Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Some reflections on sunlight and reflections on reflections?

LETTING LIGHT SHINE FROMDIFFERENTPERSPECTIVES


The Earth has nearly rotated around once more and this side of it will be facing the sun.  We  call this sunrise although the sun is pretty much staying in the same place (I hope). 
Then the sun moves across the sky—again the sun isn’t  really doing that either.  Finally there will be sunset which has nothing to do with  the sun moving.  

It is a great thing to be able to observe a great sunrise and start a new day and it is awesome to feel the  heat on your skin for the first time each Spring when the  sun finally provides enough warmth to  thaw away winter.  ...And sunsets wow they can be remarkable.  Yet here’s the deal—the sun is not moving we are.  The light and heat come from different. Perspectives during the course of a day and we  enjoy each new perspective.  

Then there is a beautiful moonlit night.  Except the moon doesn’t light anything.  The moon reflects the light  sent forth by the sun so we can enjoy it just a little more.  What a concept this idea of making sure you reflect the best in others out to the world so  this can be enjoyed a little more.  The sun and  moon work together to add something to  our lives—yet they  are very  different objects.  Maybe our leaders could learn a little from  staring at the moon?
I can’t help but wonder if we could  look at the ideas of people in the same way?  Couldn’t the ideas of others be a small light of wisdom that we are able to experience?  You know, a little light from a different perspective?  Now are we going to  like all these ideas and perspectives?  I don’t think so.  On the other hand, who knows?  If we could look at ideas as  different positions of the sun maybe we could  learn a bit more and understand that  a perspective that seems fixed is likely to shift soon.

I suspect what I’m trying. To say is you don’t. Have to like the perspective of others,however, they (like the sun) may reveal  something that touches  you inside and allows you to grow.  

Well that’s enough for this  morning.  It is about time to witness another world spin.

Have a super spin!I’m 

Thursday, July 25, 2019

Thank you Thursday thanks for learning lessons

THANK YOU THURSDAY —ON LESSONS

You ever try to start a tradition?  I want to make EVERY Thursday— “thank you” Thursday, however it seems either I have to speed up my writing schedule or slow down time.  Guess which I’m thinking I might have more success with?

Anyway, of all the things that bring me joy, I think learning might be right at the top (or near )the top of the list.  
Over the years, I have often commented about my Catholic school education.  I believe I’ll dedicate an entire  week to that soon.  I’ll say only this...the nuns were  both kind and brutally dedicated to their  teaching and students.  I only wish they might have been required to announce on any given day which tactic they were planning on implementing. 

That being said, I have learned  so much from  so many and the lessons have finally started to make sense in a way that is  becoming  very useful.  In fact I wrote a song about it—big shock right.  Since I’m on a train I don’t know if I can load it up, but I ythought I’d share the lyrics and then pull up the song/video later today or tomorrow.

Here’s the lessons I am thankful for and wonder what lessons you may be thankful for?



LESSONS
 I’ve learned great lessons from professors and books
Graceful half-drunken women and burned out fry cooks
I thought it was time that I passed them along
So I sat up one night and I wrote down this song—here itgoes

Well the wiser I get the more that I’ve found
Your body just carries your spirit around
And there’s a new circus around every turn
The best  you can do is pay attention and learn
And pass all these lessons to the next passers by
Try to enjoy life and understand why
But if why eludes you don’t wallow in frets
Don’t let let your butterfly wings get weighed down with regrets

Chorus 

And breathe and stretch, and dance your own dance
And laugh and smile when life gives you the chance

You’ll rarely  finish but you’ll often restart
Take your brain with you, but follow your heart
Don’t compromise on the things you might change
Understand normal but celebrate strange
Don’t chase the chaos, nor worship control
But run it full throttle when you’re on a roll and...
Chorus


I’ve heard sermons in bar rooms  and in churches learned shoulds
But some of the best prayers I’ve ever heard were whispered in woods 
And don’t be afraid to believe in forever
But be careful with words like always and never
Don’t shake your fist in the mirror when your patience  wears thin
Every dream has its time 
Don’t let apathy win 
Chorus

You’ll try to help many 
but You can’t walk in their place
And you can’t fight their demons
Especially ones they won’t face.

These are my lessons nearly all that I know
But if you learn half of these then you’ll find your glow
and once you find this well you will go far
To sum it all up you’ll become. Who  YOU are and you’ll know how to....
Chorus

Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Peace and joy What do you really know about your honey?

