The magic in the moonlight Are we being followed by a Moonshadow

SHOOTING FOR THE MOON AS A PART OF SEEKING PEACE AND JOY

So as light came in the basement window my mind reset.  It is Monday now.  It is nearly the end of June—-the end of June?  Are you kidding me???2020 has been the strangest year for me and many others  It is as if w hit the  leap year and decided. To leap as a country and as a planet jumped right into some bizarre. Alternate universe.  Well...one of the reasons it seems that way is that  the world isn’t offering up all our long-standing  routines.  Our road has a few more  bumps.  Our circus is missing  a clown or two.  Our picnic seems to be short of a sandwich—you get the point.  That  stream of thought  rolled me into  “What routines do I still follow and have I followed and which have slipped  away mostly without notice?  One of my routines is reading a few other blogs and listening to a few podcasts.  Sometimes things from these sources  find their way into the cognitive stew otherwise known as my thought processes.  Yesterday’s blog by Seth Godin brought. About one of these mental meanderings.  Seth’s Blog (inventively title Seth’s Blog BTW) featured some thoughts about the moons in our solar system.  More on this below.

So back to the routine and adding in the moon...

One of my routines was nearly nightly finding the moon and  gazing at it.  Why?  You see the moon shines  down in the night and can provide light.  Here, however is the thing about moonshine.  No not the kind that comes in canning jars and can strip the paint off. A battleship—the reflected  light of the sun.  Let’s a think about that for a minute.  The moon has no light of it’s own and yet by reflectubg the light of the sun it becomes a dominant. Body in the heavens.  How many songs have been  written including the moon?  Bas Moon Risin’—Fly me to the Moon—Dancing in the Moonlight—It’s only a paper moon..and of course  there is a the classic Pink Floyd album Darkside of the Moon.   The lesson here is that the moon isn’t the moon  at all unless it reflects the glory of another in this case the sun.  

I looked at the moon to imagine that it was the same moon my friends and my family could stare at giving. Me something instantly in common with their dplace and with their days.  I looked at the moon knowing it influences how fast the world turns, the way the ocean behaves and seemingly the behaviors of those experiencing  a full moon.  

So even from a distance you can make a difference.  You don’t have to make sure the world sees your light as long as you make sure the world sees the brightness of others.  Serving as a connection between others is a worthwhile pursuit.  

But that’s not all and here’s where Seth’s blog  comes in.  

our moon, while almost magical to us, is not the only moon in the sky.  We think of it as the only moon almost all the time yet there are about ????moons in our solar system alone?  About 200 and we only have one of them?   Come on Earth you are a planetary underachiever.  The point Seth  makes and I’m repeating here is that we  often. Think there is only one moon or that other planets only have one moon because. Of our tendency to see the whole  universe from our standpoint and we tend to believe what is locally true is probably  universally true.  From now. On I’m going to adopt a Multi-moon sky.  How hard will that be?  I don’t know but in today’s world it seems  seeking multiperspective solutions is. Worth a shot so I’ll try to enhance  my abilities by  howling  at the moon.  It’s not time to  think locally and maybe not even globally—maybe it’s time to think galacticly?  

So for me seeking peace and joy is to resume staring at the moon and imagining global was to enhance the planet and each other.  

A “New normal” may Who require a new map

  EVERY ANSWER IS PERFECT—SORT OF

How can that be?  Isn’t somebody usually right and somebody wrong or at least less right?  Aren’t things a little true  at least for a while?  didn’t the Greeks and the Egyptians, the Mings, and the Zulu all have  a working model of the universe?  Of course...was it correct?  History may say no, however why be so quick to judge?  

You see it seems that the answers about the ways of the world folks have to offer usually revolve around the answers or solutions the people of that day seem to value.  This brings  this post around to the point of departure.  It appears to many that the old solutions. And answers that we have built our systems and societies around are having a pretty hard time functioning these days.  So we are. Beginning. With some he3sitation to  look for new ideas and new answers and new systems.  this is hard work for some and it is not wanted work for some others.  Many, if not most folks are pretty anxious that the new systems, solutions, and actions will not produce the security that has shattered of late.  Others are screaming bring on the changes—we are past ready—we can promote the change, however,failure to change is not an option.  

well captain obvious (that’s me) get to  the he3art of this—okay?  Okay.  

