Christmas By The Numbers Volume 4

 Christmas By The Numbers 4

Okay.. On the unofficial 4th Day of Christmas.. its some blackbirds and if we were going by the chart-topping classic that would be a tree and one bird plus 2 birds plus three more which is six  plus four  and bam that’s 10 and we haven’t even scratched the six geese and seven swans which would be 23 and that’s a lot of feathers…. .so if your true love is saying you need a new pillow every so often ….well you are good… On the other bandits a couple days after the 25th… so we’re recovering from two significant days… Boxing Day which is the day when you are tired of all your family and the real fights break out… or maybe the day you box things back up and stand at the service counter and try to explain why you don’t have a receipt and that you can’t use bacon scented deodorant because it’s going to drive your German shepherd  mad… or on the other hand you could be celebrating National candy cane day.  Now we didn’t have a candy cane day at first, however once they added the red stripes and changed the shape from a straight stick to a “J”how could those “day calendar” people let that go?  Now you might think it’s a little late in the ho ho holiday calendar  for the cane but stop to think about it… Here it is a couple days after the real onslaught  of chocolate and big Christmas dinners and there they are… You are thinking….”how long am I going to leave that tree in here?”   Then you see one… or tow…or three  hanging mints on the second to bottom branch and well your breath needs a boost and you don’t really want to open that new tooth paste that was in your stocking sobbing… it’s that candy cane to the rescue.  Now it doesn’t matter if you aren’t rocking

 Around the tree with the classic peppermint as you could be looking at Jolly rancher sour apple…and those beauties on your tree are only three to five inches  or so—not to be mistaken with the world record holding six story (63) foot  gagger that would require 17 days to suck into a point that might be useful in a prison fight.  .

Okay .. let

S bring this around the bend in the cane shall we and talk about peace and joy?  

Candy canes aren’t generally fancy and you aren’t generally going to sit and wonder  who gave you them or did you give someone the right one… What is going to happen is you are going to open it… enjoy it a little… you are going to have a positive reminder of the last couple days.. and you are going to know that the rest of your day is going to be alright.   So… maybe we should appreciate the little things in life that we can give each other…maybe we can hang around a bit after the presents have been unwrapped and provide a small bit of happiness, peace, and joy  for one another without pressing expectations?   Maybe we can know that even if we are broken a little we can still give someone a tiny boost?  Maybe we don’t have to be the star or even one of the brightest lights on the tree…but we can still add something that might be remembered with a little smile…. 

Merry Christmas

 Love One Another…. Enough said

Christmas by the numbers part two

Christmas By The Numbers 2

This is “the second day of Christmas (related blogs) and we’re not giving you any turtle doves which are. Of course a breed of pigeons and pigeons are generally full of well…you know…   We are, however, giving a brief follow-up as eluded to in the previous entry.  Oh and before we dive into the snow bank on this, please understand that the irreverence here is not a slam on the faith anyone chooses to practice.  Maybe we all might lighten up enough to observe that almost all facts (miracle related or not) taken out of context can seem odd.  For example, it is one thing to believe in the fact that a lot of people.  Could feel the spirit of giving gifts that the receiver has no clue they are about to get or where those gifts come from.  If a certain portion of the population wants to claim it’s an elf-powered assembly line…then we say judge not lest ye be judged.  Conversely, if we point out some of the magical theories we all promote maybe we can allow for a little fun in the lives of most of us okay?  

Alright… back as suggested in the last entry.. to the festival of lights.  Now one day’s worth of oil in the. Temple burned for eight days worth of time.  Now one modern fluorescent vapor bulb burns at least five and sometimes ten times longer than a bulb from 30 years ago… and one set of 8 (another 8?) Tiny reindeer—sometimes nine when the fog rolls in—pulls a roof-landing sleigh around the world in one night… is it at least reasonable to think we’ve got a belief in the hope of alternative fuels and forms of transportation?   Remember not more than a handful of centuries ago it took weeks to cross the ocean (including sending messages).. now it’s a long afternoon flight or a 3 second text to cross the pond.  So let’s be a little open-minded….and more important.. a lot open-hearted shall we?  