PEACE AND JOY—HOW MUCH DO YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR HONEY?

No, this isn’t one of those pop culture surveys found in People Magazine...It’s not a Sunday feature in Parade—it’s really about honey.  

today I used about 3 tablespoons of real raw honey.  I used one for my cereal.  I spooned some on a couple slices of toast.  The third? I didn’t put it on anything on purpose.Somehow a little found itself on the counter.  Some found its way to a spot on the sink. A dab wound up on the left side of my t-shirt.  Finally, alittle spec somehow made it to the bottom of the arm of my rocking chair.  

However, as irritating as this can be I manage the same thing with pancake syrup from time to time and it is not nearly as healthy, not as amazing.  

Now just before I mention all the amazing. Things about honey and the creatures. That create it I want to  file a cautionary note.

I was okay when  they made Honey Comb cereal because it was only in the shape of  the honey comb.  they didn’t pretend to be real honey bits etc.  Then we started  going a little  overboard.  There is “honey’ Nut Cheerios I have never found them to taste like honey or found any nuts in them.  If they indeed contain honey it must be like 7 drops per every 413 pounds of the stuff.  Then we have “Honey” Bunches of Oats—neither honey nor Oats are measured by the “bunch”. bananas, grapes, and the Bradys— they can lay claim to the “bunch” designation but not cereal.  If you put honey on a slice of bread would it become a bunch of bread?  if you drizzled some on a pan of rolls would it become a bunch and  of course we bake some ham with honey but we don’t call it “Honey Bunches of Hog.”  


Okay back to the  realities of honey and some things  you should know.  

Honey sealed in an air tight  container will never spoil.  Honey  recovered from ancient times that remained sealed was deemed  completely  healthy and unimpacted by 3000 years of human history.  
A single hive of bees can produce  about 100 pounds of honey per year which is about enough for 3.2 billion boxes of. Honey Nut Cheerios —just kidding I made that up. But it could be true.  
Here are some things. That are true.  

So if you are not impressed by the amount of honey consider this.  To produce 1 pound of honey bees must collect nectar from about 2 million flowers and fly approximately 55,000 miles.  So we’re talking a lifetime’s amount of work for about 800 bees.  

Honey is good medicine.  It is both antiseptic (can seal a cut etc and antibiotic—germs won’t grow in it.  Not all bees make honey.  There are about 20,000 types of bees  on the planet, however, only about  7 are known to  make honey.  So if you think you have some lazy relatives or coworkers think about these bees that are taking credit for this good stuff and so few of them are doing all the work!  
Bees have been making  honey for about  100 million years and some wasps  make a little honey due to somewhat common genetics.  
Finally even if you don’t like honey—you’d better respect the honey making process.  As bees fly around gathering up this and that, they pollenate other plants and are responsible for helping grow about 1/3 (yes 33%) of all the food we eat.  
So to sum up let’s stop  disrespecting honey by. Saying  something has it when it doesn’t really.  BTW I had some Honey Nut. Frosted Flakes the other day (Tony the tiger  sold out?  Not  Grrrrr ate.

Bees work hard to bring us this remarkable  substance and  the process is important because it makes the  whole plant kingdom better.

I wonder if  humans thought a little more about. Process and the benefits  of working hard on process they  would improve the world in a similar way?  I don’t know but the effort might  create a very positive buzz.

Yep 

Monday, July 22, 2019

Struggling with perfection imposter syndrome wondering about progression this is my musical thinking about the topic Ok

THE PERFECTION PROGRESSION INTERSECTION DIRECTION QUESTION
Some  thoughts is a song

For a few months now  IU’ve been observing (sometimes myself and) others contemplating life decisions and it seems the choice often comes down to a battle  bretween seeking desired outcomes as if they are destination or guideposts on some quest that has a far less clear ending.  This  musical offering is  more or less the summation of my thinking.  It’s my answer, but take into account Ihave a fairly high tolerance for ambiguity.  In the end this is my confession that what the song represents is my self-conclusion and believe me when I say we all have the right to choose  how to move from the progression perfection intersection.  

