Patience I Peace And Joy

PATIENCE? I WISH...

About  three days ago I  put a handful of chips in a bowl...not so much because I  was craving chips as I must have wanted the sodium and these chips have  about enough to keep the streets of Fargo snow free  half a winter.  anyway I dig in as if I hadn’t eaten for a month.  That’s whyI put the chips in the bowl to avoid just opening the bag and grazing.  Well I’m chomping away and on about the 37th bite it happens... It’s happened to most of us so you’ll  empathize  momentarily.

 I accidentally bit the inside of my lower liP.  Well it wasn’t a horrible  gash except for the fact that I had a mouth full of semi-chewed salt nuggets.  Adding insult to injury—or pouring salt into the wound so to speak—I  knew in an instant that this happened because I  was incredibly impatient to eat.  Why?  I don’t know.  It’s not like someone was going to steal my food and yet I  got this sensation I just had to eat these in a hurry...I couldn’t wait...I needed to eat and get moving on.  

Well as it happens with these type of things you don’t just bite  there once because the bump left with the healing process swells just enough that  your canine catches it  a few times in the next couple days.  Well that’s just one consequence of impatience.  So...here are3 some things I try to remember and some things I try to work on my. Patience.  I’m telling you right up front that I’m not the most successful so these are but suggestions.  Remember that. WD 40 had 39 tries before they got it write and let’s not even talk about. Formula 409.

Lately, I’ve practicing by isolating one of my senses and  in the middle of any given activity just becoming aware of that and paying close attention to it in the moment.  You see impatience is nothing but wanting your future to be here now or at least the future your believe is coming.  so a few seconds ago I 2was paying attention to the bottom of my left foot that is very comfortable in my boot leaning slightly  inward on the leg of the little table where I sit my iPad.  Before that I was sitting. At Chili’s eating  fries and. Decided I wasn’t even. Really  tasting them so I stopped to see how many grains of seasoning I could actually taste.  That  has been working okay for me so fart and  let’s me fill the  present moment with enough engagement that I am not worrying  about what needs to happen RIGHT NOW DAMNIT!”  

The other  mental exercise I use is a mantra or a saying that I keep track of and make sure I say to myself three times a day.  That. Mantra is... “every dream has it’s time and everything happens exactly when it is supposed to whether or not I understand that.”  

So far that is working out okay as long as I make it  part of a couple of routine things I do (I.e. make blog entries).  

Well...I have a few more comments about  impatience and. Patiences. In our society but if I can wait until tomorrow so can you...member  things happen exactly when they are  supposed to.  

In honor of Veterans Day always seeking peace and joy

HONORING  PEACE AND JOY

I shall honor  all the troops wherever they may roam

I shall respect their service on foreign land and homeMay we leave behind  quite few in distant battlefields

And limit the black number we carry back on shields

If when all else fails we must send  folks off to war

May  we know the whole truth about who and “the what  for?”

May all the guardian angels watch for rockets overhead

Land mines drones, and snipers that leave behind the dead

If our sons. And daughters are bound to fight and parish

May we  celebrate their lives and may our  every day let’s cherish

May we salute each one, each one that we  deploy 

And  hold them in our  hearts with thoughts of  peace and joy

When the last rampart has  been  launched and the last shot leaves the gun

Have gratitude and reverence for the freedom that’s been won

May wisdom lead to  long-lasting peace instead of epic war

And may we find  a way not to do this anymore

Episode 200 milk library and seeking peace and joy

PEACE AND JOY POST 200 AND BEYOND

A couple of days ago I was searching around on the backside of this  website/blog and I noticed that  the number of published entries was creeping up on 200.  The first thing that came to mind was “holy crap there’s no way I’ve had 200 significant thoughts over the last year.” I mean just this morning I was fishing.ougt the  last couple of pieces. Of Cap’n Cruinch from my bowl when I realized I had put way too much milk in today.  If I don’t have that much left over milk I usually spoon it out, but this was a “tilt the bowl” and drink itt”.quantity.  We use “skim” milk.  I could go on about  how many types of milk there are now, however the comedian Louis Black does this. Incredible routine about that.and you can watch that because I have. Other things to write about today.  I  will only share tow more random thoughts about. Milk related  things and then move on.  I don’t know who invented all these different types of milk and I don’t care, but I’m wondering  if skim milk was  invented  in our dairy state—you  know at the University of Wisconsin at ‘WHITEWATER?”  Also in a show of  good faith and  gratitude would it be acceptable to ask  kids to wear pictures of missing  milk cartons on their  shirt?  (Yes, I used that in. Another post.). well it is exactly that kind of mind that has  produced these 200 entries.  A curious  mind that has been nurtured by a lot of  teachers, creative musicians I know, and books, books, books, books—did I mention books?  Where can you find lots of books?—the library and tha’s my main topic for today.