Well here are a couple of quotes I’d like to have the reader ponder...

If you don’t know where you are going ...any map will do.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it an elephant.

So any map....

People  are screaming for new answers to equal rights, physical health, government/leadership, and global environment control.  Because the solutions  or facts that we have functioned ok for a while for many we by nature assume we will get more  distance or new distance by different solutions to the same old questions.  

So take for example the solution “all people are create3d equally.”  We want solutions that reflect that “truth” or that question—are all people created equally?”   We can look at housing, education, slavery,and so many things and say with some confident certain people may be getting the  short end of the stick.  All that is true, however instead of asking how can we make things e3qual maybe we  could ask a new question.  Maybe  we could ask-why do we look at physical differences to find the answer to the question —why do people behave  uniquely or different from me?  I’m pretty sure that someone having curly hair doesn’t determine how tall they might be or how well they can write or drive a bulldozer.  It would be ridiculous. To let someone  practice medicine because  their middle toe was longer than their big toe.... right?  so what in the world does skin color have to do with  anything?  What do physical body differences have to do with almost. Anything?  Ihazzard a guess that if we keep assigning  status based on outward aspects of people we are never going to  get to equality or caring or compassion or what’s worse we are not going to a place where we expect and support a notion that every person has the the right AND THE RESPONSIBILITY  to maximize their strengths and to contribute to the efforts of others working to do so.  If we ask how do we make different people the same?—we aren’t going to get  to any new places on the spiritual/economic/knowledge  journey—we will just keep buying overpriced tickets for the merry-go-round.  

Getting off the merry-go round isn’t a. Matter of getting different  answers, different solutions—it’s having the courage to ask different questions and to be honest while answering them.  The Greeks and Romans asked how does the sun move across the sky and a mythical god in a chariot was a sufficient answer—it worked for them.  So in these days who is willing to seek new seeds that will grow different fruits?  Do we really expect the. Same old seeds to grow  new fruit?  Well that’s the definition of insanity isn’t it?  Only new questions can produce new answers... Old problems are old problems because. We ask old questions trying to solve them and don’t revisit those questions nearly. Often enough.  Up until  a couple hundred. Years ago physical differences mighgt have made some difference and up until a hundred years ago or so most of us hauled a Sears catalog or last year’s phone book outside to a hole in the ground with a little shack built over it to perform  a constitutional (the polite term for take a crap).  

You see people  decided they didn’t want to walk around with little pars of an ad for craftsman hammers  stuck to their upper thigh when they headed off for Sunday services.  We can expect richer experiences and we can  work together to make them happen.

You can lead a Horse to Water...

If I have a horse and I lead it. To water...and it drinks...it walk away from the water as an elephant.  Yet so many hold the fear that if they change  and others we them change they will somehow not be who or what they  should be or want to be.  Well if someone’s nature is to be a worrier telling them not worry is not likely to work.  In fact in the history of worrying telling someone not to worry has only worked threetimes.  I could have said it has never. Worked but since I don’t worry much my knowledge is not universal.  the point here is....if we work at maximizing each person’s strengths then we don’t need to worry at all about  a horse becoming an elephant and when it comes to seeking peace and joy ourselves we need that change will take us to the “wrong” place.  As long as you have a breath you can stay on the journey of becoming...and no matter what else others ask of you...that’s the only thing you owe. Yourself and  everyone else.  Doing. This pretty much  provides the  reason for changing the questions when different. Solutions are called for.

So to sum this whole  big  entry up it becomes simple in the the end.

D1. If you seek different destinations find different maps and use different vehicles.   And 

2. Act with faith in yourself everyday and  know that if you were meant to be a horse you will be one and if you have a really long  neck and spots  then at the end of the day you are meant to be the best darn giraffe the world has ever seen.  

Thanks for reading... peace and joy on a sticky Sunday morning.  

Are You on Board the Peace Train?

