It doesn’t matter

IT DOESN’T MATTER WHERE YOU KNEEL

So with the frigid  temps in the “polar vortex” I am certain that  a lot of folks have aches and pains due to stiffness etc.  Unlike  we often hear on the weather reports this actually  IS A WINTER WEATHER EVENT”— Anyway  I am sure that some of the pain in the knees of some of my  friends and readers is  a direct result of  what can best be  characterized as Catholic calisthenics—you know  kneeling, standing,  sitting -kneeling…  Oh well I am not writing  to complain about  that and I am not  making any remarks about  how people express themselves on NFL  sidelines.  

Yesterday I was kneeling in my bathroom—-no it wasn’t a liquid lunch, nor  was my stomach doing cartwheels… I was quickly  wiping  off the throne because well I know that at least  most of the time  I am responsible for it needing a quick going  over… 

As  I was picking up the  nice wipes I used to do this I realized that people have a lot of disagreements on this planet about where  one should be kneeling and what one  should be thinking while doing so.  That my friends is what I  am writing about today.  

You see while I was finishing  up this  job—-for whatever reason—thoughts of  gratitude  for knowing a few specific  people came to mind.   

Well after a couple  of minutes of thinking about it, I decided to take  a couple minutes to pick up my smart phone and contact these  people just to  say thanks  to them for  being a part of my journey.  I mean seriously it only takes a few seconds to  express some gratitude in todays connected world and I don’t know if it was the act of kneeling that prompted me to act….if so that’s a good thing.  I just started thinking that where  one kneels or where one reflects on the  brighter spots in life  doesn’t  much matter as long as we  all make an effort to reflect on some of the  simpler and  quite frankly  better  things in life.

By the way if I didn’t contact you yesterday… don’t worry I am thankful for you too—-I don’t know where I’ll be kneeling soon … maybe to tie my shoes and you might get a text or something.  I only wanted to share that  when and where  we kneel shouldn’t  divide us it should remind us of good things in the world and be a source of peace and joy.

It was a dark and stormy night sort of

IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT

Well it was a snow storm and not that dark really…but I have been doing a little reading about writing and  heard this was the kind of starter that gets people’s attention… 

So anyway..

I  turned my head just in time to see the flash of the  camera and then hear the shouting  start….

Another one  of those attention grabbers…how  am I doing?

Okay seriously….

I just wanted to  post a thanks  for all of you  who get out and brave the weather in the winter to  perform a sometimes  seemingly  thankless job……shoveling your  sidewalk and if you live  on the corner I doubly thank  you if you make sure the curb cut is cleared.  

Pedestrians like me really enjoy some of the silence of winter and it is doubly pleasant when  I don’t have to trudge through  drifts and unattended  piles of snow  on public walkways.  So thanks  to all who get  out there and do the work…. and for some it isn’t much work at all  because  you have a snowblower or a four wheeled device with a blade.  Well if you happen to have one of those  do me a huge  favor and a favor to your whole community…..  go 10 extra feet in one direction or another…hell go crazy… do the whole  block!!

There were four small drops of  blood leading to the basement door—-yes that’s just another  one  of this lines but  here is the real deal.  Thanks for shoveling…it matters and  more than you may think for those who get some joy from walking in the crisp winter.  

He closed  his eyes and grinned  slightly as his shorts fell to the floor…..

Okay  he knocked them off the dresser because  he was looking for a sweater to go out and shovel.

Have a great  day

Little things it’s time to let go of to find some peace and joy

 OK looking on the lighter side it’s time for me to let go of some little things that sometimes block my Peace And Joy so enjoy

Some Stray Thoughts That Needed A Place  To Land

Sometimes I think some of the biggest barriers  to Peace and joy are the little thoughts that seem to hang on  and on and on.  They  are the  death by a thousand cuts in  the modern world.  Well I am going to  put some of mine  down today andrelease them now.  So when I think of them from now on it will be with a smile instead of a  snarl.

