Friday, April 3, 2020

The toilet paper monologues people just can’t get enough


Don’t Squeeze Me—It’s My 15 Minutes of fame.

This blog often features everyday  items so it’s not really all that unusual that this entry goes over the top (or is it supposed to  be hanging the other way?)  when it comes to one more household item.  Just because. This has become  the topic of the month doesn’t mean I’m taking advantage of circumstances—okay I am..but since this  an entry in the “Pande3mic Journal” and Day 2 in the Pandemic Era for commentaries (PE-D02) it’s only responsible public discourse to “go there.”  

toilet Paper —the “Back” (or a little lower) Story

Well as I have noted so many times the Chinese  are credited with the invention of toilet paper—or they first recorded it’s use in the 6th century.  Now don’t get all excited, this tolet paper  came in  two foot by three foot sheets not on a roll and was not  the soft  stuff we. Use today.  How we got to  the place we are today is a little scary but worth  knowing.  For instance many substances have been.used for the purpose of  cleaning up after so to speak.  Among these are rocks, sticks, leaves, corn cobs and a variety of catalogs and new2spapers.  I know some. Newspapers  that have devolved to a point where that is a fine use.  However, these substances don’t shock me as much as  two other options.  The first  is the use of a sponge on a stick.  Well that doesn’t. Sounds bad you say.  Oh  but I failed to mention this  sponge was  shared by  all the members who used that particular public or private facility and  it was traditionally kept soaking in salt water.  The other  alternative that makes me cringe a bit was the use of  not paper, but wood shavings.  Now this conjures a whole new perspective to Grandpa sitting on the front porch whistling  away to make some  fancy duck decoy knowing the shavings were headed for the outhouse.  Oh you are thinking what ab out the splinters?   Well ...keep reading

Up until the late 1920s and early 1930s modern day toilet paper often contained splinters.  While  what we call toilet paper first came on a roll in about 1857 it wasn’t squeezable soft  by any means.  In fact it was full of pulp and splinters and  the user had  to. Be very careful using it.  It is not  certain whether the paper we used. Back then would have evolved except that paper did not work well with indoor plumbing.  People needed paper that would resolve easily in water instead of burn in their stoves and fireplaces.  

How much is too much?

Well here are some numbers.  It takes a a forest or a small wooded area to supply. The people who used TP.  Only about half the world’s  population have access to it and can afford it.   Anyway each person who uses it consumes the equivalence  of 384 trees in the course of a lifetime which averages out to somewhere close to 100 rolls a year.  On average a user flushes. About 8 sheets per time.  For a while the trend was to produce colored. And printed. Toilet paper to. Make it more decorative.  There  have been periods when it has even been scented.  Now we have settled back into white for the most part because no trained chemist or artist should have to present something to a boss seeking approval that states “your design isn’t good enough for  toilet paper” or “your brother the chemist is working on a cure for  cancer and you’re working on what?—the smell of early morning  Everglades for White Cloud?”  


Wrapping  this up so to speak

Our household has enough and we did not hoard it.  Do I appreciate being born at this point in the evolution of  bathroom products?  Oh yes!!! I guess the question I must ask is how many other things. That I might. Appreciate more just  slip through my hands and  wind up going down the drain?  Maybe we could all spend a few moments pondering just that.



Well I’m wiped out so more soon 

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