 So the California Zepher sits about 500 yards  East of the Big Muddy on the Illinois side (of course it’s the Illinois side because it’s East of the rive).  we are  about three minutes from the next depot.  However, that few minutes turned into a couple hours as the completely unpredictable and yet fairly probable happens.  The river train bridge. Is in the “open” position to let a massive barge meanderSouth.  As the passenger train waits it’s turn the crew hears of an eastbound coal train approaching  from the Iowa  side.  so the Zephyr’s engineer idles dow2n th3 train to give the freighter first shot at the railroad bridge.   Then for some reason the train grows stunningly silent.  Both engines are failing to crank up after the stop.  And so a train load of passengers sits suspended between  the places they left and the places they were headed.  We weren’t exactly stranded and yet we didn’t know exactly what would happen next.  The passengers were all on this train together and yet we knew frighteningly little about where each of us  was coming from and where  each of us was headed and. Why.  Some of us knew our destination was only moments away once we could move forward and some of us started to figure out creative solutions such as leaving the train and walking to the local blacktop and getting someone to pick USA up just on eat other side of the river.  Others knew we could walk along the river now that the flood waters were mostly gone.  For on that side of the river along that particular stretch there are ancient trails carved by underaged drinking teen-aged rebels and dreamers.  

so everyone has a train song in them....Don’t we all have places in our lives where we were so close to the place we thought we needed to be?  Haven’t we all found ourselves in a place where  many seem to be headed our way and yet we know them only at the very surface level?  How often do we get the vague. Feeling that there is some certainty. About  our position in life and that we will reach our goal, however all the sudden the universal unthinkable  comes calling?  It seems like. The world is sort of in that place right now.  

The Train Ride Experience

Now being so close yet not knowing  for sure  when and where the trip was gong to end might paralyze most folks, I was comfortable on the train, the trip so far had been good.  were there places where the track was under repair—-yes. We’re there some strangers and some bumps—yes.  Did the restrooms smell a little funny?  That’s a trick question—public restrooms always smell funky and not in a good way.  The. Point is...if you enjoy the trip the delay seems to be sort of nothing more than part of what was meant to be.  It’s a chance to think and breathe.  It’s a chance to “look around and gather your belongings.”  I suspect we could all benefit from  looking around us, getting are values and experiences  gathered together and prepare for departure into the days that follow? Just for these reasons, maybe we should all take the train?  

Writing your own train song...

Because  life seems like a train. Journey I feel like everyone has a train song in them.  Luckily many people  are musicians and they write good songs about  the trains that have carried them places, blocked their paths, etc.. People have stared  at the train and imagined a romantic  luxurious world.  Many just see the journey the train is rolling along with emerged in a past, a brief  moment where the train passes, and then the tracks empty  again.  

so do I have a train song in my soul?  There are many.  Have I written a train song...sort of the train shows up in many of my efforts.  One of my favorite lines is

I was standing on the crossroads wondering which way I should be running? staring down the track wondering how fast that train.was coming. 

What is your favorite train song?  Here are a few of mine...

Long Train Runnin’ The Doobie Brothers The OJays “Love Train

 (Which I saw on Soul Train.  The Locomotion which isn’t really  a train song it’s a dance song about a train motion.  Folsom Prison Blues ( my disability  parody link is below.  Of course Gladys Knight and her ???quick fill in the blank... are leavin’ on the Midnight  Train toGeorgis and Janice  was busted flat in Baton Rouge  waitin’ on the train.  Oh and the unfortunate one who had one foot on the platform and one foot  on the train that was headin’ back to New Orleans to wear that ball and chain.  Ozzy  and his gang are headed off the rails on the “crazy train.”  with that...I I I  I  had better draw this  to a close.  So. Get on board the Love Train crank up  a train song or two and enjoy the rhythm of the rails—actually it’s. The railroad ties that produce the soothing  stuff and the ties are. The things that cross your path... start enjoying the things that cross. Your path and  seeking peace and joy just might be the trip you hoped it would be and so much more......

