Thursday, February 28, 2019

P&J Network Building Part 1 Walking Backwards

WALKING BACKWARDS


If

The message in the next three  blogs has been brewing in my head (a crowded carnival these days) for about three weeks—which  means it has been  banging around up there for way, way, longer, however, I only heard it start whispering to  me about then and have decided to  attempt to apply  some  voice to it.  

Oh, what  about the if?  I started with an if and let it hang there.  Well that’s because “if” is where this begins.  
If is a magical word, a bit  marvelous and a bit  dangerous all at once.  

You see “If” is a “bridge” word.  Or an indicator word that a door is open far enough  to  see a little  on both sides.  
If says  you can have hope, that  something once not possible may be  possible now, and so it can be  hopeful and yet it invites so ay questionss  
The most confounding of the questions it prompts is  If…. then……?  
So starting  with if you are willing to read the rest of this … you will  see some questions that might  help  you build  a “peace and joy”  network.   
So let’s take a look at this for a minute… If you accept my condition  reading this)  I will offer you questions.    

And thus here is the first question—how many times  do you start  building a friendship or a support network with a pocketful or truckload  of “Ifs?”  Here’s just a few I have trapped myself with from time to time.

“If this person  knows (enter the name  already in your network)  then I will invest time in seeing what they can add to my network and maybe, just maybe,  try  to figure out what I might add to their journey.  Well  I’m guilty of this way  too often.  

and then there is “If this potential  network member DOESN’T  like  what I don’t like then  they  are okay.  So now  you’ve gone and defined someone in the “like me/not like me” systemthat isolates all the other  possible connections that might be made if (did yu notice the if?) thone single  assumption  can be made about a  person who is ultimately far more complex than you might ever imagine.  
So, I could  go on and on with  how “if” is not a good network  starter but

Oh were you looking  for me to finish that sentence?  Well I did.  What? “but is not  the ending of a sentence.  I argue otherwise it is not only the end of a sentence it’s the beginning of  the statement “I’m through listening to you right  now because I think I have a better  idea or a better plan etc…. The  operative  word is  “better because you are  now setting up a comparison not an exploration.  

Imagine  the words you have heard them… I know it… I know you think this will work but….. or  That could be true but… or that’s okay but…”    In short you are hearing “Yes But”  What happens  in your mind/emotins/spirit when you hear  the “but”?  Well  in my mind I see gates closing, doors slamming, lights being turned off, paths being  walled off and feel the end of bridges being built….   So in building your network do you listen for the “but word coming from your  mouth or the mouth of the possible connection?

Well that’s all for today…  Just two words  “if” and “but”— 

Why did I  use the title (walking  backwards?”   When you walk backwards what do you see?  Where  you’ve  been and that is what I’ve tried to say here…. I have  used these words all too often and thus missed a great deal of potential  support and energy from others.  I had to begin this  with a notion that some of the best questions come from walking  backward and asking  what lessons  can I offer based on the path  wwhere I see my footprints.  

Tomorrow or  maybe in a couple days this will be continued with “Standing Still.”  

Have a Fabulous FridayI ok iii

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