P&J Network Building Part 1 Walking Backwards

WALKING BACKWARDS

If

The message in the next three  blogs has been brewing in my head (a crowded carnival these days) for about three weeks—which  means it has been  banging around up there for way, way, longer, however, I only heard it start whispering to  me about then and have decided to  attempt to apply  some  voice to it.  

Oh, what  about the if?  I started with an if and let it hang there.  Well that’s because “if” is where this begins.  

If is a magical word, a bit  marvelous and a bit  dangerous all at once.  

You see “If” is a “bridge” word.  Or an indicator word that a door is open far enough  to  see a little  on both sides.  

If says  you can have hope, that  something once not possible may be  possible now, and so it can be  hopeful and yet it invites so ay questionss  

The most confounding of the questions it prompts is  If…. then……?  

So starting  with if you are willing to read the rest of this … you will  see some questions that might  help  you build  a “peace and joy”  network.   

So let’s take a look at this for a minute… If you accept my condition  reading this)  I will offer you questions.    

And thus here is the first question—how many times  do you start  building a friendship or a support network with a pocketful or truckload  of “Ifs?”  Here’s just a few I have trapped myself with from time to time.

“If this person  knows (enter the name  already in your network)  then I will invest time in seeing what they can add to my network and maybe, just maybe,  try  to figure out what I might add to their journey.  Well  I’m guilty of this way  too often.  

and then there is “If this potential  network member DOESN’T  like  what I don’t like then  they  are okay.  So now  you’ve gone and defined someone in the “like me/not like me” systemthat isolates all the other  possible connections that might be made if (did yu notice the if?) thone single  assumption  can be made about a  person who is ultimately far more complex than you might ever imagine.  

So, I could  go on and on with  how “if” is not a good network  starter but

Oh were you looking  for me to finish that sentence?  Well I did.  What? “but is not  the ending of a sentence.  I argue otherwise it is not only the end of a sentence it’s the beginning of  the statement “I’m through listening to you right  now because I think I have a better  idea or a better plan etc…. The  operative  word is  “better because you are  now setting up a comparison not an exploration.  

Imagine  the words you have heard them… I know it… I know you think this will work but….. or  That could be true but… or that’s okay but…”    In short you are hearing “Yes But”  What happens  in your mind/emotins/spirit when you hear  the “but”?  Well  in my mind I see gates closing, doors slamming, lights being turned off, paths being  walled off and feel the end of bridges being built….   So in building your network do you listen for the “but word coming from your  mouth or the mouth of the possible connection?

Well that’s all for today…  Just two words  “if” and “but”— 

Why did I  use the title (walking  backwards?”   When you walk backwards what do you see?  Where  you’ve  been and that is what I’ve tried to say here…. I have  used these words all too often and thus missed a great deal of potential  support and energy from others.  I had to begin this  with a notion that some of the best questions come from walking  backward and asking  what lessons  can I offer based on the path  wwhere I see my footprints.  

Tomorrow or  maybe in a couple days this will be continued with “Standing Still.”  

Have a Fabulous FridayI ok iii

Finding Hay in a Needle Stack

`

When Are Ideas Ready?

Okay  as you may have guessed, this little conceptual ranting is going to be a little on the far side of the moon--where according  to one of our childhood  nursery rhymes the cow jumped over. I've stood outside on many a night and stared upat the moon and while I believe in achievement , that's a pretty tall order  even for some of your  best cows like the ones you see in southern Wisconsin.  Okay back to the  original point.

Finding Peace and Joy is  not always simple.  Circumstances  get "nearly  impossible"  at times.  You know  it's like finding  a needle  in a hay stack... What does  that mean?  Since when, if ever, was a haystack a common place to be  hanging out  with when  we had needles?  Was  it a favorite  hang out for  seamstresses  on the prairie?  Did  from time to time  little  Becky run in  the cabin and  say "Pa? I can't seem to find my needle.  Have  you seen it  around here?"  Then  did Pa reply, "You probably  should go  check the haystacks you know  the ladies  from town were out there quilting  last  night until the cows came home."   I don't  know but we still use the  phrase and some of my midwestern  friends will probably  make the point that I use it from time  to time and they'll throw me under the bus.... Oh and exactly what technique does  one need to  use to throw someone under a bus?  Is it sort of  a two-handed overhead  slam thing or is it more of a side armed underhanded toss?  It seems we should  be throwing people  in front of the bus  because  hitting a small space like that  is a pretty tricky  deal and a moving target  with a  body and all.  I don't know  the trajectory  would be a challenge.