You. Are the little train that can

https://youtu.be/gVOCp2wExj4

Get connected now the importance in the power

 CONNECTION—WHAT IT  MEANS WHAT IT DOES

This little miniseries  started with the notions of thinking, listening, and connection.  In seeking peace and joy and in forming a new more free and equitable. Community these  ideas are not sequential—you don’t have to get one first then the next and then the last—get little  bites of each  whenever you can and do so in a way that reflects  your best gifts.  Use each so that others can. Show their best  gifts and the powerful  change and growth that happens—the peace and joy that might. Be experienced-just might. Be amazing....just saying.  

connection is  one of those terms that everyone thinks they have a handle on, yet if we go a little deeper we might find  some clustering of  ideas might be needed to understand what connection means.   

Loose connections—How many  Facebook  friends do I have?  How about all my “LinkedIn connections or instagram folks?  Oh yes and there are twitter followers.   Come on twitter what are we  a world full of cult leaders or TV evangelists?   Just because you are connected with someone doesn’t mean someone is following you does it?   Are people.really shooting for. Having the most stalkers and trollers?   the language we use  is important...how about  we call the  people connected with us our “love bubble.”  Would we be more careful about who gets invited and more importantly would we treat the communications with the “bubblers more carefully?  

Let’s let that sit a minute...

maybe it’s hard for some of us to  understand  connection, however, it is completely possible for most people to understand  loneliness or the lack of feeling connected.  Loneliness can be devastating  when it includes a lack of connection with other people and  w2ith the lack of connection with purpose.   Let’s start with purpose.

One of the saddest  barriers to  peace and joy that has expanded over  my trips around the sun is the growing uncertainty people feel about purpose.  as our society has made it possible to be more mobile with travel options and cyber options the goals we all can choose have expanded so we can think globally.   Unfortunately  in order to find peace and joy thinking globally falls short if you cannot THINK GLOBALLY AND ACT LOCALLY.   a true purpose needs to fit both ways.  That is, it needs to be in locally and expand to the world outside—something larger than you.   If it’s not larger than you why connect with anyone for anything?   If you only connect with someone to  use them...how rich are those connections really going to be?   

The “demographics” of connection...

I grew up in the3 era of neighborhoods.  There was a corner store that had an owner who usually put his name on the sign outside.  Sometimes there was a little butcher counter in the back  where some grizzled gent (who may or may. Not have set his thumb on the scale) lopped off some meat, grabbed the pencil that was always  lodged  behind one ear, and wrote the price on the paper wrapping...none of the plastic wrap designed to display the good side of the meat and  to shelter the fatty side against the styrofoam  package.  there in your neighborhood was a church or two, at least one elementary school, a gas station that remarkably  had gas, but didn’t sell diapers, 42 kinds of sports drinks,coffee, or lottery tickets, a drug store that often had a soda fountain a few small electronics, sometimes a comic book or two and had a candy counter like the little grocery store.  the gas station, the drug store, and the grocery only had about one thing in common or maybe two things.  First they sold bottled pop.   If you lived. In a fancy town some folks called it soda.   the other thing?  The people. Running the store knew you.  they knew. Where you lived.  They knew your friends. They knew your parents.  Hell they even knew your parents” friends friends.  the owner either liked you or not and if not you hoped the next store wasn’t very far away.  The neighborhood was the source of  nearly all your entertainment and recreation and there was almost no doubt where one neighborhood start3ed and one ended.  

We have lost neighborhoods... but maybe not forever...if we try hardship to recognize the value.  You see we  are in a climate where we expect  law enforcement to take care of things that  our neighbors  used to.  everybody had the crabby  guy on the corner who yelled at you for throwing rotten apples at unsuspecting  targets.   Neighbors were a 24/7 surveillance network.  ADT wasn’t necessary because Old Lady Johnson knew everyone who cut through your yard at a regular time and made sure  people were  informed if the neighborhood had  any unknown visitors.  Sure we didn’t have privacy...then again we had had community caring and  pride.   in a lot of small towns, especially small catholic towns, your neighbors were related somehow or when your kids got older they were going to be your relatives eventually so you might as well make sure these kids grew up smart and safe.    Anyway ther was this connection space known as a neighborhood.  We could learn something by hearing the stories about  neighborhoods and. We could  seek some peace and joy by constructing somew welements of neighborhoods  in our lives.  