Let’s start with a little history shall we?  I suppose  it is appropriate to  honor Ben Franklin and his mates for opening the first library in America on this date in 1731...well it wasn’t America yet  and you know where you could learn all the facts about  that event (on the internet dude).or at a library.  What  a good idea.  If you are going to govern yourself you should  get yourself a little  wisdom involved.  So this was the first one in  what was to become the US and it was  started in Philadelphia.  Anybody want to guess where the firs at library west of the Mississippi River was opened?  Hint: I’ve been there numerous times (that will help some of the readers.  I have had a library card from there.  I’ve been asked to leave there a couple times (oh I know that’s not a great clue..I’ve been asked to leave a lot of places) and I believe the next time. I’m in town I should take a walk past that building again.  Yes...that library opened in Burlington, Iowa.   So we have two fun facts about libraries want more?  Of course you  do...right?  

While we  had the door  buster grand  opening  of a library  some 288 years ago we were far from the  first in the world.  It’s estimated that.  The first libraries were established  in about 7,000 B.C. I hope nobody has an overdue book from there because that’s gonna cost a whole bunch of shiny rocks and several sheep and maybe a camel in fines.  I don’t know  what the largest library in.the United States is, but I grew up in Iowa and we had the largest library for the. Blind and visually impaired in the world at that time and that was cool.  But. All kinds of  recorded materials and Braille books with millions of dots doesn’t compare with  either the Magician’s Library in New York.  Where is that exactly?  Nobody knows because three  kids. Went in and  read the book on invisibility spells and poof.  Oh and in France there is a library of smells.  They  don’t use the Dewey Decimal  system there.  They just have  a couple of 6 year-old kids who run home to their dad once a day and open  small plastic containers and tell  their Dad—“smell this!”  Then they go from there.  I did look some things on the Dewey  system, but I didn’t find what  I was looking for.  I wanted to know  how libraries kept their books in  order before then.  Did they arrange them by  color, or weight and size.  Did the  Romans use Roman numerals?  You know I was thinking about that  too.  Wouldn’t doing long division using  Roman numerals be a pain?  What is  an L divided  by an X multiplied  by a C? 

Okay..I’m going to get around to. How all this is related to peace and joy now.  I’m going to do a three part series on libraries after the first of the year, but for now I’m just glad they exist because we can get books there.  Books are important  because they both fuel and feed. My curiosity.  Curiosity is the driving force for learning and combatting fear.  Fear is one of the  biggest  challenges to peace and joy.  Sometimes I don’t do the best at controlling fear, however, I work hard at growing and honoring  curiosity and yes..finally...that’s where. These 200 episodes come in.  These episodes are my  humble response to “how can I share in a conversation about seeking peace and joy?”  Well..I have more questions and maybe.after 200 more posts I’ll learn that curiosity killed the cat, but until then I’m going to keep on reading and keep on writing so I hope you will keep on reading and  feel very free to comment and share these posts...someday I’m going to make some of these into a book and  maybe.that book will be in a library I can get kicked out of.  

Thank.you all for being readers.

Peace and Joy be with  You. 

Thank you Thursday – first responders ensuring peace and joy

THANK YOU TO. THE FIRST RESPONDERS—THE GUARDIANXZ OF PEACE AND JOY

Question: Would you rather be sitting by  a campfire singing along with. A sweet guitar?—OR—running into the toxic smoke of burning foam rubber with parts of a wall falling  into your path?

Oh or would you rather be stretching your legs at a scenic rest stop where the leaves are  yellow, orange, and crimson—OR—Racing  to  the scene where.two cars found the same space at the same time and  there is glass ad crimson liquid that needs to be moved so that you can scoop someone’s legs out of a car and safely, but quickly get them ready for transport?  

Well and maybe you’d like to be. On a dark country highway, witness  someone breaking the law, and have no one to  call just then?  

If you  want to be a person running into the fire, racing to the crash, or standing alone to check suspicious behavior raise your hand..... oh you pass?  I see.  

Well the thing  is...I want to say thanks  to those people who have the  intelligence, caring, and courage to raise their hand, get  well-trained, and do the job of protecting my opportunities to have peace and joy.  

I could  write a book on how important  these people are—hell I could write3. A library.  You see I. Know some of these people. Pretty well and one of them is my daughter and most of her close friends as well.  Oh and her husband to be.  What they do keeps people alive and allows. These people to keep living a life that can  include peace and joy.  It holds families together for one more. thanksgiving or birthday and that’s just th  tip of the virtual iceberg.  

Let me throw some “first responder facts” at you.  You see 1.25 million people die from heart attacks each year.  SZtatistics. Tell us that 70% of these people are gone before  they reach the hospital, but how many are gone when the first responders get there?  The data isn’t out there.  One thing is for sure the first responders (mostly paramedics) who keep that number from being.100% are highly trained people who fight to save your life and get you to the hospital because you have a  better chance of becoming stable and survival.  Therefore the next time you hear a siren get your car pulled over and out of the way.  I guarantee that your trip to get Starbucks or an Egg McMuffin isn’t as important  as the cargo  these people are going to pick up or deliver.  a lot of folks go the extra mile for  friends and neighbors they like...these people go the extra mile for the people they like and ALL THE REST  too.  Most if not all first responders. Now how to do  all of the following:

Keep you from bleeding to death

Treat  you for heart attack and strokes

 Make sure you don’t die from a snake bite—no you aren’t supposed to suck. On the bite to  get the poison out as  the poison has a high likelihood of being absorbed under your tongue so you can watch.each other go into. Shock and die just for fun.  