So.. again back to the peace and joy?  I like to write these things early in the morning when  there is not a lot of noise and very little talking, especially  me talking, and yesterday  when I looked  at the page view  count I felt a bit  honored that  people have been reading along--I'm not always proud of my effort... but this isn't always as  #Seth Godin reminded me in his  post the other day "like shooting fish in a barrel."   For as he  inquired "how  do these fish get  into the barrel in the first place— isn't that the tricky part?"   I agree that would be  tricky, however, I also wonder about the whole  shooting part.  What type  of weapon  would  a person use?  If you were  pretty  tall and the barrel were sort of short a bow and arrow  might be the  way to go and then again an arrow might  not do so well in the water.  A aslingshot  might be good so that you  didn’t wind up with a hole in your fish.   Then again a nice hole right through the center might be great because you could put it on a stick and cook it  over a campfire .


 Anyway I’m going to try to wrap this up.  The cool thing is language sometimes gets in the way and yet we have overcome many barriers to teaching our children how to talk and they have taught us how to text . and somehow we get the message across so my message for today is my idea for tomorrow wasn’t quite ready so I gave you this     What you need to know about this is these phrases are a conversation that my brother Don and I talk about occasionally and so if you’ve smiled at all you Owe that smile to him today      By the way what is this elusive topic for tomorrow —building the peace and joy network and it will be a two or three day sort of series that I hope most of you  well enjoy then again I hope you enjoyed today

 Survive the Wednesday weirdness and find some peace and joy come what may Yes we can get

"OR" I've Never Lived This Life Before

I'VE NEVER LIVED THIS LIFE  BEFORE


A request came in  from  three or four
Another  rhyme? At least  One more?
My first instinct was "just ignore"
At being Dr. Seuss I'm poor

Attempting this  would be a chore
Like rowing  'round with just  one oar
Or  sweeping dust from a dirt floor
It may please some  but most will snore

But then I thought "at least explore"

Tho it's not a form  I may adore
Unless you let the ship leave shore
The trips you take  will be a bore


Anyway


What lessons sprouted from this lore?
To peek inside most every door
For no  one knows what's quite in store
We've never lived this life  before


Play  your songs well write your own score


Seek out  your gifts "Make Love not War""
 Another's Hopes try to restore
And  your Peace and Joy  shall simply Soar

Have a Tremendous Tuesday...or whatever  day it is for you .  I want to say thanks to every person  who has been reading along for the last couple months... but I don't know  who you are because  my drones don't have  the ultimate facial recognition  software yet... however in all seriousness... thank you all and please  share this  with anyone who you think might smile  at  it  if only for a second.

Peace (and Joy of course)

Some Days Require Poetry?

The Need of Knowing
Peace & Joy


 The wind it started  blowing
The fangs of winter showing
When the snow  began its snowing
The tension  started  growing and
The stores with their low pricing Weren't  really that enticing
When the wind it came a'slicing
And the roads were slowly icing

Soon the shovel you'll be taking
And a small path you'll be making
As the snow keeps right on flaking
And your back begins its aching
Your spirit starts  its bumming
As  your  fingers start their numbing
So you  need to start  your humming
About how spring will soon be coming

And the sun it will start beaming
You'll hear kids laughs and screaming
Days to come  will feel redeeming
And Peace and Joy will fill  your  Dreaming



Positive  Thoughts to You All who  are experiencing  the storm... outside and in.

ONE SIZE FITS ALL -WELL EXCEPT WHEN IT DOESN'T

ONE SIZE FITS ALL--WELL EXCEPT...