1. Adapting?
2. I love  my technology—maybe not as  much as some folks but at least  as much as  most…… but I spend way, way, way, way,  too much time  looking for the right adapters for the  right devices.  Now it would be different  if they were really that much different but they just aren’t .  In fact, on one end they almost all have a “Usb”  I  think that stands for  universal  service bus… although  it could stand for Usually Something  Broken  or —-ummm somebody borrowed it I don’t  know.  The thing I know is that all these adapters are the same on one side so when you grab that end you  think you are about done connecting this thing so it will work or charge.  Then you come to the other  end which could  have one of about five different shapes and you are either  happy  because you have  what you  need or there is the distinct possibility that you don’t in which case you have two options.   Find an old device that fits that adapter and plug  it in to see if  it will work well enough to get  the job  done or you can dig around  for another adapter until you find the one  you were looking  for.  Well if these people  figured out ONE universal end don’t you think they could figure out  the OTHER  end?   #Apple, #Nokia,#Cannon, #HP — we will still buy your other high-priced stuff…just  get the chord thing figured that out…you can...  I know you can…. We are on the verge of having cars that  can drive  us around with almost  no help and we have cameras in ourselves for the   fridge… we can do this.  Maybe  our president can do like Kennedy did with the space race and  swear we are going to get this figured out  by the end of the decade.  I know that's only  one  year—but those scientists didn’t  have Google,  or Siri,  or  anything.
3. 
   
4. Next . Things that we should have an app for…Okay the cost is not the problem so let’s work  on this… 

Yep I 

Every child’s toy that  makes  sound  should have a chip that links with  their parents smart  phone and thus the sound can be  adjusted from there.  While you are at it put one of those  locator tiles in  the  little tot’s  favorite stuffed animal so we can find  them immediately.  This would lead to hundreds if not thousands of hours of  more peace and joy in our households.

 Last on my bucket list… 

Finally— we regulate all kinds of things but we are missing some rules that we should have.  Have you ever noticed how many bottles are in the average shower?  The shower should have to contain holders for two items per person per household and no more.  I would say only one.but that would cause way too many domestic disputes.  How many different types of shampoo and conditioner do we really need in one shower?  I have been in houses where three people live and there are six different types of shampoo in the shower which leads to big problems.  If there is more than one kind an of shampoo and you didn’t bring some you don’t even know who to ask if it is okay to use some of theirs… and that’s just plain irritating.  then there is the razor location situation.  I understand that some people really like to shave in the shower and why …and that’s all good.  However, some folks replace the protective cover, some people don’t.  Some people put the razor in the soap rack and some people place it on the side of the tub/shower nearest the drain end  Yet others leave it near the  other end of the shower.  All that is okay except when you hear a razor (the sharpest object in most homes) hit the shower floor.  Of cours this is usually when you are washing your are using one of the 13 types of shampoo you sorted through.  Then you reach down with your eyse full of soap to try to find it… you could get cut immediately, but maybe not.  You might take a step in one direction or another to attempt to locate it again and step on it which is always pleasant.  

We can solve this by issuing everyone one government licensed shower and bath buckets hat you teach your kids to carry with them at all times on trips or in college dorms etc.  You take your bucket in with you and you take it out when you are done.   You may think I’m a little out of line with this one…...(or whole post)--but the next time you hear a big crash in the bathroom and your heart skips a beat wondering if someone fell because three bottles just hit the floor very loudlyyou’ll reconsider my thoughts.  we can achieve some peace and joy in some of the strangest places….

And speaking of strange… that’s enough strange ideas for one day 

Have a fabulous rest of your day and tomorrow too as I won’t be posting until Tuesday.   

Find some Peace and Joy  Come What May

The peace and joy of asking? Part three?

 Hey this is pretty serious stuff I promise something more lighthearted tomorrow or Monday but this is the third part of the three and maybe more if you haven’t read the first to try those first this might make a little more sense or might not that’s up to you to decide thanks

ASKING FOR HELP WITH PEACE AND JOY

Okay I said this would be a trilogy and this is the third  entry…. well.. I am learning from friends and readers ( some of  these are the same people) that human  interactions  connected to asking  and offerring  help is far more  troublesome or at least complicated than  I originally imagined.  How did I miscalculate?  Well that’s simple—-I’m neither good at asking for  help or consistent in the way I offer it.  This creates  anxiety more  frequently than I realize.  Well of course I started writing  about this because  I know I’m  not good at it…but  I wasn’t as aware of how  tricky this is for some of us.  So… getting to the point—there will be more musing  about this in the future… but for now here comes  part three as originally planned.