These. People. Can do initial burn treatment which  does not mean  putting  butter on the burn.  That  increases your chance for infection from an outside source and  unless you are planning on applying a popcorn or dinner role bandage, well skipping the butter. Is probably a good idea.  They can tell you that  leaning. Your head back to stop a bloody nose doesn’t  really help, in fact it can send blood down the back of your throat into your  stomach.  In turn that can induce  vomiting and so you’ll be cleaning up bloody puke.  How does that sound? Fun?  Try  putting  your head forward and  pinching. Your nose around the nostrils for about 10 minutes and if  the bleeding hasn’t stopped by then call a first responder.

In addition to the  things  these  people do to keep you alive, they have other things to teach us that give me a. Sense of peace and joy.  These people work and train as teams.  They  protect each other like  bands of brothers (and thankfully mor..sisters).  They are fiercely loyal to their mission and you won’t hear them saying “it’s not my job.”  They may not be  on call or doing a shift, but they. Are always aware of your  safety—much like people who  fight for disability access never see the toilet the same, these people scan the situation and minimize risks for everyone when.possible.  

Okay, I could go on and on and already  have...but my. Point here is this... seeking peace and joy takes courage and  making change in the face of fear sometimes.  These people say “hey I’ve. Got your fear (and some of your stupidity) covered today”. For that. I say Salute—-Thank You and may whatever positive force exists out there protect you as you protect us.  

The politics of Peace And Joy

THE  POLITICS OF PEACE AND JOY

It’s the morning after an election in America—no not  the BIG ELECTION—but then again  most male politicians believe.their election is much larger than it actually is.  Normally I’d apologize for the sexual innuendo, but in this case I am trying to make a point. We seem to be  suffering an ED (election dysfunction)  these days.  Yep it’s a clear case of  VES—Viagra Elections Syndrome.. You know, elections (often  enhanced by pharma) pump candidates up, campaigns last forever, and don’t 

go away.  I’m not going to spend a lot of time analyzing last nights results, because  Results should be the product of the work politicians do.not what the voter stated.  Also it seems we  see a lot of commercials about who someone is. And is not, but I guarantee you  if I spent that kind of money..everyone would love me lol.  I would feel so much more at ease if the folks we elected on either side of the aisle actually. Seemed to understand. My daily existence.  So in the coming year let’s scrap the debate drama and  line these candidates up in front of a  sink and see how they. Scrub up a pile of  dishes (extra points for the ones who get the  cheeses that has been baked on cleaned off completely.  after that move them to the  three minute toilet cleaning or unclogging rebuttal period.  While we’re at it let’s see who can change a tire in the rain, shovel some snow, and maybe do some laundry, including the folding and making sure  the dryer sheet is not clinging to the  hind side of  the pants you are going to wear to a meeting where. You discover it’s still hanging on.  I’d say. Let them balance a check book, but they’ve proven there is no hope. In doing that.  Let’s have them. Take  a quiz over the constitution of their state or the United States.  Let’s. Make them play bingo with  a group of senior citizens to see if  they can’t keep up and if they  understand the balance between  friendship and competition that is church bingo.  Let’s randomly select a couple candidates from the phone book.  We do that with. Juries and it’s worked out pretty well so far.  If the randomly selected. Candidates beat the  party  loyalists and nominated ones, give  them all the campaign funds raised by that  candidate and let them. Keep half and give half to their favorite  school or food bank.  

Anyway...obviously I’m not convinced our current  “qualifications” of being able to  speak in public and  insult your opponents in a debate is  the best way to  chooser the people we are going to pay to  make decisions...but such is life.  

Well...I doubt whether any oof my perfectly. Reasonable  election reforms  will be adopted just  yet, however, I can share some ideas that allow me to  find some peace and joy in the  never ending election cycle.  

Firtst whenever anyone. Complains that  it’s a two party system repeat the mantra  we had in college. “I believe in a two-party system—-Party all day and party all night.”  You see. There’s a two party system. Where  no one has to choose from polar opposite positions—we need to think about that some.  Second, on the day after the election let’s have  “how We Are Alike Day.”  This  would be a day when  we don’t talk about winners and losers.  It could be a day dedicated to  touching. Base with how nearly all of us are  alike and share some core beliefs for the most part.  If we did this maybe we could find  out that  one party. Didn’t have to vote in a block against the other. Party’s. Transportation based upon difference in religious values.  Legislators seem to believe in the lottery so I would. Find  some peace and joy if. The outcome of the lottery impacted them as much as it impacts funding for human services and education.  So every  Thursday night at 6 in every state and at the national level let’s assign a number to each.politician and if their number comes up in that  week’s lottery their  term ends immediately.  

Okay, I  suspect we will have plenty of time to. Continue this. Topic since it’s a year till the BIG Election Day.  Work with your neighbors on local  solutions to things so you don’t have to count on someone who might not understand  your life.   Fight hard  to make sure  people not pocketbooks have a voice in the election process.... seek what we share...and peace and joy might follow.  More about Iowa. Caucus  time.  

In God We Trust—All others pay cash...

Tomorrow is Thankful Thursday the topic will be thank you  to the FirstResponders.  