A couple days ago a good friend of mine spent the better part of a day searching for  some "common" items.  I meaning today's world batteries and light ulbs are pretty  common--right?  Yet.. by the time  he returned home his shopping  safari could  hardly be classified  as a success.

Well this little rant  of mine  in support of my friend.   Wise  folks like George Carlin  have already  pointed out that  usually hot doggs come in a package of ten and the buns come in a package of8 or 12.  Why?  no one seems to know.  So why should  we be shocked  that most things that require AAA  batteries require3 of them.  Are  they sold in multiples of 3?  No they are sold in multiples of  two so I guess you  could buy  12  to have 4 replacement sets however, they are rarely on sale in multiples of three packages  either you can often buy eight at a discount.  So you get home replace  the bad set with the three you need and then you have one left or five left and  well if it's one the one goes in your  junk drawer unless you keep a little  box somewhere with the misfit  batteries.  Again, you  have a functioning deviceso it doesn't bother you so much until the next time you go to see how many AAA batteries something takes and discover it takes three.  You dig into the drawer and  you are thrilled to find one and then assume there must be more.  Of course there are  no more  So eventually you go to the store and find that buying for is your  only option  so you do that and  put three in your device leaving two misfits.  Now by the time  three sets of  these things wear out you have no idea how long the  two  in the drawer have been there and so you go buy four and put the third left over in the drawer.  About a year later you go to replace the three AAA batteries again and  confident you have the required  number  you race to the drawer and around through the duct  tape, old keys a few adapter chords and find at last the third  batter.   You flip the switch and  well nothing happens because that first battery  you put in the drawer is now three years old and  if you are a brand loyalist  like many of us.--you have no idea which is the culprit.  So off to the store you go again to start the spiral again.

Now my friend  also spoke of  searching for light bulbs.  At last count  around my apartment we have8 different types  (wattage and  etc). Edison and Tesla would have gone completely mad trying to invent this variety of  bulbs and  well some would argue that wouldn't have been a very long trip for either.  Oh this is not to mention holiday lighting options which maybe we should adopt as a standard.  I realize  that  there are different  lighting needs for different situations however we have mercury lights, halcyon  lights  fluorescent  lights conventional  lights which I think are  consent  bulbs, solar driven, motion-censored,  and that's  not to mention the flashlights that require all different sizes of batteries....but we already went down the battery road.

I'm going to get to the peace and joy part  pretty soon.  I promise.

No two  brands of shoes, jeans, shirts,  or nearly  any other clothing item marked the same size of the tag  fit the same and  here's the one that really  kills me.

"Fun size"candy bars.  Now these are little versions of  my favorites.  I want to meet the  guy who decided to call this size of candy fun size.  I would give him a fun size car to drive and a fun size paycheck send him  to his fun size house etc.  When  he comes into my restaurant I would love  to give him a fun sized 2.3 ounce steak and a oyster sized baked potato... now that would be fun.

Alright  to the peace and joy.  By  now you have had to discover  that  one size never fits all and while society  sort of expects  things to conform00they  simply do not.  Which means you don't have have to either.  I'm not saying that  you don't have to fulfill  a function but I am saying relax  figure  out what size works for you and what function you really want to  be exceptional  atat then be at peace with yourself and be joyful that  day after day the outside world  is trying to show the rest of  us that one size doesn't fit all and packaging is not uniform or convenient.  You have probably  achieved your teenaged dream of wanting to be different  just like everyone else.





So go out  this week and the best you  you can be and be confident  yu have a huge  advantage in being that since you aare the only one.  Seek your  best self but don't  be concerned  about what others think... if you don't fit our life we will  just put  you in the junk drawer for a while  always hoping you will b the perfect  solution someday... and maybe someday  you will!

Have a great week.

COUNTING SHEEP

THE TROUBLE WITH COUNTING SHEEP

So it’s way too late for me to be up tonight or way too early for me  to be up today.  It happens and while I can’t say I am all that happy about it.  There is almost always an idea waiting  over here in the shadows that is going to have my full attention sometime during the day.  The key is to get it in writing before it haunts me and after it is formed well enough to create a space for the reader to think.  Sometimes that is a pretty small space to  fit into.  Oh well.  