I offer. This only as a single perspective on a spectrum of choices that makes life such a grand adventure.  Hey I’m 

Saturday, July 20, 2019

Progression regression the gression peace and joy and a few other ideas about resistance and habits

PEACE AND JOY A CONFESSION OF PROGRESSION,REGRESSION, AND DIGRESSION

So in my last entry I offered. A little rhyme about. Perfection and progression.  My intention was to write  a little song to share about those things. And make that this. Next. Post.  Well, as often happens in life, some other stuff happened.  I could  provide. All the details and say “here you judge whether I made the right. Choice putting off my song”, however would that change what I did or am likely to do...honestly....not likely at all.  Hence I’m just going to  ask you to trust  me on this.  The song will be more meaningful by tomorrow than it would have been today.  

That brings me to the  target message from my soul for today.  In a nutshell (by the way have you ever tried to keep anything in a nutshell?  Do you know anywhere they sell the same fabulous  nutshell storage  containers?  If so do they sell a universal sized. Lid unlike Tupperware where each container has a uniquely sized disappearing lid?  Well that’s a topic for a different. Day.  

This morning I liste3ned to a book suggested to a friend of mine by a friend of theirs.  It was a “good” book about how people “resist happiness” (hint that might be. The title of the book or something  very close to it.  NowI’m not sold on  all the concepts in the book, however, it provided. Some insights on resistance that I had never really  considered for a long time.  It helped me  feel my way through some  circumstances and realize some differences a between  when I am digressing in order to learn or build something of a new foundation or just plain regressing out of fear of “losing control” or “failing in the eyes of someone else.   

It talked about  the principles of living in the  here and now and still being able to honor delayed gratification.  That is something I struggle with on occasion so I found  a peaceful way to think and feel about that and in a word that was  pretty cool.  

Like about  a dozen things I have read lately it highlighted the importance of  habits in the battle against resistance.  So upon finishing my walk and the book  at the nd of my walk—I said to myself—
Self, what is one way to combine the idea of progression with the ideas of battling resistance.  Here’s is what happened.

I need to drink less sugar and more water so upon returning from my walk I looked over the counter for. Any of my favorite cups to swee if I could fill it with water instead of cola.  Then it struck me—no, not the cupboard door  because I didn’t realize I had left it open—that maybe just maybe I was  better served by starting a bizarre.however different  drinking habit first thing this morning.  I fumbled through the  cupboard and found a wine. Glasss, put four. Ice cubes in it and drank. Three glasses of water.  I felt really good about this.  So tomorrow I’ll do the same and pretty soon I suspect Iwon’t miss the  soda pop first thing.  By using this special  glass, I made it clear to the forces of resistance  inside that I was here to battle and win by treating myself to this  special  glass.  Will it work?  I think so because I  think of the first miracle where Jesus. Turned  water into wine and so I’m going to turn water into health.  
By the way I have seen several religions debating whether  Jesus actually turned the wate into “nonalcholic” wine which just makes me chuckle.  

Okay enough. Rambling—here are the takeaways—I owe both. Of my friends a thanks for  introducing me to the ideas in the book I listened to.  Second digression  can be valuable if it is in the spirit of experimental change.  Celebrate. A change. With a symbol (a wine glass if  that works.  Battle resistance even if sometimes  it wins.  Oh and  humans can find anything  to argue about in  a religious  context.  I believe. It was real alcoholic wine and  it taste3d great  versus  being less filling.


Peace and Joy. Be With. You Today

Thursday, July 18, 2019

Perfection versus progression in seeking peace and joy




PEACE AND JOY
PROGRESAAION NOT  PERFECTION



PERFECTION

Perfection is a target that often others set
It’s a place you will be happy if you ever get
It chews upon ones soul with  daily deficit frustrations
And your  journeys aren’t adventures  they are just thwarted destinations

Perfection is not experiment it’s  a chain upon a rigid goal
It mandates constant focus  and disciplined  control
It ignores joyful distractions and assumes  no change of heart
Until you reach the finish no matter where  you start...

Progression

Progression assumes that you can change and become who you’re meant to be
It assumes. You’ll move from  where you are to see what. You might see
And listen to your inner light and  take some steps that way
While you pay  frequent  attention to the joy in every day

When you fall down that’s not failure—just a lesson you might learn
It  let’s. You know to look around you may wish to  make a small left turn
It understands that everyday you might have to start again 
Makes no demand on happiness being only if and when

Yprogression seeks a goal a destination if you will

It whispers “whistle while you work” and in small steps  get a thrill
It shouts check your spirit daily and let that be your guide
To gaining peace  and joy and the treasures  held inside.