so true connection means being connected to a purpose larger than us and being a part of a community—a neighborhood if you will.  So what if we  talked  to each other enough to find out that others shared our purpose and linked our gifts. With those folks?  Could we call that a (non-gendered) brotherhood?  so.in seeking peace. And joy, I try for neighborhood and brotherhood when possible.   It’s not always easy to be a “brother and a neighbor” to all your followers so in my experiences I have chosen a few people and worked a bit to  have those roles.  I then focus connection to  the few and  am open enough to invite others. To get a free sample...my blog and podcast are in many ways a free sample of  being a friend/bother and neighbor of mine—by the way stay off my lawn—just kidding —however if you are going to have a bare spot where the pitcher’s mound. Is try not to stretch it out all the way to the home plate area.  

The Power of Connection and Making Change Happen

Seeking peace and joy or having hope means  experimenting  and experiencing will need to happen.  This is where the power of connection really  happens.  It’s where the. Rabbit gets pulled out of the hat—the place where magic is possible.  when you are connected with a purpose and with others who share that purpose, you can select a change you would like to try and then your  brotherhood can connect with others to share ideas and find resources.  Your purpose can  infect others who then want to be connected ands thencritical mass can be achieved.  Or in other words the work leads to the rewards of relationship that can be “collected.  The power of connection is in the the ECT model....

Select (a common purpose)

Connect your  brotherhood  with others

Infect the environment in a way that  allows  you to try new things

And Collect when you learn about the success or failure of your efforts and  you can move forward in the process of seeking peace and joy.   So select, connect, infect, and collect!

Some final words about changing the way social interactions could work...

the posts from the last week or so have been pretty “heavy doc”.   I’ve tried to seat out some ideas and some tools that have helped me develop the  best  group of people I could ever hope to be connected with.  sometimes my energy and gratitude hasn’t  equaled the glow the universe has  placed upon me.and all I can say is that every day  I am thankful for those who think with me, those who listen to others who include me, and those who have stayed connected through my crazy journey.   You  people rock the world

Once upon a time a story about how to listen

• 

  The last entry  ended with a request that you imagine telling someone  how to get from the nearest. Shopping mall to your house.   What were they doing at the mall?—just checking out another going out of business sale at a former big name catalog store?   No matter...the reason for the request wills become clear in a few paragraphs so hold your horses.   Hold your horses?  How many people  have horses/d—well Sidna...but other than her how many people  have them and how do you hold one?  How many  little sayings do we assume  everyone knows the meanings of and Howe often do we use them?  for example, I doubt whether someone  growing. Up in Los Angeles would  understand  when you ended a phone call by saying...hey I’ve got a lot of hay down...In a later episode of this blog I’ll have a little fun with all the little sayings, however for now it’s enough to say we all have these  little gems and their interpretation  is far from universal.  When it comes to understanding each other a bit better ther4e is more than one way to skin a cat—oh who can name three most popular way of skinning a cat?  Okay. Point proven—let’s move ahead.   

  
  

  Once upon a time...

  
  

  If you really want to gain an understanding  of someone else’s experiences the most efficient  way is not to randomly ask questions like how old are you? What do you do for a living? And Where were you born?  If your conversation mate answers these correctly you  then interpret and assume some things about them and it’s assumptions that have gotten. Us off track in most cases already.  So in human relations terms this  is like seeing someone in a hole and helping them by handing them a shovel.  

  
  

  In seeking peace and joy through listening it is  good to ask others to tell you a story.  The person speaking gets to  create the culture to encompass the story, introduce and develop the characters and the journey or problem the characters face, the outcome and most importantly the teller relays in an implicit or explicit  way the moral, the lesson, the value that the story is told to reveal.  You see you need to let people direct their own “once upon a time in order to really learn and you have to be prepared to listen in a way that makes sense.  Now...of course hearing a story and listening. To one are not the same.  Be prepared to help the teller along by understand their strengths as a storyteller.  Howe do you find those?  

  Oh remember. The mall?  Now here’s where that comes into play.  

