outcome is likely to be far. More wonderful than you expect and while the maze may have some walls no path needs to be a dead end.

Next Up... a poem about your story and some  thoughts about Halloween that will still be haunting me. Tomorrow.  also the podcast goes back online tomorrow because  I owe you folks that and I  haven’t been working hard enough at it... Peace