Christmas by the Numbers

http://Christmas By The Numbers?

Today is the 13th of December so if it worked this way it would be the “first day” of Christmas wrapping up with full stockings and who Hash on the 25th.  However, that’s not how it is.  So what’s the deal…well let’s just look at Christmas By the Numbers shall we?  

So it’s only fitting to begin with the number 8.  Why eight? Well almost every year before Christmas the winter holiday season kicks off with the festival of lights known as Hanukkah.  Speaking of the festival of lights—if you count my mini tree we have  about 180 feet of pulsating sparkling joy infusing our living room with the Yuletide Spirit.  Now only Newton Einstein (Santa’s smartest elf) has the foggiest notion what a “yuletide” is… Now back to that eight  day thing.  Now it is not at all groovy to discount this ancient  religious  celebration so tomorrow or whenever the next day  of writing happens… there will be more irreverent  remarks about that… All I know for sure is that I have 25 tea light candles that I can light by pressing a little switch and that’s enough for three Menorah or is the plural of menorah actually Menorahs?  

So we have eight days of that… and why does the Christian tradition celebrate 12 days?  Well some monks and smarty pants scholars claim it has to do with the estimated time between the arrival of Jesus and the appearance of the three wise men.  Now why did it take so long for these wise men to show?  Well first, it takes a while to find THREE  “wise” men… One or two…hey..no problem but three?  Some reports that this trio were kings and came in on camels.  Now that makes some sense since three egotistic men, kings or not aren’t going to stop anywhere for directions and first century camels, even with two humps weren’t equipped with GPS so 12 days seems about right?   Oh and according to the most repeated reports these camel jockeys came with some swag for the savior.  They were hauling Gold, Frankinsense  and Myrrh?  Now gold we all understand. It’s a sign of “kingship.”  Frankincense is a really strong aroma  and a symbol of deity  and look if you are going to a party in a manger and bringing camels, you are going to want to be freshening  up the air somehow.  Now myrrh is somewhat  of a mystery.  I’ve been in a lot of retail and wholesale places and not once  have I ever seen myrr.  Not even at Cosco  have I seen Gluten-free myrrh or sugar-free myrrh reduced  by 40% in the “after Christmas sale bin.  So what is Myrrh anyway.  The best that I found out was that it is an oil used in special ceremonies including embalming and end of life gatherings/processes.  So one wise guy gets to bring gold.  Another gets to make the place  smell better.  However, the third guy must  have drawn the short straw can you hear the conversation?  King Elijah you bring some of that gold… King Solomon you bring that cologne, and well you King Ralph… grab some of that funeral oil alright?” 

It’s hard to say  if the 8 days and 12 days are completely accurate as maybe both time periods were only 8 days but the christians…especially the Catholics like to make sure  all their religious events last a long time—have you been to an Easter Mass?  Oh and some of us remember when “Black Friday” only lasted one day. 

Well now we have 8 days 3 wise men and 12 days and here’s one more number to ponder.  A very highly respected banking corporation has been tracking the cost of .the collected partridge through drummers line-up.  This year the cost due to inflation has risen about 3% and now would run in the very wealthy neighborhood  of $46,729.86… which means the wise men probably  got off pretty cheap.  

Okay… this is just the first of several…but not twelve  holiday entries… so ho ho hold on to your stockings before hanging them with care… 

More soon 

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All We Are Saying

 Give Peace A Chance 

Whispered softly “oh My Lord”

Must this blood again be poured?

And all the bodies we’ll record

So men can boast of victories scored

Or could we work for peace restored?

And if  extremes won’t be ignored

Grab your pen and drop your sword

Try writing answers on the board

Hopefully Odious Holiday Ode HoHo

Ads for discounts grow and grow

Mouses clicking to and fro

Black Friday’s gone there went our dough

Prepare it’s time for this year’s show

Santa bellows Ho Ho Ho!

the reindeer have the sleigh  in tow

The elves  were spying kids below 

the list has told them where to go

Nice or Naughty we all know

Children’s faces  all a-glow

When they tear off the sparkling bow

Boys play with dolls like G.I. Joe

Peace on Earth? I sure hope so

On This Day In History and some Other Conspiracies

 On this Day In History

Yesterday in the “inbox” of the email associated with this blog and the related podcast there was a link “the wrap for 2023.”  So… of course it had to be clicked and as it happens it was pretty much about the podcast only which is fine, however, as it happens the data used to develop the “wrap”  was only from one viewing source and not the most popular one.  Again, this is okay especially because it ignited the thinking process leading to this post.  