A letter to my 15-year-old self seeking peace and joy

LOOKING BACK, MOVING AHEAD, AND SEEKING PEACE & JOY

Not long ago I invited the readers of this blog/column to take a few minutes to write a letter to their. 15 year-old self.  In the spirit of  walking with people  who might be seeking. Peace and joy, I wrote such a letter and will share the bulk of it today.

Hey Jim,

I want to start by saying I don’t know how this is possible either, but I’ve been  given the. Opportunity to send you a letter from your future  self.  Is it a miracle?  Well it is  but  it’s only what you learned in 2nd  grade to be a minor miracle—you know like finding anything in your locker after the first couple weeks of school.  To  make. You trust me I’m supposed to tell you something only you might know, but that’s kinda hard since you are a bit introverted so picking something is sort of hard.  How about this..your  favorite but a little stupid physical activity is riding your bike at top speed around that. Horseshoe corner in Crapo Park, leaning far enough over to  almost rub your elbow on the ground so you can keep up enough speed to  coast all the way through that little path and all the way to the guns that are poised to attack Illinois if necessary.  No, Illinois is not going to attack anytime before the year 2000 so you don’t have to wonder if somewhere in Illinois they have guns pointed at us.  

Okay if you don’t  believe  me that I’m you by now just read the rest anyway.  You read other things you don’t believe already just add this to the list.  

I tried to keep this  short because  I know  you are busy and you’d rather be listening to music in your spare time.  Sorry the Beatles are never going to get back together and John will be assassinated in 1980.  It’s a good thing you’ll be able to buy liquor legally by then.  

So I’m going to divide this letter into two. Parts...one. Part will be what I want you to do because I know what happens and the other part will be some other bits of wisdom I think you should hear from mebecause they might help you grow up a bit more peacefully.  

Things you  might think about doing... 

Well there’s going to be this movie “Forest Gump” and it’s going to remind you a lot about  this time in your life.  In the  movie Forest’s friend invests  some of Mr. Gump’s money in a “fruit company.”  It’s a technology company named Apple—invest in it.  I know you  don’t have a clue about what you want to do for a living, but here are some things to stay away from  When someone   Tries to convince  you to learn html—it’s cool to know before most your friends, but  that coolness wears off in about  6 months.  Don’t get into  careers that include selling or repairing technology.  People will  buy it at high prices but it won’t last and won’t be worth  repairing.  

Don’t spend too many hours worried about  girls right now.  Sure, you  will have a crush or two, but you won’t understand women for quite some time—or ever.  You’ll have your share of  broken hearts soon enough and you might break a heart or two without  knowing it or meaning to—again it’s a good thing  you’ll be able to buy liquor soon.  Speaking of that —just because you can drink more tequila  than most people you’ll ever know, don’t spend a good part of your late teens and early 20’s  proving it.  Keep studying math enough though you won’t be a teacher or an accountant and keep writing every now and then just for fun.  Finally try to be less  competitive and hold less grudges.  Someday when you’re about  45 you’ll learn that  holding grudges is like  drinking poison  and hoping your enemies will  die.  

Now here are some things I need you to know.  First, and most important, thanks for keeping me alive so far.  Thanks for already knowing that you can gain more freedom by growing ideas than you can by going to places, having  money or things, and ignoring  social boundaries.  UYou will ignore some of those your whole life by the way.  Thanks for knowing that it is  important to question answers and answer questions (it won’t gain you any points when you. Write those questions in the margins of your tests in religion class or in American Politics, but it’s one of those skills you picked up somewhere and it still helps me today.  

Thanks for. Learning that trying. To be fair is  important even if it probably can’t be achieved and for listening when people taught you that whining is not productive.  I’ve been reading a long time and have never seen any books titled “Whining Your  Way to Happiness” or “Annoying Your Friends and Family by Arguing that You Are Right is the Path to Health and Prosperity.”  Thanks. For learning the fine line between  sarcasm and really trying to hurt someone with your tongue.  You’ll step over the line now and then, but  not intentionally and a lot of people will admire the way you  use that skill, but not everyone.  In short, thanks for growing up okay.  You have learned that hard work can pay off at least sometimes.  You are afraid of your future a little because  you aren’t very. Confident about  who you are and because  you are a bit of a misfit.  You will meet a handful of the  most wonderful misfits on the planet and they will be  the best friends you could ever ask for...remember that at all times.  

Before you even start reading today take a moment to check out some really good holiday bling since were talking about the future here is someone investing time in quality products that will last into yours check it out and then come back to read this http://whal3n.bigcartel.com

Well that’s about it—in some ways Lyon are a typical teen aged kid and  won’t believe  an old person like me anyway....but you have a great memory (thanks for working on that too)  so this stuff will. Make sense to you someday.  Try to stay curious, remain a bit philosophically flexible, and to turn out the lights when you leave a room because leaving them on seems to  irritate  everyone in the Northern Hemisphere.  

Oh  yes and one last thing... take. Better. Care of my knees and back because when you have your  surgery you arten’t going to see the nurse getting ready to trip over the  catheter tube and it is really going to hurt if she  pulls it out.  