for Progression is a growing thing  while perfection is an ending spot
Progressioncan bring  joy each day perfection well —most likely  not
Often  only others can affirm that you  are perfect now
They can’t tell why  it’s important but they tell you what to do and how
Progress is a promise  to move ahead you. Make within
There. Are dreams and treasures. You will find  that you can’t see when you begin

Oh would I love to find perfection?
Sure most. Humans would
But I’m shooting for Progression
And  I feel my chances are quite good

If I learn and change a bit with each passingday

I’ll wind up just right where I should

Sunday, July 14, 2019

Peace joy and the power of negative thinking

PEACE, JOY, & THE POWER OF NEGATIVE THINKING 

We are flooded with “the power of positive thinking and positive psychology” these days.  Generally, I agree with most of  this type of thinking because it leads to creativity and expansion of possible solutions to the perplexing problems of daily life.  

On the other hand there is this thing called “balance” and there is a use for “negative” thinking when exercised in a productive way.  

How does  one do this you ask?  Well since it’s Sunday and  I can never get too serious on Sunday I have this little rhyme to suggest when negative thinking is just okay.  

The Power of  Negative Thinking

Always saying yes to everything well that is not okay
And following the crowd is a  “no” when your values aren’t that way
Sometimes you must say nada to your fears of yesterday 
And sometimes leave a stone unturned when you’ve had enough today

You have to cheer for cloudy skies for there’s a purpose for the rain
Sometimes  you say no thanks to the pills and  learn to understand  your pain
Sometimes you  should stay quiet when you would love to complain

And sometimess say no way to rushing and just catch the next train

Some times  you need to stand. And say I do not agree
What you’re selling I’m not buying so please. Just let me be
Sometimes you just must leave a fight when no learning can take place
Many times refusing requires lots of grace
To sum up there will be some times when you’ve got to stop the flow
Put some some of your  burdens down and  let your ego go

You simply can’t let every.weed in. Your garden growIn short say  yes a lot but now and then peace and joy means no

Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Nothing like a great train song

There’s Nothing Like a Good Train Song

...and that’s exactly what this is —nothing like a great train. Song—

So tomorrow morning I’ll bet boarding a train  and heading  to see family and friends  in Iowa.  You.know Iowa that famous place in the Field of Dreams movie - The place where  the question is asked “Is this Heaven?”  And the  reply is..”no, it’s Iowa.  Well not knowing much of heaven personally I can only suggest that there’s a tangential  resemblance at best.  There is a lot of corn, soy beans, and pork.  There are a lot of. Railroad tracks too.  Fun fact—The first  wild  west train robbery happened in Western Iowa not somewhere in big sky country and the farthest West you could get by train was Iowa City from 1850 until 1855 which. When you think about it weasn’t all that long ago. 

Okay...I’m taking the train into Chicago and  going out from there and while I’m in Iowa I don’t know how often I’ll be inspired to.blog...maybe a lot maybe not at all so  check back  in a few days.

Now...for this train song.  I don’t cross the streams very often between  certain parts. Of my life and other parts, however,  this will be one of those times.  I am sort of transitioning away from my days as a disability rights person  (although a freedom of choice person is something I’ll always. Be) and moving toward a —well writer/self-driving  vehicle promoter/who knows.  However, one of my first disability rights  song parody efforts was a train song... and since. I’m about to spend  several hours on the train...well  here you go... 


More (in the not too distant future).  Enjoy

Monday, July 8, 2019

Aging gracefully Helmo a birthday salute to peace and joy

FINDING PEACE AND JOY ON YOUR BIRTHDAY

Well you see I was thinking about having this big celebration and then I stopped for a moment remembering that  the application for a public bon fire wasn’t completed and that means no cake.  So instead I figured I splash out a few  more ideas about the peace and joy of aging instead.  


First You don’t need to worry about  style.  One day you will realize that your favorite t shirt is older than  anyone else in the room.   No not any other T-shirt, any other person.  You don’t have to change hair styles—your hair will change on its own all you have to do is figure out. How to alter it slightly or. Find a lot of  good hats.  When people talk about their tablet—it has nothing to do with religion, Moses etc.  
There’s  no need to buy Rice Krispys —If you want to hear. Snap crackle, pop just listen as you roll out of bed in the morning.  Instead of worrying about. How long it is till you can drink in the bars you can start. Checking out the “senior” dsisaxcounts.  

Seriously, yesterday I wrote about a couple of college experiences and  a couple folks suggested that it  might be great if we. Could go back.  Life, my friends is not a Hansel and Grettle sort of thing.  It’s always moving forward at exactly the right speed (well except when you can’t really wait for the next rest stop).  