How  to Say Yes by Saying No when asking for and being asked for help…(didn’t I just  say this was complex?)

Some of us don’t  ask for help because we know that there is an expected shift in the relationship  when we  accept it.  For example, as someone  who doesn’t drive who gets asked if I want a ride when I’m  a block from my destination….. I will often say no because  saying  yes means losing  some independence not only in my mind but  also often for the person who offers the ride.  I know that sounds far fetched to some readers…but I’ve experienced it enough to know that  the one block ride then turns into  “ I’d better  ask that  guy who has a hard time getting anywhere or everywhere if he needs another ride… and then I’m  in the “dependent person” category  for —well pretty  much  forever. That is just too high a price to pay for a  ride for a block or two. 

  

So  asking for help  becomes a sticky  proposition about making that  decision for me and a lot of other people too.

So all that  probably confuses the person  who offers me help and doesn’t really think of it that way at all…. they are just trying to be nice… and some of them  are and I owe them all an apology—I am sorry.

Okay  let’s  move forward… I really wanted this third  section to be about why   sometimes when people tell you “no” when you ask for help it is  really them asking you for help…what?????

Consider that they are asking  you to understand  one of two  important things.  

First, they may be  telling you they are unable to help in the way you are asking and they do not want to disappoint you. So they  are respecting  you by saying no.  They  might  not  have the passion needed to perform  what  you want in a way that matches or  respects your  purpose.  They are  not rejecting you they are respecting you.

Second, they  may have to  say no because saying yes means saying  no to  their own calling… Now that sounds selfish—-but would  you ask  the best  singer in your favorite band to play  the drums?   Would you  want the singer to say  yes?  Sometimes when  people say  no to you they are  tapping into the things their spirit are telling them to do.  In short they are committing  to use  valuable time to offer  their best gifts to the world.  

So…. in the end saying no to something  might be saying  yes to something far  more  beautiful and saying  yes to something might  be saying  no to something  far more valuable.  

Well.. Now I am going to attempt to summarize  what i’ve said over the past couple  days.

1. When asked for  help or asking for it please view it as sharing talents not a human power or status transaction.
2. 2Whenever possible view asking for help or  offering  to give  help as a chance to teach and learn  from each other.

3. We all  have gifts and have to make decisions about  how to use them.  Asking for and giving  help should be about that…not about characterizing the asker or the  responder.  

In short, this is complex and can be messy.  Working  hard to  create spaces for all of us to be our best is worth the effort… as they say just because  it’s a simple idea doesn’t mean  it’s  going to be easy.

In the end… I am here to help in the ways  that will respect you and  provide me  with peace and joy.. and am asking  you  only to do the same… remembering that right  now I’m still a novice.

Peace to you all. 

I’m asking for peace and joy part two?

Yep I’m gonna is a time for 

PART 2:  PEACE AND JOY AND  HOW TO ASK  FOR IT?

WARNING- Much like  yesterday (or whenever  you may have read the first part—thank you for reading it by the way)…. this post contains references to food that may not be liked  by everyone… I am referring to fish today….. and a biblical phrase—I feel qualified to use the  fish as an example as I was raised Catholic and thus have had my share.  I sometimes wonder if there was  a great  deal of pressure on 15th century Catholic  fishermen knowing that  if there was”nothing biting”  on Thursday—it might be seen as a punishment from  the devine or  he or she  was  just going to have a potato and be hungry till Saturday?

Anyway let’s get  back to the topic at hand…….

ASKING FOR  HELP

 Like I mentoned several  rants ago in the first  part of this…askingfor help can be a very  tricky  and anxiety  prompting  endeavor so we need to  look at it a bit… wish brings me to the fish.