Well that’s my letter to my. Younger self... I truly believe thanking  your younger self. For  getting you through  some strange things in life is important and more so than  holding on the the mistakes you wish your younger self might have avoided.  Seeking  peace and joy is truly a strange balancing act between gratitude and attitude change over time.  So... if you dare.. find a couple things to be3 thankful. To. Your younger self  today and carry those things forward.  

The scariest stories ever Halloween peace and joy

PEACE, JOY, & THE GREATEST GHOST STORIES EVER

Okay ...Okay..there’s no ghost stories here.  Why did I  write that?  Well because when people  see the word (people and google too) Halloween they expect to see something scary.  You want scary watch CSPAN or network TV.  I am, however, going to talk about Halloween, peace, and joy.

This morning the helium filled bat balloon started to sag just slightly, the remains of the  “give-away” candy have dwindled, and the batteries have gone dead on the. “GOOLS JUST WANT TO. HAVE FUN” singing witch.  In short another  beggers’ night is in the books.  

No how many rings my tree of life grows not a Halloween passes without me thinking. Back till I was 8 years old.  There I was dressing in the classic clown costume for the fourth year running.  Did I really like clowns as a kid? Not really and I don’t really like them now, but the costume wasn’t bad and I was a tiny kid so it still fit.  It was. A pretty shade of blue (my favorite color) and white and it was warm enough that I didn’t have to wear a cot under it or over it which always ruins the whole vibe.  How tiny was I?  Well we had a classic 1956 Ford Crown Victoria powered by 312 cubic inches of giddy-up and more chrome than  you can find on a whole car lot these days.  If we had used it for a circus car and the clowns were my size, we could have fit 37-43 of us in that car.  

Anyway back to the story... 

I suited up for. The candy crusade and was pretty excited.  I had a complete mental map of  the neighborhood and had catalogued  who was going to drop what  in the pillowcase.  I knew who piously dropped pencils or pennies in the bag and double checked my memory to. Make sure I had located the people who put those wax paper  wrapped (orange and black) chunks of sticky concrete (better. Known as ) peanut butter. Taffy.  Having  all this in mind I grabbed the mask.  OMG, OMG OmG that mask.  It wasn’t so much plastic as chalky asbestos texture. It had somehow taken on the aroma of cedar and moth balls and when I pulled it on it scratched several parts of my face.  There  was a tiny  slit for the mouth that allowed a tiny breath in and out and the eye holes were just  big enough to catch my eyelashes  and sometimes my eyebrows on Now I have vision problems enough already so these dots with a visual field of about 4 degrees weren’t ptimum and  about the only light they really let in was the glaring light of headlights coming down the street.  There were plenty of those because we were. Living on the first  full street in town from the country.  

I took in a couple  full breaths and followed  the neighbor kids out the door and  the goody grab was on.  

I was  small but fast and it was easy to follow. The reverberating trick or treat chants up and down the streets.  Oh and after about 4 blocks I flipped up the mask—who was I kidding everyone knew  it was me because everybody knew. Everybody in a small town (and in a lot of big town neighborhoods too).  

well having  completed the circuit my brother and I returned home.  We did the traditional dump and sort in preparation for the trading portion of the event.  We say across from each other in the kitchen and prepared  like owners on draft day or high rollers on the New York stock Exchange.  My beast trading  chips were. Mounds and Almond Joy.  I don’t  like the texture of coconut so I could go 3 for 1 if I could get a Tootsie roll or a Milky Way—even a “fun-size” one

Now there’s a marketing  ploy...What’s so fun about a small  piece of a regular sized item.  But. No one blew the whistle on the candy companies and. Lo and behold these many years later we have  a lot of employers who pay. Far too many workers with fun sized salaries and a number of our politicians have fun sized intellect it seems.  

anyway I started with 53 pieces of candy and after trading I had 49 pieces of really good candy... set to last till  candy cane  and popcorn ball season.  

My parents let us have  a couple pieces  before bed so counting the couple I’d already eaten I had about  43 left sitting on the table and strolled off down the hall.  It had been a great night—well until then.

Somehow one of us three boys had  left a matchbox car (with real working  doors and hood)  on the floor right. Outside our bedroom door very near the toy box but not quite in it.  The  door. Caught the  toy and  it got lodged against the frame so the door didn’t  quite close all the way.  There was a little sliver of  light showing into our room which was no big deal,unfortunately, that wasn’t. The tragic part.  Just before. I could  reach dreams.and I heard the  sound that was as loud as the first  gun shot  at Lexington Concord, or Bunker Hill.  It was the sound of all the candy on the. Table being slid int the big. Red metal  family bowl!!  My candy! My candy had just become community property—oh the injustice of it all.  I momentarily  thought about  running out to  reverse this, but then  once  one foot. The floor I remembered being told a few days. Ago that Iwasn’tsupposed to  get out of that room unless  I or one of my brothers was “on fire.”  So I climbed back into the  bed and tried to drift off to sleep figuring I would. Watch a couple episodes of Perry Mason and make my argument for the candy in the morning.  Then  as if it couldn’t get worse....

My eyes were. Closed and I was breathing slow and smooth when I heard the scariewst sounds ever coming from. The living  room....No it wasn’t my parents making out—it was that theme song and that voice talking about a sign post up ahead.  You got  it it was “the  Twilight Zone.”  that sealed the deal for me.  I have never really liked. Halloween since that fateful. Night.  

so what does any of this have to do with PEACE & JOY?  