I would have had to learn everything I’ve learned to date to deal with this year and am glad I have had those experiences.  

So what this is all leading. Up to is this  little birthday poem for all of us  hanging right around 60.


On Turning 60

Today I turn 60 that 10 times a six
If I could go back. Would there be things I’d fizz?
I might think about it  but time won’t reverse
And  who knows I might wined up in. A place that’s much worse.

If you could do things all over would you never be sad?
Would. You be twice as wealthy or would things be twice as bad? 
Would. Your friends and your loved ones still be quite near
Would. You drink the same soda, whisky, and beer?


I can’t. Answer these things
I have no idea how
The reality is I’m here and it’s now
Sure there’s a few folks who’ve. Passed that I would like to have back
But now they’re my angels and try to keep me on  track.
I have  found a few shamrocks and have placed some bad bets
But trying to live fully  is worth some regrets
And I’ll keep asking my questions. And facing some fears
After all I’m gonna live about 40 more years
When each morning comes I’ll remind myself in all ways
It’s not the days in your life, but the life in your days 

When your purpose is to seek and provide peace and joy

But today is my Birthday—Cake and Ice cream oh Boy!!!

Sunday, July 7, 2019

Using your true voice to seek peace and joy in four part harmony part one

SOME SILLY SUNDAY STUFF

When you dedicate  a good deal of your time to reflection and attention to what’s really happening right now life gets pretty full in a hurry and that is a good thing.  When you start developing a multitude of stance or perspectives for viewing. Your experiences  peace and joy seems  more attainable, however, there are residual effects and today is a day when my choice is toffee a few  thoughts that I just can’t shake.  I’m not necessarily proud of  these but I’m going to share anyway.

So I am going to start with a true story that came into my  memory. This morning.  Oner of my dearest friends on the planet (RIP RVR) and I stopped. At the Ottley  Lunch a very small cafe in a very small town which I gthink ironically was famous for their breakfast.  It was a late winter/early spring day and pretty cold out so wee  both ordered a cheeseburger, fries,and a bowl of chili.  The waitress asked if we would. Like our soup first?  Sure Bob  answered.  She brought. Out  a bowl of chili set it on the counter and was  filling the second bowl when Bob notices a dead bug probably an early season fly  in his chili.  Now growing up in a rural area, neither of us freaked out about this in particular, in fact we both started to chuckle a bit and Bob looks at me and says “you want to play the straight man on this or should I...?”  I nodded not knowing exactly what would happen the waitress puts down the second bowl of soup and then Bob says...”should we bring this up?”  I said “I suppose so”, and said “Ma’am we aren’t blaming you ,you understand, but therte’s a dead fly in my friend’s soup.”  She blushes and says “Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry.  Can I bring you another bowl?  Bob then calmly says, “No can you bring us another fly?  The waitress stands there in shock and knowing Bob like I did I knew exactly where he was going.  “Another fly? The waitress asked.  “Yes please”-“Bob gets this big grin and nods to me which means I’m to deliver the punch line.  “You see Ma’am we’re going to put that fly in  my chili and if it dies well we don’t really want the soup..”  Now  we both cracked up and the waitress just stood there trying to comprehend what. Had just happened.  A farmer sitting two stools down had a delayed reaction and about 10 seconds later laughed really hard squirting  coffee from his nose.  I tried to apologized to the waitress and knowing that was a hopeless gesture Bob walked over to ther jukebox and plopped in a couple coins and pressed B14 (as I recall) Which was “Drop Kick me Jesus Through the Goal Posts of Life.”  The waitress brought the rest of our food and said it was on the house and  she was so sorry.  We gobbled down the food and both put down five dollar bills on the counter (more that enough for the food and. A good tip in those days.  the farmer  speaks up as we were leaving and says.  “Now you boys have a good day and  stay out of trouble,” with a huge grin on his face.  