People offer me solutions for my sleep “problems” and I often think…”sleep problems?”  I’m awake  thinking of my awake problems…but whatever.  I know people  only suggest what they  do because they care and that is a peaceful feeling—maybe not quite enough peaceful to create sleep, but peaceful nonetheless and I thank  all that are concerned.

That is all except for those who make the all too often "try COUNTING SHEEP"SUGGESTION  Are you bloody kidding me?   If there is one  thing that keeps me awake  at night it is the number of sheep I see  day after  day.  EverywhereI look there are group-s  of people who are wandering around in a herd looking at each other.  Some are  trying to decide who to follow, some are looking around to see who is in front of them and how many  people are  behind them in the flock and hardly any of them are  looking to each other to find leaders.  They  hope for a good shepherd but  may or may not  know what obelisk like.  The sheep follow the rules of the flock and  more importantly keep pretty  close watch on the other sheep to make sure they are following the rules too.

So, in a world that requires  change and innovation at an ever quicker  pace than before the sheep mentality is very disturbing and maybe more so because the whole  flock is often crossing  the path of life  right in the intersection  of Mediocre Lane and Unhappiness boulevard.

How does this happen to people?  I am not quite sure, however here's my theory.  Most  people/sheepwant to part of something so they  feel the importance  of being part of a flock. Most also, however,  do not want to  be the leader out there  taking the lead becauseunline when you  are one of the herd there are no footsteps to  follow.   To stay in the flock the sheep has to keep constant vigil  on the other sheep to make sure  they are  in the middle of things or  moving toward the front as to not be left behind.  It is a constant  unending gameofcomparingonerself to others.

Now some of the sheep (usually the black ones) just can't ever feel at home in the flock.   Why?  Well like  most the other sheep they  have a question that won't go away.  "what makes me unique?"  Aren't I supposed  to be out there exploring what my  particular  and unique set of skills makes me  thefts sheepI can be nomatterwhat these other sheep  think? As in the  sort of famous far side cartoon the black sheep  sometimes wants to  standoff hind legs and shout "wait a minute don't have be sheep."

So wrapping this  back to the  whole idea of peace and joy..I truly believe  no sheep can ever really be at peace until they ask themselves what is unique  about them and is herd  the place to off these special  gifts?  I don't believe each sheep cannot find joy in comparing themselves to others in the herd day after day.

So please don't  suggest I count sheep... there are way too many  and every time I think of counting them I cannot  help but wonder "what do sheep count when they  can't fall asleep?"

Well I think I got all these thoughts down and feel a crtasin peace about it so I'm going  back to sleep for a while SWEET DREAMS. 

Peace and Joy & Being a Super Hero

SAME BAT TIME.....

 Okay I am pretty sure I have used the Bat Mobile in this blog before... and if that really  annoys  you I am sorry.  However what I want  to talk  about today is how you can bbe a superhero.   Plus some added points I wanted to make.

So the  lines came out from the speaker on the old Zenith... "same bat time..same bat channel and as a kid you knew something that was priceless.  No matter  how rotten  your day had been or would be tomorrow.... the dynamic duo would be back to work making things safer for the city and the world.  That's  security.  You also knew that there were kids all over town and maybe the universe  that were in this with you.  They would be tuning in at the same....

Well this is pretty important to  kid.  You also  had the chance  to see all kinds of circumstances happen and yet in the end an opportunity revealed itself and circumstances reversed enough for the  dynamic duo to survive and eventually win out.  That's a pretty good  moral of the story...that things change and yet their will be an option that is probably  going to work out.

I also learned that  I could dawn my cape and reach out to a friend on a regular  basis... It may  not be the exact same time or exactly  channel...it  might  just be a smiley  icon on messenger...but at least  someone knew  they were being  thought about right about then.  So you can be a superhero too.  You can give someone a sense of security and safety just by saying hello at the same bat time and on the same bat social media platform.

Okay I have taken this  far  enough, however, anytime  you can sneak in a picture of a car that had all those cool gadgets and shot flames out of the back into  a life lesson it's going be  a good day.