Getting back to holidays… so during the festival of lights there is the “dreidel spinning.”   By the next yule I promise to learn more facts behind this tradition because as of now spinning  is associated with choosing letters for a glitzy hangman show and hoping not to land on bankrupt.  So it seems like one spins the top and can win coins or candy, however can you let a fun sized Milkyway ride  hoping to double down for a Snickers?  Or can the spin land on “left hand red” and send three teen-aged bodies falling in a fortunate pile on a plastic floor covering?  It seems like the dreidel life is full of events with uncertain outcomes that will require some adjustments.   

Now… in the entry after this  we are going to explore the candy cane, however let’s take a few lines to think about the tree.  The tree wasn’t really a Christmas thing here in the United States  up until about 150 years ago.  It is sort of surprising  that the whole thing ever caught on.  Did it happen this  way?  Hey Frank?  Yes Milly…Frank it’s going to get cold in here the next couple of weeks can you bring in more wood?  “Look Milly … How much freakin’ wood do you think we are going to need?  “Never mind Milly I’ve got it.”  So frank being a smart Alec  goes out and cuts down a smallish pine tree and throws it into the corner till it dries out enough to burn?  Now maybe it didn’t happen that way and yet I haven’t seen a Fox News report on how we have arrived at a place where we bring in a dead tree or use a plastic tree as a focal point while we sit on our couch eating candy out of a sock.  

The Peace and Joy slant on the lights and the tree boils down to this…   Maybe anything that provides a place where we gather together  to share gifts together whether we are eating potato pancakes or marshmallow filled residents of the NorthPole, is in fact worth exploring for at least one more year… and now tomorrow..because there aren’t many shopping days left…we’ll be back with the checkered (no wait striped) history of the candy cane… 

 

Christmas by the Numbers

http://Christmas By The Numbers?

Today is the 13th of December so if it worked this way it would be the “first day” of Christmas wrapping up with full stockings and who Hash on the 25th.  However, that’s not how it is.  So what’s the deal…well let’s just look at Christmas By the Numbers shall we?  

So it’s only fitting to begin with the number 8.  Why eight? Well almost every year before Christmas the winter holiday season kicks off with the festival of lights known as Hanukkah.  Speaking of the festival of lights—if you count my mini tree we have  about 180 feet of pulsating sparkling joy infusing our living room with the Yuletide Spirit.  Now only Newton Einstein (Santa’s smartest elf) has the foggiest notion what a “yuletide” is… Now back to that eight  day thing.  Now it is not at all groovy to discount this ancient  religious  celebration so tomorrow or whenever the next day  of writing happens… there will be more irreverent  remarks about that… All I know for sure is that I have 25 tea light candles that I can light by pressing a little switch and that’s enough for three Menorah or is the plural of menorah actually Menorahs?  

So we have eight days of that… and why does the Christian tradition celebrate 12 days?  Well some monks and smarty pants scholars claim it has to do with the estimated time between the arrival of Jesus and the appearance of the three wise men.  Now why did it take so long for these wise men to show?  Well first, it takes a while to find THREE  “wise” men… One or two…hey..no problem but three?  Some reports that this trio were kings and came in on camels.  Now that makes some sense since three egotistic men, kings or not aren’t going to stop anywhere for directions and first century camels, even with two humps weren’t equipped with GPS so 12 days seems about right?   Oh and according to the most repeated reports these camel jockeys came with some swag for the savior.  They were hauling Gold, Frankinsense  and Myrrh?  Now gold we all understand. It’s a sign of “kingship.”  Frankincense is a really strong aroma  and a symbol of deity  and look if you are going to a party in a manger and bringing camels, you are going to want to be freshening  up the air somehow.  Now myrrh is somewhat  of a mystery.  I’ve been in a lot of retail and wholesale places and not once  have I ever seen myrr.  Not even at Cosco  have I seen Gluten-free myrrh or sugar-free myrrh reduced  by 40% in the “after Christmas sale bin.  So what is Myrrh anyway.  The best that I found out was that it is an oil used in special ceremonies including embalming and end of life gatherings/processes.  So one wise guy gets to bring gold.  Another gets to make the place  smell better.  However, the third guy must  have drawn the short straw can you hear the conversation?  King Elijah you bring some of that gold… King Solomon you bring that cologne, and well you King Ralph… grab some of that funeral oil alright?” 