I have always  liked the saying

“You can give a man (person) a fish and  that will be food for a day OR YOU CAM TEACH SOMEONE TO FISH AND THEY CAN  EAT FOR A LIFETIME.

Well that gets  right down  to it …

How  to ask for nd offer help.

When asking You can lead  off by saying “Can  you do this  for me?”  That happens a lot and sets up  the whole  yes I can but  now  you owe me..or yes I can  because I’m smarter than  you circumstances  that are  a sandbox for future anxiety laden  thoughts to play in.  

Another alternative is yu can ask “Hey do you  know  how to do this?”  or Y”unless it is something like picking  up a piano—you can ask “hey do you have  time to show me how to  do this?… Or even further you can ask “where can I learn to do  that like you?” 

You see …. you are changing the conversation into a fishing lesson.  

Now  there are some  situations  where this won’t work  like if you  are asking a teenager how  to do something on your phone because they will have  it out of  your hand and finished before  you  even finish the word Instagram.  However.. most the time  approaching it from the “i want to learn” angle will take away a lot of anxiety.   

…and the next time the person  you asked for help needs help they are likely to ask you in the same way  you asked them….so that  is cool.

Well  that  is about enough for today….but I hope it makes  sense.

and  yes there is a little musical segment  below and the final post in  this trilogy  is on asking  and saying no… as a whole  part to the Peace and Joy  puzzle:

Oh and  one last  bit of wisdom  once  shared with  me  as we sat on the bank… and caught nothing for hours… 

“there’s a fine line between fishing and drinking while  you are giving a worm a bath.” 

With a Little Help Part One

 Warning: this post contains references to behaviors and eating and otherwise ideas that might offend vegetarians or vegans I have friends amongst you and it it is not intended to offend please skip down to the part about help itself and read on thank you

HELP WANTED-Maybe—One of the Hardest Hurdles to reaching Peace AndJoy

In a few  lines I am going to get to the  very serious topic of  how difficult it is to ask for help for some folks and  maybe provide some  ideas that have floated through my head lately.

For  now, however, I have to say a thing  or two about “real world””  observations on the lighter side of this  topic.

“helper”…….Well last night we had Hamburger Helper for dinner.  Now we have  it from time to time and generally  if it is put together right and  you use the right pan etc.  it tastes  just fine and if you are hungry it tastes pretty good.  Here’s the thing.  I’m  glad somebody realized that hamburger sometimes  needs a small place for ulittle help.  There is also “tuna helper”  and yes tuna needs help too.  Now what i’m wondering  is was there a meeting where a group of folks  sat around deciding  what  type of meat or semi-meat products were worthy of or needed help?  Did these  folks  take a stack of post-it notes and paste them to a wall under categories  like “Needs Help-Good enough with  Ketchup or bbq Sauce, Doesn’t  Need Help at  all, and the dreaded  nothing can help this.

For example T-bone steak doesn’t  need a “helper (a little A1 sauce for some will do.  Liver was in the nothing can help  this category but in a stunning political move they  stuck it together with onions  thinking if you can  eat liver then onions  with it will  make it sound  complete and as long as your kitchen and breath are going to stink….let’s hook those two up.  Turkey, ham, and chicken.. they’re good.  No help needed  there.  Sausage and Bacon—they can help other things but  they like going solo.  

I guess  I went through  this whole rant  to point out that  somebody somewhere  spent some time  to say we value this meat as part of our  society (except for sPaM  they said if people eat this we can sell them anything) — but seriously.. somebody  wanted to make it okay to admit a little help is in order and some effort would be made without  shame or guilt attached.

So that brings this into focus.  asking for and how to offer help are two of the most complicated human  activities.  