Let’s drift back to that mask.  I think when you seek peace and. Joy it is sometimes necessary to try out some different roles and. From time to time you may look and feel like a clown when it’s all said and doneHowever, if  you spend too much time wearing a mask to hide your true self either when you look in the mirror or when you are out in front of others, it will take its toll.  The  mask may look okay and match the suit on the outside, and yet on the inside there may be things that keep you from breathing and seeing the beauty in the world outside.  

so to summarize..HAPPY HALLOWEEN—we’ve survived again.  When seeking peace and joy find some comfortable costumes to wear from time to time but  always stay aware of the masks that you wear and that others. May be wearing.  Sometimes you are going to have to  give yourself to the whole community, but. You will  get some of them back just at the moment  when you need a sweet reward.  Yes, sometimes life will drop fun-sized trials and tribulations into your bag, however,that could help you be grateful  for the strangers who lived in the third house on the right two blocks up who changed their gift every year but it was always a full sized name brand candy bar and if you were early enough you got to choose.  

Well...I think I see a sign post up ahead so I’m going to finish for today... It’s time  to move to  another scary day....Black Friday

Peace

No time to panic: the finale

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M THIS IS NO TIME TO PANIC—THE FINALE

Well...I’m writing this on Halloween and I really want to start with  a story about  the great candy crusades of my youth, however, I’m going to save it for tomorrow and against my better judgement  get right  to the subject. At hand.  

so far in this miniseries the posts have  resented the notion that the “old social and personal narratives are  fading and some other narratives are emerging but haven’t  fully soaked in.  I would argue that none of the most recent  “competitors” will unify our world’s narrative, and probably. Not our country’s narrative since  one of the paths often taken is to build a personal narrative and. Journey based on identifying  who we are not.  Grabbing on to who you are not removes a. Lot of anxiety  and defines you as part of a group—it creates belonging, yet it also leads to duality and exclusion and almost requires differences to include a power component not an additive  or complimentary one.  This type of narrative building IS NOT A RECIPE FOR GROWING PEACE AND/OR JOY!

So I asked readers yesterday to consider what they might stay to their 15 year old self given the chance.  It was a trick, but I’m not sorry I put it out there.  You see this is not Hansel and Grettle—there are no bread crumbs.  So anything you might have said to that 15 year old was probably  a list of  I wish you would haves or regrets that you are still holding on to.  Now the only thing I would have told my 15 year old self is take it easy on my knees...I miss them.  Oh sure I  might have said some other things...I want to sound perfect you know.  Come to think of it the “I want to be perfect” club is  pretty large and expanding constantly, but the “I am perfect association has a very limited membership and hasn’t taken any new members for quite some time.”  

Anyway let me make a suggestion that may help in building a functional  narrative.  All the things you wanted to tell that 15 year old are lessons you have learned.  So  why nbot start by telling. Your 15 year old self thanks for starting the learning process on those things and reminding. You thatthereismorelearning yet to come.  Oh and tell  him not  to drive a Ford Pinto in heavy traffic.  Now.let’s move the other direction to yourself 15 years from now.  The messages  moving in that direction are your expectations about how  thepath from now till the IS SUPPOSED to go and so it’s full of your assumptions and predictions.  So these. Little messages are  just a way of. Pulling off your existential scabs to see what still needs. To heal.  

Now that you’ve provided yourself with those bits of wisdom let’s go forward.  Again—no bread crumbs :)

Now here’s  good news...when most of us grew up we only had  one or perhaps a two  narratives to choose from and there was trememndous pressure to stay within those. Guard rails, so going outside those  rails always produced a lot of people shaking their  heads and wagging their finger at you.  This made it difficult to explore and test your values, behaviors, and emotions.  Now when people followed the same path they had a reasonable idea of where it. Could lead so you didn’t have to convince yourself that you were on the right trail.  Unfortunately this robbed you of your  opportunity to assign different meanings to different experiences and that’s a pretty high price to pay for the security of conformity.  Now you can  go to the all you can eat buffet of values, skills, and relationships and balance your life in a way that has meaning for you.  

So start there...start with  what you want your life to mean to you and then be confident that there are many  stories that can get you. To that moral so to speak.  Then write your  first scene picking up the lessons your past self has given you and  moving ahead.  As far as a role...think of yourself as a great inventor like Edison who failed a whole bunch of times  before he got the light bulb to work just long enough so that. You had to keep buying them every few months so that the cash would keep rolling in.  Or think of yourself as  Indiana Jones who  runs into trouble every now and then

But solves the puzzles in time, or maybe the right character is Neo or Trinity from theMatrix who starts. Into the adventure and can upload new skills immediately while testing the limits of  the “real” world and the  world constructed by those who would like to control you.  