You see the whole thing highlighted  the past year…. What was listened to by most people, where those people  were when they listened (what country—not whether you were caught in a traffic jam somewhere around detroit or in a Walmart parking lot trying to get the “child proof” cap off your antidepressants).   It announced that the pod had an overall increase of 6%—thanks!  Oh and as long as you are being thanked we might as well throw in that adding up the page reads and listens for the two main blogs and the podcast that have been offered over  the past five years now….. the total amount of reads and listens has topped 70,000 which is just a number  about 1000 more than 69,000.   Nonetheless, thanks for using some  of your time paying attention.  

Now for the “History”

So… personally…. I read a couple blogs from time to time and listen to several podcasts regularly  or at least sometimes and that will will wind up in their “wrap” I’m sure.  One of these  has a subject of “this day in history.”  Now ever since I was a kid when there was a considerable  shorter history of some things including this here United States… (when I was in school  the text book was more like a pamphlet— there have been these little calendars that had a history fact on each page giving  a fact about what happened (or was reported to have happened) on that day.  There will be another post or podcast that gives some highlights about particular days, however, no particular day leaps out right now.. not even February 29th.  So what’s impressive?

There are no blank pages!

Think about that for a minute…. 

All year long…every day… something significant  can  and will happen.  Every single day someone woke up … had their energy drink (cocaCola  with real cocaine perhaps  and decided “I’m going to try  to do this just one more time” and BINGO! They’re  on the calendar!  

Well we don’t have to worry about the  calendar or the podcast so much as maybe adopting the mindset that today is the day that we can be part of something significant happening in our lives, in our schools, in our town, or in the drive through of Mcdonald’s .  —and if not today then tomorrow for sure…. 

….and the cool thing is…. When a lot of the things in this “On this day” calendar happened the people involved weren’t thinking—“I’m going to be on a podcast in 2023”… they were likely  just thinking what I”m doing  is something towards this or that purpose  and so they did it.  Oh and sometimes it was just an accident that they noticed  could have a positive impact.  

Now Peace and Joy  on this day in history?

Well first it’s your history or more important  to note all of history was something that happened in the present at that time.  Sometimes the person doing it knew it might be historic like when Armstrong walked on the moon, but there was a lot about that  day or the events leading up to it  that had to happen on some day like the day the Apollo crew had training on how to go to the bathroom in space… after all no one had ever taken a leak on the moon before either so it was one small piddle for man and one giant. Leak for mankind on that day I tell ya… 

So.. to sum up… this is your day in history put something on your calendar!… You make a difference and often. Someone else will benefit

Also will you please remind these “year in review” people that there is a whole month left  in the year and something important will happen every day.

Monday Undercurrents

 It’s the start of a new week.. yet everyday life sometimes like to bury us under some anxiety.. this ost recognizes that.. and encourages  you all to start looking for peaceful moments.  

Blurry vision — weary bones

Swerving through the traffic cones

Fearing radar spying drones

Dodging spam calls on our phones

Reminding us of student loans

Beneath your breath you feel the groans

Comes time to face the great unknowns

In all these real life Twilight Zones

Thanksgiving Primer

Trying to see the Light—Thanksgiving?

So amazon choice gives us an absurdly abundant amount of lighting options for party and holiday lights and this year in this house… there will be lights.  Now… how to decide… ?   We’ve got  your standard soft glow, multi-color, red/green, clear or green wired, sound activated, motion censored, infrared or bluetooth music responsive four, seven, and eight function strings, curtains, and spinning globes.  You can start with 12 or go up to 1200 or more… 

And it’s only a day before Halloween so there’s time to decide right?…. wrong! You see… these lights might remind us that we are heading into the part of the calendar in the U.S. when we celebrate giving thanks and a season of hope and renewal and yep a little giving on the side.  