It’s hard to say  if the 8 days and 12 days are completely accurate as maybe both time periods were only 8 days but the christians…especially the Catholics like to make sure  all their religious events last a long time—have you been to an Easter Mass?  Oh and some of us remember when “Black Friday” only lasted one day. 

Well now we have 8 days 3 wise men and 12 days and here’s one more number to ponder.  A very highly respected banking corporation has been tracking the cost of .the collected partridge through drummers line-up.  This year the cost due to inflation has risen about 3% and now would run in the very wealthy neighborhood  of $46,729.86… which means the wise men probably  got off pretty cheap.  

Okay… this is just the first of several…but not twelve  holiday entries… so ho ho hold on to your stockings before hanging them with care… 

More soon 

 http://

All We Are Saying

 Give Peace A Chance 

Whispered softly “oh My Lord”

Must this blood again be poured?

And all the bodies we’ll record

So men can boast of victories scored

Or could we work for peace restored?

And if  extremes won’t be ignored

Grab your pen and drop your sword

Try writing answers on the board

Hopefully Odious Holiday Ode HoHo

Ads for discounts grow and grow

Mouses clicking to and fro

Black Friday’s gone there went our dough

Prepare it’s time for this year’s show

Santa bellows Ho Ho Ho!

the reindeer have the sleigh  in tow

The elves  were spying kids below 

the list has told them where to go

Nice or Naughty we all know

Children’s faces  all a-glow

When they tear off the sparkling bow

Boys play with dolls like G.I. Joe

Peace on Earth? I sure hope so

On This Day In History and some Other Conspiracies

 On this Day In History

Yesterday in the “inbox” of the email associated with this blog and the related podcast there was a link “the wrap for 2023.”  So… of course it had to be clicked and as it happens it was pretty much about the podcast only which is fine, however, as it happens the data used to develop the “wrap”  was only from one viewing source and not the most popular one.  Again, this is okay especially because it ignited the thinking process leading to this post.  

You see the whole thing highlighted  the past year…. What was listened to by most people, where those people  were when they listened (what country—not whether you were caught in a traffic jam somewhere around detroit or in a Walmart parking lot trying to get the “child proof” cap off your antidepressants).   It announced that the pod had an overall increase of 6%—thanks!  Oh and as long as you are being thanked we might as well throw in that adding up the page reads and listens for the two main blogs and the podcast that have been offered over  the past five years now….. the total amount of reads and listens has topped 70,000 which is just a number  about 1000 more than 69,000.   Nonetheless, thanks for using some  of your time paying attention.  

Now for the “History”

So… personally…. I read a couple blogs from time to time and listen to several podcasts regularly  or at least sometimes and that will will wind up in their “wrap” I’m sure.  One of these  has a subject of “this day in history.”  Now ever since I was a kid when there was a considerable  shorter history of some things including this here United States… (when I was in school  the text book was more like a pamphlet— there have been these little calendars that had a history fact on each page giving  a fact about what happened (or was reported to have happened) on that day.  There will be another post or podcast that gives some highlights about particular days, however, no particular day leaps out right now.. not even February 29th.  So what’s impressive?

There are no blank pages!

Think about that for a minute…. 

All year long…every day… something significant  can  and will happen.  Every single day someone woke up … had their energy drink (cocaCola  with real cocaine perhaps  and decided “I’m going to try  to do this just one more time” and BINGO! They’re  on the calendar!  