So start with  your values, learn the  behaviors that show others those values and start writing after you plant yourself in a setting knowing that  this setting will change either because it changes or you change it.  As you  write your “plot” give it three ways to twist at least three and then you will have plenty of stones to step on as you cross. The. Stream of obstacles that a fast flowing  stream of our current  existence puts before you.  Don’t. Concern yourself with plotting the whole way across because if you set the stones out too far then that part of the river may flood and your paths. Becomes invisible and. You stand  there suck.  Just assume your path across. The river and your narrative will not be linear in geography, life roles, or time.  Expect to feel young. Again starting new enterprises often.  Accept that you may not finish some parts of  your life and may need to find other ways to express those. Values.  You don’t have to. Be patient and wait and see what happens to you because you can learn, however since you are human there will be times when your patience is tried.  Don’t shake your fist in the mirror when that happens.  When  you lose your cool breathe and try to  use the Arthur Ashe  mantra “Start where you are.  UUse what you have.  Do what you can.”  Notice  he didn’t say figure out what you did wrong, find out  whose fault it is, and complain about  what you don’t  have but still need. 

If you need to have the world prove things to you that can be your narrative—the search for truth....Just remember that  your journey will then  have to have two. Kinds of experiments  going most the time.  You will fairly test two competing ideas and see  which idea proves to get results that. Highlight. Your value as and use your gifts and you’ll have to study  your path by moving forward with the skills and values. That have already been proven into new areas and. Observe if those  parts of you work in new situations and if they don’t get ready to test two competing ideas again.  Learn  what needs to come next in. Your narrative from.  What you have just learned and believe in your process.  

As you put together your new  stories a and your. New roles rememberthat Batman had robin, The Lone Ranger had  Tonto,sponge Bob has Patrick, and so on—yes   You will have people who will walk with you on your path and  play critical roles in. Your life story—let them and help them know you so that  they can help you and they can ask for help too.  

So..in the end..after all this  am saying 

THIS IS NO TIME TO PANIC because you have tools and you have options that you  may not be thinking about and these  tools, like you, are very powerful and  will assist you in making  meaning...and more than that the meaning you were. Hoping.  The worlds is no longer. Going to stay steady at least for a good long while so  if the round  hole turns square, you are at least going to. Have to  be a triangle to  keep from getting stuck.  You. May have to reach out to find others who belong to your tribe. Or share your narrative, however you do not have to. Expect that everyone will belong and  you don’t hav e to work hard to exclude anyone...if they needs excluded there is enough wiggle room in our society now that they will most likely exclude themselves if needed.   I’ll talk  more about  finding a tribe and changing tribes in a week or two.  

Be a happy explorer and experimenter.  Remember that experimenters. Never fail they just find a lot of ways not to do something  sometimes.

Our culture is  changing significantly. And quickly, yet you can choose not to panic...you have tools and you are not alone.  Recognize the value of your.values, the strength of your relationships, and the power of working with one another to create a flexible growing. Narrative.  You don’t need to control the outcome because the outcome is likely to be far. More wonderful than you expect and while the maze may have some walls no path needs to be a dead end.

Next Up... a poem about your story and some  thoughts about Halloween that will still be haunting me. Tomorrow.  also the podcast goes back online tomorrow because  I owe you folks that and I  haven’t been working hard enough at it... Peace

No time to panic part two

NO TIME TO PANIC—PART 2

Okay what was Part I?  I’m not going to make you go back and look.  In that first part I talked about how  the “Great Depression” created a universal  narrative context for  our culture  and that of several generations to fit into and to draw our personal narratives within.  Unfortunately (or I might argue fortunately) that. Narrative isn’t functioning or functional anymore.  The result of this is that  a whole lot of people are  facing anxiety due to the fact that  our neither our education nor society’s whispers have prepared us to create new functional narratives for our time and our lives.   So as if it’s not bad enough (or good) that we are experiencing the old narrative eroding, we are lacking the tools to  quickly cope with the corresponding ambiguity.

So...that’s where we begin today.  

Building a new narrative.  

Well you may have noticed that. We spend a lot of time these days in the  world of  “I am not!”  So often when in a society  where we have been. Trained to test the null hypothesis we use this. Tactic to find out who we are by eliminating all the I am nots.  The  challenge there of course is that  who or what you are is then defined externally or through comparisons.  This leads to a process of moving to the extremes.  So I’m not dark so I’m light, not soft so I must be hard, I’m not skinny so I’m fat etc... It also leads to  a constant  barrage  of marketers telling.us we’re not  skinny enough, tall enough, clean enough,rich enough etc... In short a lot of our. Social messages are. Telling us how to define what we are not and if  we are going to claim we are not something we must be extremely  not that.  It’s a great  tactic because people want to belong even if they have to  make sure belonging. Guarantees  other folks. Cannot.  

In short we spend most of. Our time constructing  our lives around who and what we are not in order to eliminate the anxiety of not knowing.

Eventually adopting all the I am nots wears out most people and lacking the  energy or tools to start creating a world that reflects who we are or. Could be, we simply give  up and that’s when we start hearing —“IT IS WHAT IT IS”. While that is. A great if you come to that after a lot of observing, howe3ver one day you will wake up and realize it isn’t what it was. 

Now..I claimed I was going to give you some new tools and so here they  come....