Oh and is it really ever too early to start being more aware of giving thanks and focusing on hope?   Oh and do we remember that H.O.P.E. stands for Hard work Optimism persistance and Experimentation?  Hope like peace is something you create not something you wait for.  Oh and “Thanksgiving” or gratitude enjoys the reputation of what we can use to change our perspective on gloomy circumstances… so we celebrate that by overeating… oh wait … not stuffing ourself that’s not the point of the day… everyone knows it’s football.  You are thinking surely we jest?   No. Football is a bunch of people in a limited space fighting over small treasures they’d like to take home year after year… so the grid iron is just a metaphor for Black Friday?  

Taking a few minutes to reflect, it seems like thanksgiving gets a little cheated in the decoration department.  For “trick or treat” we have entire families dressing  up and roaming neighborhoods exchanging fun-sized candies—(fun size is a great marketing term—like I always keep a “fun sized amount of cash in my wallet and many politicians seem to have a fun-sized proportion of common sense and ability to identify common goals with about half the other side of the aisle and thus we have a fun-sized amount of effective government?  

Anyway.. I will take a few minutes to look for thanksgiving lights.. however, what exactly should that search look like?  Could we find a ceramic set of misfit Europeans coming to a felt covered shore delivering a stack of bibles and miscellaneous  diseases to some indigenous characters?  Instead of a pine tree should we adorn some “Indian corn” with Hallmark inspired plastic mashed  or sweet potato  clumps hanging from it?   What about a blinking or dancing pilgrim…?  It would be great to see a spinning Mayflower that flashes to the tune of “Thank You for Being a friend” wouldn’t it?  One of the superstores could sell a life-sized “uncle Billy” figure that sits in a recliner and has  a half empty beer can in one hand and when football sounds come from your TV it emits little sayings like “that was holding… these refs need new glasses”  .. or maybe Uncle Billy  could just make belching and other bodily emission sounds?or spew random political insults which could be customized  for which ever party one might choose… and maybe you could get a matched set where one  figure barks out the standard political ramblings from each party and the remarks go back and forth until nobody is listening—-oh wait we already have that it’s called the Washington D.C. at home collection.    

Seriously.. it appears that Halloween and Christmas are sort of squeezing out Thanksgiving these days.  So maybe we can start the Thanksgiving season off by listing  five unique things one might be happy for.  Here’s a “starter” list.

1. Thanks for multi-ply toilet paper.  We’ve all tried single ply… enough said
2. Thanks for all drinks containing caffeine or other stimulants because that’s probably the only reason our GNP (U.S.) is growing  by well over 4% this year not to mention that this year the average American worker is producing 12 times as much as he or she produced in 1950 even though wages for most have not increased proportionately.
3. Thanks for all the digital music options that almost anyone can imagine as that eliminates the need to hang around the backs of grocery stores in order to swipe the requisite number of milk crates needed to store and move vinyl records.
4. Thanks for those new appliances that are connected to each other and to local merchandise providers—like the refrigerators that have an internal camera that tracks what you have inside and can develop a grocery list that can be forwarded to a local store where electronic payments can be made and a “door-dash”  driver can deliver it right to your door because when you only have two Kraft singles left…you just can’t wait until tomorrow?
5. Thanks for all the reminders that come up on our phones.  Everybody needs to know that you only need to use 82 more calories to reach your move goal and that your proctology appointment has been made and you only need to press #4 to confirm… and it is critical to know that “Cheezy feet 29 has posted two new videos of monkeys playing the tuba for a concert hall full of stray cats.

Okay to simplify … let’s start thanking the universe for things early this year and please keep us all posted if you run across an animated mechanical turkey that screams “save us—become a Vegan!”  Peace!

 

Take a Leap

One Last  Leap?

If you are lucky enough to have a “local’ newspaper —we do.. it’s twice a week—it is almost always worth the read—-if you still read—which is also usually worth it.  So  in the most recent “Times/Herald and why after this long they can’t pick one either Times or Herald.. who knows.. but a lot of papers have that same issue like th Star Tribune  etc… Anyway that’s a topic for a different  day..  So in addition to the “local” news there were two notable feature stories from the world at large.    One is/was a seasonal article  about the world record being set for a huge pumpkin.  

Huge Pumpkin the “pies” the limit?  