Well we don’t have to worry about the  calendar or the podcast so much as maybe adopting the mindset that today is the day that we can be part of something significant happening in our lives, in our schools, in our town, or in the drive through of Mcdonald’s .  —and if not today then tomorrow for sure…. 

….and the cool thing is…. When a lot of the things in this “On this day” calendar happened the people involved weren’t thinking—“I’m going to be on a podcast in 2023”… they were likely  just thinking what I”m doing  is something towards this or that purpose  and so they did it.  Oh and sometimes it was just an accident that they noticed  could have a positive impact.  

Now Peace and Joy  on this day in history?

Well first it’s your history or more important  to note all of history was something that happened in the present at that time.  Sometimes the person doing it knew it might be historic like when Armstrong walked on the moon, but there was a lot about that  day or the events leading up to it  that had to happen on some day like the day the Apollo crew had training on how to go to the bathroom in space… after all no one had ever taken a leak on the moon before either so it was one small piddle for man and one giant. Leak for mankind on that day I tell ya… 

So.. to sum up… this is your day in history put something on your calendar!… You make a difference and often. Someone else will benefit

Also will you please remind these “year in review” people that there is a whole month left  in the year and something important will happen every day.

Monday Undercurrents

 It’s the start of a new week.. yet everyday life sometimes like to bury us under some anxiety.. this ost recognizes that.. and encourages  you all to start looking for peaceful moments.  

Blurry vision — weary bones

Swerving through the traffic cones

Fearing radar spying drones

Dodging spam calls on our phones

Reminding us of student loans

Beneath your breath you feel the groans

Comes time to face the great unknowns

In all these real life Twilight Zones

Thanksgiving Primer

Trying to see the Light—Thanksgiving?

So amazon choice gives us an absurdly abundant amount of lighting options for party and holiday lights and this year in this house… there will be lights.  Now… how to decide… ?   We’ve got  your standard soft glow, multi-color, red/green, clear or green wired, sound activated, motion censored, infrared or bluetooth music responsive four, seven, and eight function strings, curtains, and spinning globes.  You can start with 12 or go up to 1200 or more… 

And it’s only a day before Halloween so there’s time to decide right?…. wrong! You see… these lights might remind us that we are heading into the part of the calendar in the U.S. when we celebrate giving thanks and a season of hope and renewal and yep a little giving on the side.  

Oh and is it really ever too early to start being more aware of giving thanks and focusing on hope?   Oh and do we remember that H.O.P.E. stands for Hard work Optimism persistance and Experimentation?  Hope like peace is something you create not something you wait for.  Oh and “Thanksgiving” or gratitude enjoys the reputation of what we can use to change our perspective on gloomy circumstances… so we celebrate that by overeating… oh wait … not stuffing ourself that’s not the point of the day… everyone knows it’s football.  You are thinking surely we jest?   No. Football is a bunch of people in a limited space fighting over small treasures they’d like to take home year after year… so the grid iron is just a metaphor for Black Friday?  

Taking a few minutes to reflect, it seems like thanksgiving gets a little cheated in the decoration department.  For “trick or treat” we have entire families dressing  up and roaming neighborhoods exchanging fun-sized candies—(fun size is a great marketing term—like I always keep a “fun sized amount of cash in my wallet and many politicians seem to have a fun-sized proportion of common sense and ability to identify common goals with about half the other side of the aisle and thus we have a fun-sized amount of effective government?  

Anyway.. I will take a few minutes to look for thanksgiving lights.. however, what exactly should that search look like?  Could we find a ceramic set of misfit Europeans coming to a felt covered shore delivering a stack of bibles and miscellaneous  diseases to some indigenous characters?  Instead of a pine tree should we adorn some “Indian corn” with Hallmark inspired plastic mashed  or sweet potato  clumps hanging from it?   What about a blinking or dancing pilgrim…?  It would be great to see a spinning Mayflower that flashes to the tune of “Thank You for Being a friend” wouldn’t it?  One of the superstores could sell a life-sized “uncle Billy” figure that sits in a recliner and has  a half empty beer can in one hand and when football sounds come from your TV it emits little sayings like “that was holding… these refs need new glasses”  .. or maybe Uncle Billy  could just make belching and other bodily emission sounds?or spew random political insults which could be customized  for which ever party one might choose… and maybe you could get a matched set where one  figure barks out the standard political ramblings from each party and the remarks go back and forth until nobody is listening—-oh wait we already have that it’s called the Washington D.C. at home collection.    