  
  

  You can  learn so much just by knowing how someone describes  an action.  for instance, if someone tells you “I leave the mall and turn south down  Main Street pass four traffic lights and drive about a half mile, then you so south for  a quarter mile and turn right going only three blocks to your destination—that’s a different story from Go south of the mall toward Burger King, stay. On that rtoad until you see the Last chance lounge on your left—you’ll see the big blue neon sign on their. Roof.  Then. Turn the same way you would turn if you were going to church and follow that road until you get to that place where we used to buy candy after school.  Now you’ll see a big green house up on your side of the car and we are the next house after that.   

  
  

  You see, these two stories wound up in the same place but are different  and if you don’t know that  the people are using  different parts of their memory to  construct. The story then you may have a difficult  time really understanding.  However once you understand. How someone constructs a story and which parts of their brain they are comfortable with, you are going o be able to connect  so much easier.  Now there are some “learning and memory” terms for the types of  facts in the stories above and the dominant  ways  people use them—(semantic, and eepisodic memory and processing) however I won’t go down the rabbit hole here.  the point is we need to appreciate that some people use. A computer to type out ideas and some people use spray paint  or even a dance or a song and it’s a worthwhile investment on eeveryone’s part to  find each other’s storytelling sweetspots.  

  for me seeking peace and joy in relationships and. In gaining understanding relies on exploring such things and experimenting with using  different ways of expressing ideas to see which ways connect with which people.  

  
  

  Speaking of connecting—that’s  the topic for tomorrow and will wrap up this little series.  

  
  

  For today—it is the solstice  and the day of of maximum sunlight in the Northern Hemisphere.  We will never have this much. Sunshine for another year so be sure to get out and share some  with the world.  

WAIT it is Time to Listen

 What’s that famous sitcom or romance about to tank line?   We need to talk?  Yep that’s it.   How different  would life be if that line always came out as “we need to listen?”   

What is at the core of Listening? 

If you  do any research at all the experts will almost always describe “good” or “active” listening as a set of skills and then hsigvhlight each one.   This set of skills  often describes open ended questions—you know not things like “Have you stopped beating your wife?” giving. Good nonverbal feedback like nodding your head.  No—not like you do in church sometimes when the. Weather is warm and the sermon gets too long—that’s called nodding off.  giving comments that encourage expansion like  could you tell me more.  Of course there is the reflection or summing statement of “what I hear you saying is—-“. Oh and I have nothing  bad to say about  these ideas, however, these are mustard on the hot dog of listening...What do hot dogs have to  do with listening?  Absolutely nothing except that when you say hot dog you think everyone knows  what is being said and  the reality is that a hot dog at the  school cafeteria is nothing like  a hot dog at the ball game and let’s say eating 74 hotdogs means you like  hot dogs while eating  74 hot dogs in ten minutes means you are the world champ.  

Can you tell it’s about lunch time?   

Anyway the point is context or culture trumps specifics or plans every time.  

Back to Listening but first I encourage you to use a couple acronyms... offered by Oren Sofer modified by me—WAIT!

Anytime you go into a situation  where you claim to be listening be asking yourself two very important  questions.

What 

Am

I Thinking  and Why Am I Talking

The average person can think way faster than the average  person can talk so as someone talks to you or with you will tend to santicipate what’s coming, synthesize the information you are hearing and thinking about, and most important you will be forming a response.  Unfortunately, many times folks skip right to step three in this sequence.  Instead of being present in the moment of the conversation your brain drags you forward into the  what am I going to say zone.   So that makes it hard to actually. Even hear what someone else is saying and also shuts down. Two other components of listening that really matter—true curiousity and caring.   Rally being curious about. What someone is saying and really caring to know  and understand someone  do more to improve listening that’d any question you may ask or any reflection technique you can use.  

What’s that famous sitcom or romance about to tank line?   We need to talk?  Yep that’s it.   How different  would life be if that line always came out as “we need to listen?”   

What is at the core of Listening? 

