WALKING BACKWARDS
If
The message in the next three blogs has been brewing in my head (a crowded carnival these days) for about three weeks—which means it has been banging around up there for way, way, longer, however, I only heard it start whispering to me about then and have decided to attempt to apply some voice to it.
Oh, what about the if? I started with an if and let it hang there. Well that’s because “if” is where this begins.
If is a magical word, a bit marvelous and a bit dangerous all at once.
You see “If” is a “bridge” word. Or an indicator word that a door is open far enough to see a little on both sides.
If says you can have hope, that something once not possible may be possible now, and so it can be hopeful and yet it invites so ay questionss
The most confounding of the questions it prompts is If…. then……?
So starting with if you are willing to read the rest of this … you will see some questions that might help you build a “peace and joy” network.
So let’s take a look at this for a minute… If you accept my condition reading this) I will offer you questions.
And thus here is the first question—how many times do you start building a friendship or a support network with a pocketful or truckload of “Ifs?” Here’s just a few I have trapped myself with from time to time.
“If this person knows (enter the name already in your network) then I will invest time in seeing what they can add to my network and maybe, just maybe, try to figure out what I might add to their journey. Well I’m guilty of this way too often.
and then there is “If this potential network member DOESN’T like what I don’t like then they are okay. So now you’ve gone and defined someone in the “like me/not like me” systemthat isolates all the other possible connections that might be made if (did yu notice the if?) thone single assumption can be made about a person who is ultimately far more complex than you might ever imagine.
So, I could go on and on with how “if” is not a good network starter but
Oh were you looking for me to finish that sentence? Well I did. What? “but is not the ending of a sentence. I argue otherwise it is not only the end of a sentence it’s the beginning of the statement “I’m through listening to you right now because I think I have a better idea or a better plan etc…. The operative word is “better because you are now setting up a comparison not an exploration.
Imagine the words you have heard them… I know it… I know you think this will work but….. or That could be true but… or that’s okay but…” In short you are hearing “Yes But” What happens in your mind/emotins/spirit when you hear the “but”? Well in my mind I see gates closing, doors slamming, lights being turned off, paths being walled off and feel the end of bridges being built…. So in building your network do you listen for the “but word coming from your mouth or the mouth of the possible connection?
Well that’s all for today… Just two words “if” and “but”—
Why did I use the title (walking backwards?” When you walk backwards what do you see? Where you’ve been and that is what I’ve tried to say here…. I have used these words all too often and thus missed a great deal of potential support and energy from others. I had to begin this with a notion that some of the best questions come from walking backward and asking what lessons can I offer based on the path wwhere I see my footprints.
Tomorrow or maybe in a couple days this will be continued with “Standing Still.”
Have a Fabulous FridayI ok iii
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