HOW THE COOKIE CRUMBLES?
A lifetime friend (when you get to be a certain age you know that this term applies—) and I were in a deepish philosophical conversation when he used the phrase… “well sometimes that’s just how the cookie crumbles.”
Well at the end of this post I’ll talk about the relationship between finding peace and joy and cookies crumbling…. however right now I’m sticking to the good part—-cookies.
I didn’t do worldwide research on this so I apologize to those outside our borders who read this…. I probably have things other than this blog to apologize for when it comes to Americans so just forgive me and read on.
In 2017 it was estimated that the average American eats 18,928 cookies in a lifetime. However there is of course the controversy whether double stuff Oreos count as one or 2 or 1.5 —we‘l will have to call in the bureau of standards and form a committee and after a fact finding task force gets done with a preliminary investigation, tentative findings will be issued after which there will be a prescribed comment period. For now, let’s say double stuffs are just regular cookies using Performance Enhancing Substances and while it will keep them out of the hall ofame—- the old school kind will make it on the first ballot (can you tell i’m a baseball fan?)
Alright… we eat this 18,928 cookies in our lifetime and what are the favorites —-Well this list I read counted brownies as cookies…not related to that original number of 18,928 and so I’m unilaterally throwing them out of the five.
So t5 to 1—- you want suspense right? Sugar Cookies (seems a bit repetitive to me).. come in at 5. Number 4 Oatmeal Raisin. Now I refer to this as the cheater cookie.. People will say “oatmeal is healthy and raisins are a fruit. Nonsense I say…. raisins are a fruit. They are a fruit packed sith sugar in its natural state and Raisin bran cereal contains more sugar than Frosted Flakes. So these “healthy” cookies are at number four disguised as “healthy”. Number 3 is Oreo….the originalNow I don't know if this counts all the off-brand varieties or not, however, I don’t care. Oh sometimes nabisco gets carried away with orange or pink fillings for holidays etc… but oreos will always be ok in my book. they have become a little suspect in recent years sneaking their way into the ice cream market — you know like the cookies and cream types. Come on Oreo you can make it on your own… you don’t have to count on ice cream to help you out. Then at number two…. Peanut Butter Cookies. Now peanut butter came up on the list at number two as a biT of a surprise for me. After all there are a lot of people with nut allergies out there and thus I’m a bit concerned that in the future these cookies will be relegated to a contraband status. For now good work on holding your place and of course it doesn’t hurt that people often combine you with chocolate access.
So t5 to 1—- you want suspense right? Sugar Cookies (seems a bit repetitive to me).. come in at 5. Number 4 Oatmeal Raisin. Now I refer to this as the cheater cookie.. People will say “oatmeal is healthy and raisins are a fruit. Nonsense I say…. raisins are a fruit. They are a fruit packed sith sugar in its natural state and Raisin bran cereal contains more sugar than Frosted Flakes. So these “healthy” cookies are at number four disguised as “healthy”. Number 3 is Oreo….the originalNow I don't know if this counts all the off-brand varieties or not, however, I don’t care. Oh sometimes nabisco gets carried away with orange or pink fillings for holidays etc… but oreos will always be ok in my book. they have become a little suspect in recent years sneaking their way into the ice cream market — you know like the cookies and cream types. Come on Oreo you can make it on your own… you don’t have to count on ice cream to help you out. Then at number two…. Peanut Butter Cookies. Now peanut butter came up on the list at number two as a biT of a surprise for me. After all there are a lot of people with nut allergies out there and thus I’m a bit concerned that in the future these cookies will be relegated to a contraband status. For now good work on holding your place and of course it doesn’t hurt that people often combine you with chocolate access.
Well that leads us to the number one cookie….. of course you know it is CHOCOLATE CHIP. I won’t go into the number of store made varieties of chocolate chip cookies except for a brief commentary on “Chips Ahoy.” I am not at all sure how the idea of selling these cookies using the maratime theme came into being. I don’t see a bunch of pirates standing on the gang plank saying “I’m not coming aboard unless we have those cookies with our rum.” Oh well whatever…
Alright now I promised I would get to the Peace and Joy part. and so I will…
For many many years my uncle has ben going visits older sister on Saturday mornings expecting home-made chocolate chip cookies to go with the coffee they have shared to talk about life in their hometown and the quirks in our family. I just know it is part of a routine that gives them both an anchor of peace in their lives… and though it probably doesn’t have happen quite as often as it used to. I think it has been a valuable ceremony for both of them. I’m not so sure it wasn’t a way for each of them to reset from the weak and start the weekend. So seeking peace and joy sometimes requires building some of these routines just as reset mechanisms …. Now I could be completely wrong, in which case it has always been a good excuse just to have cookies for breakfast. However, if you look at the nutrition content in some cereals you are having cookies for breakfast too. I once look at the nutrition value on a box of lucky charms and in the nutritional value box it just said LOL…
Anyway it is Saturday Night I’m saying have a cookie— relax… there are some healthy choices out there, but aI am just saying have one in honor of all the brothers and sisters who have enjoyed cookies together or all the grandmas who made the cookies for their grandkids. I know that all 18928 of our cookies haven’t been so special and a few have broken off and had tho be spooned out of milk or coffee … but there have been some very special cookies made and eaten over time and all of us should find some to enjoy from time to time.
Okay one last cookie story… when I was a kid there was a bakery/factory in our little town that made some of the “off-brand or local store brand cookies. But the smell from the factory sure was a good thing. One day in the local drugstore/soda fountain an odguy probably half my age now cam across the street into the drug store to grab some gum. He was complaining that the government was making them wear these silly hard hats now. I being curious and in a state of disbelief asked “really?” This guy looked at me and smiled—-then he says ‘yep my boy.. i survived Nam and a couple more years in this mnan’s army so it would be a crying shame if I got killed by a couple cases of vanilla wafers falling off my forklift.” He just laughed and said enjoy your tootsie pop kid to which I said I don’t have one….He threw a dime on the counter and said go crazy ny little man. So from then on how’s a kid ever going to break a positive connection with cookies?
Alright tomorrow I’m adding part two this post… It will poetic and musical and my tribute to cookies a great source of peace and joy.
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