If you  do any research at all the experts will almost always describe “good” or “active” listening as a set of skills and then hsigvhlight each one.   This set of skills  often describes open ended que3stions—you know not things like “Have you stopped beating your wife?” giving. Good nonverbal feedback like nodding your head.  No—not like you do in church sometimes when the. Weather is warm and the sermon gets too long—that’s called nodding off.  giving  comments that encourage. Expansion like  could you tell me more.  Of course there is the reflection or summing statement of “what I hear you saying is—-“. Oh and I have nothing  bad to say about  these ideas, however, these are mustard on the hot dog of listening...What do hot dogs have to  do with listening?  Absolutely nothing except that when you say hot dog you think everyone knows  what is being said and  the reality is that a hot dog at the  school cafeteria is nothing like  a hot dog at the ball game and let’s say eating 74 hotdogs means you like  hot dogs while eating  74 hot dogs in ten minutes means you are the world champ.  

Can you tell it’s about lunch time?   

Anyway the point is context or culture trumps specifics or plans every time.  

Back to Listening but first I encourage yyou to WAIT!

Anytime you go into a situation  where you claim to be listening be asking yourself two very important  questions.

What 

Am

I Thinking  and Why Am I Talking

The average person can think way faster than the average  person can talk so as someone talks to you or with you will tend to santicipate what’s coming, synthesize the information you are hearing and thinking about, and most important you will be forming a response.  Unfortunately, many times folks skip right to step three in this sequence.  Instead of being present in the moment of the conversation your brain drags you forward into the  what am I going to say zone.   So that makes it hard to actually. Even hear what someone else is saying and also shuts down. Two other components of listening that really matter—true curiousity and caring.   Really being curious about What someone is saying and really caring to know  and understand someone  do more to improve listening that’d any question you may ask or any reflection technique you can use.  

WHY AM I TALKING?

Another. WAIT is also important .  Listening  on the part of any members in a conversation is often hijacked because it is not clear that the people in the conversation are talking to achieve  the same purpose.  One person may be talking to share information while the other may be talking to argue a certain point based on a subset of the information available.   One person may be on a mission of discovery. And understanding  while another may be  trying to stop the spre3ad of unwanted  disagreements.  therefore, it is important for any listener to  be clear with themselves with regard to the purpose of  what they are saying in the conversation.  Hence, “explain to me the difference you see in races?” —-what does that  mean in the context of  understanding. Social  conditions verses the comparative  challenges of tracks horses might run in the triple crown.  

So if you want to listen maybe its time to “WAIT”  or ask yourself to  reflect on the context and culture surrounding  the3 words that you hear and use.

So I’ve written a lot here and there is more to say about. Listening and thinking so we’ll come back tomorrow.  To prepare for tomorrow ..imagine you have to tell someoneto find your house from the closest shopping mall if their GPS or phone wasn’t an option... why?  Because using  the best set of talking tools helps listening and  tomorrow we are. Going to discover some fabulous  ways to  pick out  your strongest tools for talking and listening.  

A few more thoughts about syncing

A FEW MORE THOUGHTS ON THINKING

as I walked outside yesterday there was a whirlwind of Pollen  floating  in the yuh air and landing all over.   The weather report said the air quality was “moderate.”   That could be and then again the North Pole might be moderately cool on most days.  Well this  “air” started the lyric machine in my head and all of the sudden I was “calling up the instigators because there’s something in the air and we have got to get it together...”.  Do you wonder if “the revolution’s near?”  Well... in some ways I hope so—-remember. Hope?—-(hard work optimism, persistence, and experimenting)?  

In order to really hope  there can be peace and joy rolling forward in this  new social awakening is to experiment with some new. Ways of thinking.   Before we can change the way we think we have to understand a little about how the brain  works.   We think in  concepts and senses/images.    We use language to express  the concepts and in order to do so we attach meaning to words.  Let’s try a little experiment  to demonstrate how we link concepts to words.   Red, yellow, green, orange, purple, pink.   read that list again... got it?    Okay now  let’s try this  list—-Grape, cherry, blueberry, orange, banana.   Orange?—did you cre3ate the same image each time you read the word?   Why not?   Well ... because your brain attached different meanings to  the word.  So what if I said.... fill in the  blank... Horse_______Nascar_______bicycle_______Space______ Okay what does race mean?   

What I’m trying to  offer is the notion that people are saying we need to  change and we need to  hear from everyone.  The suggestion I offer is  for each of us to really take a  long and soulful look at our thoughts and how they are connected to language we might encounter.   