These were just the kinds of things that brought Bob and I joy on a regular basis—always looking. For the unexpected perspective on things.  I’ll  only mention  one more master  stroke of  Bob’s genius .  We had just finished  changing food services. Wholesalers. In our college cafeteria and there were  “rate this” cards. On the table.  One night the “fish” sticks were particularly unappealing so Bob grabs one of the cards and writes  “here’s what  we think” on it.  He then said I’ll get USA some pizza later-everyone  save the fish sticks.  Bob walks from  person to person spelling out words.(I won’t use the language he did,  on their plates using the fish sticks and we  methodically  place them on the conveyer  belt back to the kitchen.  He then  walks back to the food service office and tells the manager on duty that the. Dish line is about  to have a problem and he walks out of the cafeteria.  Several of us, knowing what Bob had spelled  out had to sit and. Wait to see  what happened.  Well at first the tray person just must have been alone because the tray belt stopped and a little laugh came from behind the window.  Next, the managers and their dish staff stoodas tray after tray showed up.  Each with a “colorful” description  of the dinner offerings spelled out with various bits of food.  One by one as our trays disappeared into the kitchen each of  us stood up and left the cafeteria.  As the last of us  left up the  steps nearest the kitchen we heard full throated laughter coming  from  behind the double metal  doors where our fellow students prepared and served the meals.  

Well that was  nearly  40 years ago now but the memory still brings me joy.  Not because  this was an act of protest or complaint in either instance—these were acts of saying we noticed, and while we weren’t thrilled, we were going to  voice our.opinion in a creative way.  We were not out to hurt anyone in particular, we just wanted our voices to be heard.  
Sometimes I find the most peace, not when I agree with someone, rather, when I know we have taken the time to  express our values in a meaningful or creative way.  Standing up and shouting loudly, or calling people out, is not always  the path that will bring enlightenment.  The  path to peace and joy sometimes mean letting  the people you oppose see your message as disconnected from them personally.  

Lights don’t just turn red because you are. Late for work.  Your shoe string doesn’t  break just because  you hear the bus rounding the corner as you lean over to tie it.  

It is hard to find  peace when/if you are the center of the universe and everything revolvlves around you and I guess ev en when you think it might for goodness sake be humble and creative when you bring it to the universe’s attention.

That’s enough for  a sunday—more tomorrow on seeking joy in the form of justice without seeking revenge...


BTW it takes six fish sticks to spell “rubbish” even if you are. Good at cutting them. Just right. 

Saturday, July 6, 2019

Seeking peace and joy? Try a threesome

SEEKING PEACE & JOY?  TRY A THREESOME


Of ideas of course.


At some point  in the last couple of  decades we have sharpened our abilities to draw distinctions.  There is nothing wrong with being unique (I hope anyway).  Unfortunately the distinctions we have drawn  have led us down the path of defining others not as different from.  Us, but as being the opposite of us.  

It’s everywhere we turn.  Would you like paper or plastic?  Taste great or less filling?  Many of our diets tell us that health comes from eliminating one thing or another altogether.  Moderation is not enough anymore not even a moderate amount of it.

So many questions I hear and. So many I hear others ask the person next to them are. Not questions per se, they are demands for  a dualistic extreme answer.  When the answer comes out you are  thereby categorized and that my friends is that.  
That’s why I suggest we try a few threesomes in our lives.  Let’s expand the freedom of choice a bit.  Instead of asking if someone is a liberal or a conservative ask them to describe  how they see the best path to a better future?  If you dare ask what kinds of things government  could do better and how?  Maybe follow that up with a question about  how their ideas would work at the. Local, state, and federal level?  Create a little complexity and make it okay rather than kicking people down one of two slots and assuming everything from there.  


You see, it seems. We creat a lot of pressure on ourselves by practicing this “one of us or not one of us” ritual over and over almost each day.  We create pressure when we have to define folks quickly and correctly  every moment of every day.  We focus on what is different from us in others and in the ideas of others and we toss aside the similarities in order for us to settle our souls.  It’s probably human nature to do this a little because  being  absolutely right is easier than  facing a complex reality. 

The downside of this is that when I and others employ this framework it automatically  throws everything into a conflict perspective.  If we could just  make an effort to force a third choice into our thinking. Most of the time, imagine the difference it might make?  

Imagine the  variety of responses you might get if you asked “do like chocolate or vanilla?” On the one hand and if you asked “do you like chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry?”  Some folks might then have the courage to reveal their. True and peaceful selves by saying  “Well—of those I like chocolate, but  what I really like  is chocolate chip mint.  By offering a third choice, you have offered to open up the responses and this brings me to my summary.  

You see adding a third choice often means we have provided the freedom for people to  express themselves and therefore we get to know them better.  We relieve ourselves of the need to  judge and we lessen  the fear of being judge that so many people  carry around like a heavy weight these days.  There is just so much peace to gained by trying a threesome!