You see this pumpkin tipped the scales (more like drove them into the dust)  at ,749 pounds which  is like over 1200 kilos  or insanely humongous  in scientific terms.  Now what do you do with this after you get the record?  Now remember that Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater Nursery rhyme. Wher ePeter kept. His wife against his wife in a pumpkin shell?    Or maybe there’s a fairy  Godmother’s used cars where she can get quick access to pumpkins in case there’s an impromptu  ball and Cinderella wants to take the whole crew in the the Party Pumping Pumpkin..  I mean we could have around 1600 pies but these giants aren’t really the right type for pie.. Yet if you made pie we are talking about 75,000 sq. Inches of pie and barrels and barrels of cool whip right?  You’d have a lot of seeds to fry or bake etc or plant and go for  2,750.. good luck.. It’s good to have a dream.. and speaking of dreams..

Take Leap

The other feature story that caught my eye was about a 104 year old lady who broke the record for being the oldest known person to parachute solo.  She died a few days  later, yet holy Moses she understood seeking peace and joy and taking  the leap to live every single day.   

So in the “seeking peace and joy  world the point isn’t  that you have to grow a pumpkin you can’t lift and you don’t have to  jump out of a plane.. you only have to take ten minutes to find a local paper and let your curious brain find inspiration… Trust yourself and you will have your own story guarantee to make someone smile  even if it’s only you… and you are enough   Before the clock strikes midnight.. peace.. 

   Important  Correction  Cunkin was 2749 pounds 749

Sharing? The Peace and Joy

 

An Unusual  P&J…

These entries. Are not about political/religous, or economic opinions—EXCEPT THIS ONE IS 

Sometimes seeking peace and joy requires letting gifts and blessings flow into and through your life and your spirit.  In a world culture that worships money we sometimes forget that you can only eat one fancy meal and ride in one fancy car at a time… In the U.S. the top money earners in nearly all major corporations are now making 300 dollars for each dollar they are paying their lowest paid workers… and so now there are some strikes which are people saying we value sharing.. This 8-line rhyme is about that…  Enjoy this with someone… in other words … share. No wonder why we’re stressing

Every morn’ while we’re dressing

Piles of problems each one’s pressing

Headlines with our minds keep messing

Allow for  bits of wishful  guessing

If the greedy few might start confessing

And share with all who build their blessing

More calm we’d begin expressing

You May Want a Miracle-but Don’t Change Water Into Whine

 Miracles Are cool But Let’s Not Turn Water Into Whine

When you grow up in the “Ag” world weather is a big topic.  This is reasonable when some well timed precipitation can make the difference between a big dollar sign and a for sale sign.  Yet, it’s not only the farmer who tends to kind of whine about the rain.  Fishermen whine about the rough water.  Flint residents whine about the poisons in their water (oh wait that’s okay)… the point is we as humans are pretty much made of water and a couple bucks worth of minerals—and ironically  we are frequently whining about it.  We have too much of it in some places at some times and too little of it in other places at other times.  

Now in seeking peace and joy let’s try to take a glass half full view of water shall we…

Starting with music —wow how much of our music features water, or what water does, or bridges over it when it’s troubled.  It can be well “oh black water.. it can be like a river to be rollin’ on and when in a tub you can “splish-splash” in it.  We could go on and on or we could sit by the dock of the bay and ponder a couple of water related sayings that have crossed  the minds of many…and so let’s not worry about the raindrops that keep fallin’ on our heads and reflect a bit.  

One saying  that’s been floating around a bit lately is 

“My cup runneth  over”… since gratitude  helps people focus on the gifts they have and sometimes on the gifts they might share this is a valuable saying…. Except.. sometimes  your cup runneth over because  you no longer have the energy or balance to hold your cup very steady… so stay aware.  

Another inspirational and relevant idea that recently floated by was…

The rich soul is one who finds many types of folks in their life… the type who will show you the rainbow—the type who will dance with you in the rain—and maybe most importantly the people who will walk with you into the storm.   If you are going to seek peace and joy with others  know that sometimes you will need to do all these.

Finally for today there is a saying that roughly states….

A ship doesn’t sink because of the water it’s in.. it sinks because of the water that gets in it… and the argument can be extended  in the peace and joy world to say seeking peace and joy sometimes means having enough of,and the right people in your boat who are willing to bail you out when the storm comes…when the best built boat hits a big block (of ice)  and some folks who can help you tell which way the wind is blowing… 

And if all that fails it doesn’t hurt if someone in your boat can walk on water…. 

It seems like the well has run dry on this idea and while sometimes this blog gets muddy.. we’re not going to try to wring out another drop of water by boring you to tears.

Peace