These days?

 Well if you read this blog very often you know the subject matter comes from all over, almost anything that drifts through the Seeking Peace & Joy Universe is fair game.  So when this little screen said it was “National Do Something Outdoors Day” it was time to get this written and get out for a walk.  As the keyboard started making these letters appear on the screen, I started (not for the first time) wondering who selects these days or “invents” them.  Is there a secret committee bankrolled by Hallmark waiting for one of the thousands of these “days” to crack open a new market so that they can sell a piece of paper for five bucks?  Well…. I decided  that for the next couple weeks the Seeking Peace and Joy Universe is going to declare “days” of it’s own…..not every day because some days will be your responsibility…. Like it could be “National Tom Weeds His Garden Day” or “international Mac plays the Fiddle Day”…. Otherwise I’ve got the calendar covered.  By the way if you ever forget your days are numbered look at the calendar….see numbers are rightthere.   

So although I’m going to honor the get outside” thing today is now “National Jobs I’d Never Want Day.”  Here are five jobs that are not for me.

These are in no particular order…

Camera Operator—

What you ask is wrong with that…well let me finish…Camera Operator at the Colonoscopy Clinic.  First of all no matter how good you are you are dealing with  A- - holes all day long.  Second while your patient has done some prep work some people are still full of (you fill in the blank).  Now when you finish each procedure there is always the clean up and well that’s something I wouldn’t want to think about.  So From this point forward September 30th will be National  Coonoscopy Camera Operators” Day.

Mirror Store or Mirror Department Owner/Manager

I just couldn’t see myself in that job so I’d be let go quickly.  Also no matter what job you do there is always something that breaks or breaks down…. Who needs that much bad luck?  Every time you set up a display or one of those multi-mirror areas at a clothing stores you’d have to know you looked like that—-really?  

The Assistant who Works at Self-Check-Out

You see people who go to self check out think they are faster and more equipped than a trained cashier.  However, let’s think about this…. Is the average person off the street as quick or as efficient as someone who does something hundreds of times a day?  So then when someone who thought they were better than a trained person has a problem two things are already at play… the person has to admit they probably didn’t do something correctly and they are not going to zip right out as fast they thought.  The self-check out clerk can almost always figure out what needs to happen immediately and then you have a customer leaving that is trying to figure out how to make it the store’s fault anyway as they tried to save the minute it would have taken to go through a lane.  What you don’t want to tell that irritated customer is that they are hurrying out to their car to jump onto the busy street where the light is going to turn red and that minute they were going to save is gone anyway.  The Saturday  after Black Friday should always be National Cashier’s Day.

Election Official/ Ballot Counter (or any sort)

No matter what you do and how  many times you do it somebody and about 50 percent of somebodies isn’t going to like what you have to say when you tell them about your day or what you learned.  When I was a kid we played ball every day all summer long and one team won and won team lost….We had some judgment calls but nobody ever spent the next day or even two minutes  warning the other neighborhood kids that “the game was rigged.”  We didn’t go home and meet with our teammates to discuss how we could change the rules tonight so that we would win tomorrow.  Anyway there are other things that would stink about counting votes.   Every year there are confusing referendums that are often worded by politicians. So that they confuse voters and you don’t no for sure what voting yes or no for really means.  For example one recent ballot item was “Do you want to allow  the sale of recreational Marajuana once three medical marajuana  business are fully certified?  What does “yes mean….you want to insure full certification  for other types of venders?  What does no mean you want weed shops right now or not at all?  Now you have to count the votes and announce the results and answer reporters asking questions….good luck

Finally I never want to work as an Oragami Artist—-

Simple reason …too much paperwork

Well that’s about enough for today….

Remember always give 100% unless you’re going to the blood drive.

Now get outside.