Seriously.. it appears that Halloween and Christmas are sort of squeezing out Thanksgiving these days.  So maybe we can start the Thanksgiving season off by listing  five unique things one might be happy for.  Here’s a “starter” list.

1. Thanks for multi-ply toilet paper.  We’ve all tried single ply… enough said
2. Thanks for all drinks containing caffeine or other stimulants because that’s probably the only reason our GNP (U.S.) is growing  by well over 4% this year not to mention that this year the average American worker is producing 12 times as much as he or she produced in 1950 even though wages for most have not increased proportionately.
3. Thanks for all the digital music options that almost anyone can imagine as that eliminates the need to hang around the backs of grocery stores in order to swipe the requisite number of milk crates needed to store and move vinyl records.
4. Thanks for those new appliances that are connected to each other and to local merchandise providers—like the refrigerators that have an internal camera that tracks what you have inside and can develop a grocery list that can be forwarded to a local store where electronic payments can be made and a “door-dash”  driver can deliver it right to your door because when you only have two Kraft singles left…you just can’t wait until tomorrow?
5. Thanks for all the reminders that come up on our phones.  Everybody needs to know that you only need to use 82 more calories to reach your move goal and that your proctology appointment has been made and you only need to press #4 to confirm… and it is critical to know that “Cheezy feet 29 has posted two new videos of monkeys playing the tuba for a concert hall full of stray cats.

Okay to simplify … let’s start thanking the universe for things early this year and please keep us all posted if you run across an animated mechanical turkey that screams “save us—become a Vegan!”  Peace!

 

Take a Leap

One Last  Leap?

If you are lucky enough to have a “local’ newspaper —we do.. it’s twice a week—it is almost always worth the read—-if you still read—which is also usually worth it.  So  in the most recent “Times/Herald and why after this long they can’t pick one either Times or Herald.. who knows.. but a lot of papers have that same issue like th Star Tribune  etc… Anyway that’s a topic for a different  day..  So in addition to the “local” news there were two notable feature stories from the world at large.    One is/was a seasonal article  about the world record being set for a huge pumpkin.  

Huge Pumpkin the “pies” the limit?  

You see this pumpkin tipped the scales (more like drove them into the dust)  at ,749 pounds which  is like over 1200 kilos  or insanely humongous  in scientific terms.  Now what do you do with this after you get the record?  Now remember that Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater Nursery rhyme. Wher ePeter kept. His wife against his wife in a pumpkin shell?    Or maybe there’s a fairy  Godmother’s used cars where she can get quick access to pumpkins in case there’s an impromptu  ball and Cinderella wants to take the whole crew in the the Party Pumping Pumpkin..  I mean we could have around 1600 pies but these giants aren’t really the right type for pie.. Yet if you made pie we are talking about 75,000 sq. Inches of pie and barrels and barrels of cool whip right?  You’d have a lot of seeds to fry or bake etc or plant and go for  2,750.. good luck.. It’s good to have a dream.. and speaking of dreams..

Take Leap

The other feature story that caught my eye was about a 104 year old lady who broke the record for being the oldest known person to parachute solo.  She died a few days  later, yet holy Moses she understood seeking peace and joy and taking  the leap to live every single day.   

So in the “seeking peace and joy  world the point isn’t  that you have to grow a pumpkin you can’t lift and you don’t have to  jump out of a plane.. you only have to take ten minutes to find a local paper and let your curious brain find inspiration… Trust yourself and you will have your own story guarantee to make someone smile  even if it’s only you… and you are enough   Before the clock strikes midnight.. peace.. 

   Important  Correction  Cunkin was 2749 pounds 749