Maybe  next time we will  delve  into the depth of  examining  inner feelings and personality...after all aren't you dying to sk  Scooby Dooby Doo  where are you?

Have a great day and I'll see you again...when...well tune in tomorrow at the same bat time and to the same  bat channel.  

Sometimes peace and joy just takes a little horse sense

SOMETIMES PEACE AND JOY IS JUST GOOD  HORSE SENSE

So today’s post isn’t going to be very long for a couple reasons.  First, I have a lot of  things to “work” on  this morning and need to do some follow up things from yesterday.  You know life has a flow and sometimes  you just need to  get in synch with it if possible.  

Well here goes..”in no particular order.”  That phrase always  intrigues  me a bit.  For the words that follow it come out in a particular  order.   The next sentence is  not usually something  like  House the  into ran fast could as Sally.  You see there is a particular order to most thoughts and words.  Lately, I have been thinking  about my rambling style and have  decided  to clean it up a bit for the reader’s sake (but not too much).  

Okay getting to the two points here.  I read this quote yesterday and put it on Facebook with a photo.  It’s Mark Twain’s  quote but I like it a whole  lot because I have said a few things lately that haven’t  rolled  that smoothly off my tongue.  

“The difference between almost using the right word and using the right words only  the difference  between a lightening  bee and a lightening bolt.”  

Next I say a picture of a friend with some Clydesdale horses.   \Now these are magnificent  animals, impressive  it seems in size, choice of corporate beer to be associated with, and  a reminder that big can be beautiful.   Anyway  this picture reminded me of  a saying that a professor of mine once used when I asked  about his unwillingness to fight a committee decision.  He sai …”Well Jim  it’s a funny thing about  committees…they are kind of like  horses.  They are almost impossible to push so it’s better to lead them if you can.  However sometimes  you get further if you ride the horse the way it’s running.”  

well sometimes we would like  our lives to be different from what they are and sometimes we know that if we could get beyond just one horses \\ rear end so to speak, things would improve. Well maybe you can use the horse sense offered above.  try to lead ornever be afraid to take a chance on riding the horse the way it is running.  From time to time there is more peace and joy somewhere  down the dusty trail… which is where I need to get my day headed.

Thank each and everyone of you for reading loyally and if your aren’t reading loyally pass this link on  to someone  who might  enjoy it or if  you don’t like them so much pass it along to someone  who  you like to irritate.  Either way have a terrific Tuesday and  THANKS TO EACH  OF YOU  READING THIS. 

Giddy-up Yippee Ky A .

The Sound of Silence

THE LOUD SILENCE

Most adults attend  a lot of meetings on a regular basis.  In nearly  all “repeating meetings there are a few folks  missing from time to time.  Whether  we think about it or not this creates a  shift  in the group dynamic and while some folks will say the same things  they have been saying for  years, some people  will grow silent because one  of their allies is missing.  

So, a couple of years ago I started to listen for the silence.  That is … what isn’t being said in meetings…what we are afraid to talk about and the level of anxiety  being  both avoided and enhanced by the silence.  

On a personal basis I try to ask myself “what would I say if I felt exactly the opposite of this on this topic?”   That’s how I sometimes find  a bridgett a reasonable conversation.  Sometimes I can’t bring myself to ask that… but I’m trying  harder to do so.  

It really seems that if we are to find peace and joy in the group setting, it might be time to  ask what is it I’m not hearing?  /who am I not hearing from, and most importantly  how loud is the silence whena decision  is made.  Joyful decisions are  often made with a lot of noise and peaceful decisions usually come over time.  

Are we listening for the  chimes of peace and joy

Finding your tribe but not losing sight of things beyond

SEEING BEYOND CREATING PEACE AND JOY

What to the letters below spell?

N O R M A L

Well you probably  figured  that one out pretty  quick right?

These  letters spell 

Moral

Ram

Am 

Nor

Or

Oral

Loan

……and ON and a few more

Oh you thought  I meant what?  If you used all the letters right in a row?  Well sometimes life  gives you  a lot of parts that  line up one  way one time and  yet  you can make choices  to hep yourself or someone else by taking those things and lining them up in a different  way right?  