People want to feel independent and have been let down by  promises a lot so asking for help  can be both hard  on one’s self esteem and  have no practical value—even when it is probably needed or would be gladly  offered by a person who could deliver on the promise  

Offering  help has its  own set of complications.  Some people offer help fairly often, however, there is an expected reward of being applauded for it, or even worse the help is offered in the spirit of  “I know I’m better than you (at  this and probably in general)  and here’s a chance for me to show you and the world.  we all know people who “help” for those reasons.  There is also the  I’ll help you because I know I am going  to need something  from you .  Now there’s  nothing  wrong with  interdependence and asking for help or a trade  of assistance in one  thing for assistance in another is  a perfectly  good concept in fact maybe you’ve heard of it in a simpler  way…. It’s called sharing.  You know you have a talent and someone else has a different talent and you both decide to share.  

Okay before this gets too long I want to  raise two  questions—

Why do  you help others?  

and  more  importantly can we start with  the question “is there  any way I can work WITH you to get this task done?  “With” is a powerful word in the equation  of seeking  peace and joy.  

so the next time you want to assist —think about  “why and with.  

Those are important words on the path to Peace and Joy… 

There is more to said about this topic… but  I wanted to post  this much today…. 

adn I’m still trying to  consider a category for hot dogs—I have seen a lot of things  “on a hot dog” that might be considred “helpers” but I’ve also seen  just a dog —no bun, now mustard— go over just fine…… maybe it’s because  they have that cool  Oscar Mayer Weener-Mobile?

Have a Brilliant day. I don’t 

Goodbye stones hello peace and joy a new age

 Morning this is a long post there’ll probably be some errors but take your time enjoy

APPROACHING THE “PEACE AND JOY’ AGE

Well I woke  up this morning randomly reaching for electronics to recharge and get ready for another “productive” day.  As I plugged  in one of my two sets of bluetooth headphones I noticed that I had forgotten  to plug them in  last night and that  irritated me.   Why? umm because I’m a spoiled brat and  I let things like that rob my peace and joy.  Well… of course I said I have  more than one  set of these so I  unlinked them  to my phone and  connected to my desktop and here we go.  

But the  title of this post  is not “things I whine about inside”  (although maybe it should be lol).   The title refers to  “the age” of Peace and Joy and so let the discussion move that way.

Before I started  writing I took two of the sharpest objects in my house and rubbed them across my face for a bit  because that’s always the smartest  thing to do when you  just wake up and  are not really thinking about the technology and the idea behind such a task.  However, in  this case an inspiration  came to pass.   Let’s climb  into the “wayback machine Sherman”  (if you don’t know the reference—let’s  set the flux capacitor back several thousand  years Marty—If you don’t  knowt hat  reference either  just keep reading.

Long ago there  was  this “age”  known as the  stone age.  From what our  investigation  tells us  there was a period when  human beings  said or  grunted to each   other  “hey Bill if we  are going to  kill this buffalo that outweighs us by about 1500 pounds sneaking up on it and  slyly giving it a left jab to the ribs isn’t  going to cut it—how  about we  use  some  of these  rocks here and  maybe  knock  it out and then  crack it over the head with a rock or a club?”  So the stone  age was born.  

Then of course  we wanted different things  and had to try to find  different tools.  Nature and  the good Lord  led  folks to discover thatsome of the stuff in these rocks  could be somehow extracted and we then had this stuff  called  metal.  I know we went through  like the bronze  age and I don’t  know if we officially  ever called  it the “iron age’ but  we started building tools and weapons and  things out  or that  and we could do more things  like  build  bridges and  swords and stuff.  As a side note if you a  are  a bit of a prude don’t read the  next paragraph.

Somewhere in this “iron Age we started  using some of these tools for “modern medicine.”  Speak most  specifically of circumcisions.  This couldn’t have  happened in the stone age.  Also  it couldn’t have  happened in the pre-alcohol stage and ifI could  go back in history I would love to hear the  conversation  that led to the decision to perform it.  “Well Isac—just hold  it right  there and we’ll just take a little  of this skin off the top…trust us”  I also want to hire the people who convinced  the first “patient” to do this.  They had to be the greatest  marketing agents ever to wander the face of the earth.

Okay that observation being made let’s  return  to our  main theme —the Peace and Joy Age.