Maybe we can start to think differently by making a list of five words to think about and to really. Understand how our thinking works around  these words.   Here are some words I might suggest

Hope

Race

Sex—you can think about gender if you want...I don’t mind  if you think about gender and sex this is an adult exercise. 

Normal

Future

Caring

Different

Growth

Resistance 

Acceptance

Surrender

Okay while you are doing. Your thinking try to come up with a synonym  for each and  to conjure up a memory  of an event that reminds you of each of the five words you have chosen.   

If you do all that....you have thought enough for. Today.  Tomorrow we will  explore thinking and listening...

Peace....

Thank you Thursday thank you for the defunding I think?

    

  

Thank You for Thinking....I think?

experiencing  Peace and Joy. Is related to the input you  give your physical senses a and  the meanings you attach to  the sensations encountered.  Thast’s a bunch of  behavioral science babble for saying You see hear and feel stuff and taste stuff. And you feel certain. Feelings about that stuff.  Oh and  sometimes the meaning of that stuff comes naturally and sometimes you have to think about it a bit.  Oh, and if you are a cognitive psychology fan you’ll be sayi8ng...well that’s what we said and you might be right...however this entry is not some Freudian frolic debate and I won’t get into Jungian archetypical analysis  or unconditional  positive regard.  

Let’s just stick to the thinking thing for now.  

There has been a lot of  public  discourse about. “Defunding police” and I have seen  about 10 different  operational definitions  about this topic.  

I find it interesting that  a majority of these  constructions are more about re-thinking  what is needed to enhance public safety and perhaps. Educate  the professionals who. Work in law enforcement.  Why then  do people use the term “defunding?”   

These are my two opinions on that....

Some folks want to  show that they are ready to punish the police and its institutional  racial bias severely and thus. Somehow solve a centuries-old problem.  The problem  I see with this  is that the behaviors engaged in are happening. Daily, right now—they are not centuries old and punishing a few  citizens to change society is shunning  our responsibility to  listen, learn, and work together to build something.   If we  called this “defunding’  a cultural correction would people  understand it better?  Or how about  community-based  reconnection of public services—because  that’s what it will take.   Speaking  of “services” isn’t that just another word for shared expectations or responsibilities?  

For the first time in my lifetime and yours, pindividual and public  health became a public concern and a set of expectations was  developed.   The need to comply was fueled  by marketing  uncertainty as fear.  I am always slightly amused when death is used in the uncertainty equation.   Most studies to date show that  while cause of death  varies significantly and age of death varies, the likelihood  of it doesn’t seem to be ion much  doubt. Oh well back to “defunding.’  Now it seems we are. Selling the fear of lawlessness against the fear of more  prejudice-driven behavior within a partiucular occupation.   

Well if we are going to be doing some “defunding”—-why not defunding politicians who develop the laws enforced by. The law enforcement community?  How about defunding land owners who  exercise  unfair  housing practices?  YIou know by not permitting them to collect full rents or something and providing a social worker to their. Neighborhoods.  How about defunding  corporations that conceptualize human work as labor cost?  How about making it illegal for utility companies to advertise about how reliable they are and how much they care when many are still geographic monopolies?   Maybe utilities could be  smandated to pay for  the lighting and heating of public schools and buildings?   After all don’t these buildings  house the children and young adults who will work  it the utility industry and buy  its services?  Oh and  don’t get me started on insurance companies...

Anyway...I need to get back to being thankful for thinking... 

You see the discourse on “defunding” has reminded me  that No one person, no company, no religious group, no single entity or collection of them has the power to stop. Any one of us from  thinking. About creative ways to change  the ideas needed to change the behaviors and actions that will heal society and will lead to greater things for mankind.  Connecting, Listening and Thinking are purposeful acts that we all can  engage in... and I would say must engage in with some urgency in the process for seeking  peace and joy in these days.   

the next three days will be devoted to Thinking.... Connecting and Listening.  These are mental frames of references and there are skills  to be learned to execute them... the blog  will head in that direction starting  tomorrow.   For now be thankful for thinking on this “Thank You Thursday!”