Also  what if i  had added an S  after the L above?  Would  you  have  imagined I was  talking about some group of people who fall somewhere  in the center of the spectrum of our  agreed  upon culture?  …well maybe..and look at  how many more words  the letters could spell then!

Like 

SOAR  which is what we all can do if we avoid the  trap of thinking all the letters had to belong to one and only one word.  Unfortunately we do it all the time  with religion,gender, disability, politics, wealth… and all kinds of other dualistic notions that there is  somehow a unified them and us.  Yes we have tribes who share some of our values and other  characteristics… but if I  had asked  you to identify the “best word”  in the list made up from the  letters… I doubt  there would be widespread agreement.  However, I felt no need to ask and felt no need to  compare —because  as http://www.sethsblog.com (I think that’s where  you find Seth Godin’s  blog) reminds us when we do tribal comparisons we tend to  compare the best in our tribe with the worst of the other tribe.  In the end this highlights divisions and  keeps us from seeing beyond  our current notions and pretty much  makes it  rare that we  value the differences that  could be combined to make more positive  things possible.

Well summing this all up…let your mind go beyond the expected or “normal” so  to speak and maybe you can discover  new combinations that bring  all types of  peace and joy.

Happy Valentine’s Day imagine this

 No I’m putting this video in all of my blogs today because imagine on a Valentine’s Day when everyone had a chance to participate in the big beautiful world out there all our brothers and sisters having a chance to lead full and productive lives that would be something that would be great and bring much peace and joy have a great day

Acceptance is not surrender

ACCEPTANCE IS NOT SURRENDER— It is recognition of CHANGE 

Well… for  most of my adult life… i felt acceptance  was the same as surrender  and to  be quite honest  that  often  turned  me into “A Rebel Without A “PAUSE”  I didn’t  listen  very well to the universe  and didn’t  quite frankly really understand either  grace or any other  sort of inner light.   What i understood was that  if I were true to my purpose and my purpose  was to enhance  the world somehow.. then  I should never  accept anything that moved me from my  chosen path.  (Notice I said “my”  chosen path)..

Well a few years back I finally  ran into a wall enough times and hard enough that my  view started to shift a little…. and thanks  to the words  of a  song penned by my friend Mac  and some words  I added because they fell into line, I put together this song.  

Well just because  you sing something doesn’t mean you learned it….with the possible exception of the alphabet song.  So it was this , and until a few  months ago it started to dawn upon me what the song was trying to teach me.

Life will change.  You can keep some things in some places for a little  while, but  you will eventually  be asked to accept that things have changed and you can keep your passion but you may have to use different tools and take different avenues than you  ever imagined.  There will be times when you are not quite sure  how or if you fit in your own life  at a given moment and that is  hard.  However, if you can understand  that there are new paths you  were meant to explore and  can do so with some  curiosity and hope…. things will be okay and you will be accepting  but not surrendering.  

So today I  am posting this idea of acceptance is not  giving up it is changing to stay connected  with  your dream or purpose.  

Anyway Thanks Mac …so many  years  ago for letting me  steal the best lines of your song and add  some that I needed.  Now I am sharing  this with  you folks  so that your  path to  peace and joy is a little  smoother if that’s what the  universe intended… otherwise know  that from time to  time life is just that way.

Compared to what?

COMPARED TO WHAT?

Well… I’m taking some time  this week  to work on  this song.  Big shock right?  Well it is another  effort  that  is growing from the seeds of the lyrics  provided by my brother and it sort of is designed to bring back memories of a simpler time.  

I suppose there was a simpler time and I suppose there were some more complicated times than right now too.  For example, during some of the  great world epidemics those had to be pretty complicated times and pretty scary.  

Anyway thinking about the past and  the future I wandered down the path of wondering “have  i already  had the best day of my life?  Well hell I didn’t keep a chart.  Like I know  I remember some  good things that happened on certain days.   However,  what happened five Tuesdays ago compared to what might happen four  Saturdays from now?  Really?  Why did i ask myself that question about  my best days ever?  