Well we went from  this iron age to  the industrial revolution where we started  using  our  new  materials to build machines  to do tasks.  Some might argue and i would agree we had to have  the “enlightenment”  before  this industrial revolution waso possiblewhat’s that mean?  We had to  have a great period of ideas on  how to do things differently and show that these things would  fit into our real world.  So we  had this enlightenment and  the beginnings  of the industrial  age kick in.  Which brings  us  to almost  today.

We have been hearing for some time that we are no longer in the industrial age—we are in the “information age.”  Information sour new  tool set and information machines  are the new rulers  of the human  tool pyramid.  Well I disagree.

We have already  zipped through  that age.  Oh sure we are still building machines that other information and  can store it.  We already are producing  new  information at mind-numbing speeds…

So if not the information age where  are we?  Well we are certainly  capable of merging  industrial age products  like refrigerators with  our smart  devices  so that the cameras in the can se somebody left two bites of  Jello instead of throwing it out.  Our printers can order  ink for us and our  phone can serve as a pizza delivery  beacon.  We are  at least in the “connection age.”  Who  has Facebook, twitter, instagram, pinterest, have I”snapchat?”  Oh and I almost forgot  YouTube and did forget “myspace” because so did everyone else.  

Now… finally to the point I  am trying to make…. we have almost all the tools  needed  to  build things and connect people… and  yet are we all happy and feeling good about the future?  Well oddly I say  “yes we can!” if we  now turn our attention to the”Peace and Joy” age.  We have worked  on the “external” problems/challenges that ace  our human being… and have done well.  We  now  for the first time in  human history have eliminated most  of the barriers that keep us from working on  human to human connections, the connection between  the outside world and our real creative talent, and so we are ready for  the peace and joy enlightenment.  I say bring it on…let’sget to work on discovering our best selves instead of our best external substances.  We are  ready as a being  on this planet to do so…. and thus have a real  shot of finding the peace of  knowing  oneself and each other the the joy of  maximizing  the  balance between  acquiring wisdom and celebrating our growth and the ability to assist others in  also walking that path…..

Okay… it’s time to stop writing and find a new razor blade…andtime to  accept that peace and  joy is the age peaking around the corner and asking  us to move into it.

Gratitude for a Different Perspective (whys are not always wise)

Balance.....

For  as long as I can remember and that's a long, long, long time, I have  almost without  exception looked at most the world with a slightly  different perspective than  others (or at least what others would admit to).  I once wrote a paper from the perspective of a glass Pepsi bottle and a political farce using the names of Hostess products  for the code names of government  officials.  Mostly, however,  the different  perspective came from ALWAYS  asking why?  No not  just about somethings--about almost everything.  


I mean let  me ask you  why..... why don't we retire until we are 40 or so so we can learn something about who we are and the world  before  our bodies fall apart and then work for about  35 years ?  I think a lot more things would get invented and a lot  more exploring would happen.  

Okay that's just one example and it is I suppose good to have a  different  mind that asks these questions sometimes and I am  glad to have  enjoyed asking the why question because  I have learned a good deal from  digging around in literature and  now on the web.  

Unfortunately--life presents situations where asking the  question is  not all that WISE....

For there are some answers that cannot  bring you peace or joy.  There some questions  that come before us to  help  up find a lesson and asking why did this happen is  not  at all helpful.  Finally, I  am learning that "whys" are not always "wise" simply because that question keeps  me (and others) from  moving  from "what  happened and why?"  to what if  I could help  this happen?"  Further, the question I need to use my energy on is "how?"  How can I make the next positive thing  possible?  What possible gifts do I have that can make positive things  possible for others while I am  on my path?  

Can you spend some valuable time asking why?--yes...but it is  time spent standing on the tracks wondering how far away the train is and  how fast it is coming.  

Eventually we will construct a narrative or one  will be revealed  to us where  "why" becomes evident and  acceptance  is understanding that  might not be  just because we want the universe to be under our control.  

Okay... this  is a pretty  serious  post right... so I should  end it with a little  lighter  note.  

Does anyone reading this  have  30 or so  tooth brushes?  If  not why don't we call it a teeth brush?  

Have  a beautiful day full of  peace and joy.