Put on your  favorite  red and white striped top hat and say the following

Who we are the world forgot

But I am not who I am not

But if not that  then who’ll I’ll be

It’s not up to  them, it’s up to me

While I explore and I decide 

Don’t  claim I’m for the other side

I may be neither  this nor that

I may wear yet a third hat 

Since we are not really living under a solitary narrative in our world and certainly not in our country you have an opportunity to form your own.  You can follow someone else’s  or join with others and that is absolutely needed at some times.  Just remember you are making that choices and you are the decision maker when it comes to what experiences mean to you.  

Since  we are all out there trying to redefine some. Things, treat each new day as an exzperiment where the goals are exploring, describing, and understanding not. Predefining testing and  controlling.  In short build your narrative by asking the  questions and observing the answers instead of  having an answer and looking for proof you are  right, because when you are  wrong you will create more anxiety not peace.  

Biew your  days as if you are an orchestra  conductor...you can shape the sound of the entire song of life, however, accept that the viola and the kettle drum will always sound  like the viola and the kettle drum and yet you can add or subtract instruments as you  go.  Remember that “with” and because of” are two different things.  You will want to experience life with others, yet peace and joy does not come because of others.  Your willingness to be with others in the moment shapes  your narrative even as you create it’s meaning.  

Alright...that’s k probably enough to chew on for today.  I’ll end today with a  little task for you—one that I have. Found really helpful.  Imagine you  have the chance to write a letter that will be delivered to  yourself at age 15, what would you say in three sentences?  Now. Imagine you  needed to write a letter to the person you will become 15 years from now..What. Three or four sentences would you  share?

Tomorrow there will be some more  ideas about building a narrative and a few final thoughts on the power. You have as. A creative soul.

For now..have fun time traveling. 

Seeking peace and joy? – Is it still Black Tuesday?

THIS IS NO TIME TO PANIC—AND SOME OTHER  WELL-MEANING MOUTHFULSToday marks the  90th  anniversary  of BLACK TUESDAY—the day the stock market crashed, the banks started to close and the “Great Depression” (quite possibly.history’s most insulting oxymoron) took  hold of the nation’s and the world’s economy.  So when did it end?  Not yet—I would argue—not yet.

The “depression narrative became the  life story for our grandparents, their  parents, and many of their  children.  In so many ways it kicked off a narrative where an individual could never get enough security, never protect enough wealth, never  fully trust government, and that’s just for starters.  Not much more. Than a generation. Ago, employers and employees  alike were determined to have. 20 or 30 year careers as a norm.  Employees were engaged in their. Workplace because  their was not an expectation of  many job changes, if any at all.  

So you say...”that’s just not true anymore.”  I’d say....”of course it’s not—you are right”. However, ask almost any parent what they would want for their. Children in terms of  a career and life and they would  most likely say they want their kids to find. A job they love and can hold on to—one with benefits, a great life partner, a healthy existence, and a nice family.  

In short the “depression” led to a fairly common social narrative that rolls on even though most. Adults today, and practically any youth will tell you “that’s  not things are  today.”  

So what’s all this have to do with  seeking peace and joy?   Well...I don’t usually say this...but it’s simple.   Seeking peace and joy includes growing  your  ability to craft, adopt, and pursue your own personal narrative.  Until quite  recently any individual had only about three narratives to use as 

prototypes.  There is/was the “haves and haves mores—the haves enough, but won’t ever be a have more—and the we don’t have enough because...and most people  didn’t have too many problems falling into  their  chosen or prescribed cultural spots.  Now, however,  you probably. Have an entire  society that falls into  one of four narratives that are much different from those, and far more difficult to construct a life narrative around.  I see out there these four:

1. I have  a lot and I am entitled to it—pleacse don’t change the universe now.
2. The “I’m next in line and I’ll learn some things and get mine..narrative
3. The “I’m different than “those  people and I will fight to get mine”  Narrative
1. The “none of this really makes sense, I’m. A bit lost, and I am afraid to do much of anything” narrative

The challenge is  clear (or at least to me).  All the new narratives divide people up  a bit differently and each comes with a free truckload of anxiety.  

What’s more set against the backdrop of the depression this task of being  able to or having to create a new personal narrative is pretty jarring.  It requires skills that are schools didn’t (and still do not) teach.  We are still teaching people to by satisfied industrial factory workers sprinkled with a few administrators and even fewer le3aders.  We  have a generation of people. Growing older  who need  to be social networking,  flexible, problem-solving machines, but we are  only teaching the “machines” part.  ThaThat leaves us. On our own to.  Find a narrative  that encompasses flexible problem solving in order to approach the world in a peaceful way.  

So this is. Where it stands  right now.  

The depression set a social narrative that  still influences much of out range of  tools for forming our. Current personal narrative.  That. Narrative doesn’t really work anymore although it still influences many beliefs and changing. It rewquires  anxiety provoking change.  We are are, around the world, faced with the task of creating our. Own new dominant narrative that may not come.  At the national level.  We may have to build it at the.indivdual, family, or community level instead and we will each have to take an active role in  creating our own.  So we have a brick wall of anxiety. Blocking our search for peace and joy.  

What do we do?   —Read tomorrow for ideas...

For now relax you know the whole world is going through this (if you care about. What others are doing and thinking)...I know, I know...in the whole history of  helping people relax—telling  someone to relax has never  worked—so till tomorrow simply ask yourself “what is my “Great Depression?”  Now.....