What I think is we have a  need to sort things out and compare them  to each other.  Seth Godin or #sethgodin for those who want to get some good info quickly talks about this sorting process and so do many  social observers.  They seem to be  on target when they observe we as creatures display  an need to do this and yet it may  not be that useful.  

Now i took this sorting idea and this comparison idea  and started  rolling it around  in my head.  Some questions  emerged.

Like… When the Fifth Symphony  came out were there people in the street saying  “Oh you think that opera we saw last week was good?  You should hear  this new symphony…the fifth I think… so what  was wrong with the fourth?  And when  that symphony went to the top of the  charts—what was at number two?  Did the composer of that spend the rest of their  life wondering about their self worth because they never topped that one?  Or instead  did they say to themselves….”wow that’s the best thing I’ve ever done and I am glad so many  people enjoy it?  

I guess what I’m  getting at is how much time to we worry about becoming  the bestow better at something that we  might enjoy greatly, however,  because we  compare our  effort to someone else we kill all the peace of joy the heck out of that activity?  How many seeds  do we leave unplanted because we are afraid the trees they might  grow won’t be the tallest or provide the best fruit.  What if they weren’t supposed to be the trees that provided fruit but the trees that were easier for kids to climb and  they provided great shade  for  picnics… but we were thinking fruit so we didn’t plant the seed?  

In the end  I will make you all a deal.  If you  can believe that  what i’m doing is  to make myself  better…but no better  than you… I will do the same and thence might be able to help each other  find  peace and joy in  our own growth.  

Have I had the best day of my life?  Not yet…but I’m working on it LOL….

Be kind to yourselves, be critical of yourselves…tha’s your call but don’t  use me as a yard stick or thermometer.

and get out  there and plant  some seeds today!

When a chair is not just a place to sit

IF IT’S NOT BROKE—DON’T FIX IT AND IF IT IS BROKE DON’T JUST FIX IT ENJOY IT By the end of Saturday-mixed with the beginning with Sunday my little corner of the universe was in ‘disrepair. “my Chair”—I don’t know how mediaeval this tradition is that a male adopts a chair in the cave/house/apartment and it is “his”…but it has happened in all of my lifetime and as far as I can tell it has been happening since cave dwellers selected that there big rock in the corner because there was a little rock to prop his feet up on nearby. Well, by the end of Saturday my chair was broken. It is one of these glider-rockers and kind of a minimal design which I like. Well. without sharing all the details one of the mechanisms that rely on a couple screws staying in place so that a roller thing stays in a hole hidden from view had finally worn out their screw holes and come loose thus, releasing the tension and letting the roller fall out of its appointed spot. Now I didn’t write all of this to explain chair engeneering so I’ll get to the point on that. I don’t see anyway in the world that the people who designed this couldn't predict this would happen eventually and the chair would “break.” Here’s what they didn’t imagine. They didn’t imagine that a blind guy would take an hour to figure out the mechanism and then have his daughter come into the project. They didn’t expect that sam daughter to figure out what the dad was talking about so quickly and they didn’t expect the daughter to have “tiny” hands. Now are they a little smaller than usual? Maybe, but for sewing in delicate spaces and fixing chairs that have been poorly designed they are just the right size. So at one point in the night we had fixed the chair the way it was designed. Now that was a mighty proud moment for a dad. Of course, the unknown source of the screw problem wasn't evident until I used the chair again and the screw fell out or a hole that was completely worn away so that it would not hold the screw in place no matter how cleverly we had managedto fix it.… But the repair had been completed insofar as we did it in the manner they intended and that was a great source of joy. Well…sort of—you see while moving the chair I accidentally knocked one of my guitars over and just in the perfect angle that broke apart it essentially the same what that It had broken about 5 months ago. So here it was ..Saturday night and my chair and my “songwriting” guitar were both broken and I had already decided I was far beyond my “complaining” time for that day… so I sat with the guitar pieces and glued away. Will it work? i believe it will..but like the chair it may be done…however. I don’t believe either is beyond repair. and here’s the peace and joy part. It may be that neither my chair or this good old guitar ever gets back itoriginal sound or function, it’s ok…. the joy has been in the effort. Sure you are going to have to throw outra few things in your life like our popcorn maker that randomly pops the top off spewing popcorn all over the kitchen like some type of Orville Redenbacher (sp) volcano. . but other things we might just be throwing away and with them a chance to learn with them. As an added bonus… if you decide to fix things…you have a justification for an expanded”junk drawer” because there are tow maintops of things in most junk drawers. the first is a group of objects that can only fix a particular thing and “maybe you'll have one of those again and then wow you had just what it took. Or the second type of thing that gets into the junk drawer —bits and pieces of materials that can fix about anything(duct tape, paper clips, the bread ties if you remember to throw them in if you hit the bottom of a loaf… and a crazy assortment keys.. from locks you might still have—-maybe. Oaky time to finish this up. i’ll write a whole post on my junk drawer someday…but for today there was a great joy in having my daughter work on the chair and fix it… There was a mechanize design flaw…. but she figured out a good solution. And as far as the guitar goes? Well if you worship a deity that has the power to bind”elmer’s” glue then give a few hail mary’s .. Either way life is good ..I have a chair that I will eventuallyfix or scrap (you know stuff for the junk drawer. but what will never change is my memory of how my daughter jumped in and fixed that chair..because even if it ends up being mostly a piece of firewood, the memory will always be perfect and that my friends is the source of Peace and Joy.. I will take forward. Have a great Monday…

Experimenting with new choices

CHOOSE A TIME AND PICK A TARGET

So who has absolutely nothing  to complain about?  Raise your  hand please…….. 

Oh yes… I know  I can’t see your hands unless this was Skype or YouTube Live….and since I’m  not so good at  seeing anyway  if you raised  your hand you are likely  just proving one of three things.  1. You don’t wear deodorant and their  are some reasons  why some people don’t  so don’t  get all judgmental—2. you wear deodorant —or  you are just showing off.  

The reality is that  everybody probably  has  something to  complain about.  

However—yes you can put  your  hands down—if you have a thing or two  that gets under your skin either  daily or  have a lot of little irritations (that’s me)—You know like how it takes  both hands to apply a band-aid but when you are applying  one to someplace  on one of your  hands you really only have one hand  to do it with…  

Okay  enough of this…here’s my  point.  A couple of days ago I noticed that I complained  about the same thing to  three people.  Now they listened politely and  provided empathy but none of them were the root of the complaint and I knew from the start none of them could create a solution.  IJUST WANTED TOCOMPLAIN.  some may call that venting and sometimes it is…bhowever when it’s three times  in the same day… perhaps you’re just saying I’m a negative person today?   

So now raise  your hand if you like to be around negative persons all day?  Not many hands I see…

So  here’s my “peace and joy” experiment.

From now on I’m going to pick a time in the day when I stop complaining completely…. and I’m going to “vent” to no more than two people about any given thing because they probably feel like targets whether that’s what  you intended.  

Yep.. I think that is an experiment worth  doing… and if you are going to give me something to complain about please make sure you offend me during the specified  complaining time for that day.  Also please feel free to ask—“are  you sure I’m eh right target for  this particular complaint?”  After all, I don’t  want to waste  one of my two venting on the wrong target.  

Yes there is a note of sarcasm there…but I’m serious about  setting a time  on the clock and promising  your tribe you are not going to complain after the appointed hour… and then try to pick the target of your complaining to a person who  might help  you think more about solutions than cheering along with your  reason for complaining…but most of all limit the times  you tell the story because then the complaint  is no longer  the  thing that gets remembered… it is that  YOU  get remembered as the one who complains about (insert a topic)  all the time.  

anyway before   you start complaining that I have rambled  on longer than needed.  My Complain cut off time today is 3:30 this afternoon Eastern Standard Time.  

and you are not one of my targets…but if you want to be placed  on the  target list for a date in the near future let me know….because  your business is important to us and  due to  unusually high call volume  your wait  time could be extended.