Fabulous New Holiday TunesPart One

 Christmas  sing-Along sort of?

Well.. this blog has taken a bit of a holiday so to speak.   It’s not that the world is producing less noteworthy content or that the need for seeking peace and or joy has suddenly hit a decline.  It’s a strange combination of time constraints and the need to reset.  And so that happened.  In the meantime we have wandered through a few days and about 40 gazillion  versions of 17 Christmas tunes.  Now these songs do put some spirits in better places—like for instance more whiskey and tequila under  the collective sinks and in the collective liquor cabinets of many.  Having said that often times people want “new” Christmas songs or artists doing their versions so the decision here was to take the Wongs of some well-known folks and plug in some “Christmas related” lyrics.  

These lyrics work… they have been applied and heard.   So now that we’re back on the camel and watching the star with a tail as long as a kite here you go. The Next three entries will be some “never to be classics…but enjoy (There are music videos out there or on on the way too.  

Song Title —Real Elves Opera-Time for Me to fly

Sing  to the basic themes in REO Speedwagon’s  “Time for Me to Fly”

V1

I’ve decked the halls for you

Built millions of dolls for you

Every engine has a fire chief

I’ve landed on roofs for you

Dodged Reindeer hooves for you

But I can’t get any relief

I’ve had enough of the shopping malls and the Ho-ho-ing

Every time I go outside it’s always snowing

I just want one day where it’s warm and dry

I believe it’s time for me to fly

V2

The Christmas spirit’s gone 

They can get things from Amazon 

And they bring it right to your door

And Santa  I’m getting pissed 

Reading the naughty  list

Must be four billion  names maybe more

And they don’t care what we put in their socks now

They just want the new iPhone or an x-Box now

I’m going to walk south and drink Canada Dry

I believe it’s time for me to fly

Chorus 1

Time for me to fly 

I’m gonna hi-jack the sleigh

Time for me to fly

Go to New York or L.A.

Tell Mrs. Claus she makes a good Christmas pie

But it’s time for me to fly

V3

I was your favorite elf

But one bad day and I’m on the shelf 

Oh Santa why can’t you see

It was your old reindeer 

Who got into your favorite beer 

And Prancer tried to hang that on me

I’ve had enough of the hot chocolate and gingerbread cookies

I’m sick of the Star Wars toys  especially the Wookies

I’ll turn in my curly shoes  and my red pajamas 

I want to spend Christmas time in the Bahamas 

Oh Santa Claus  I gave it a try

But it’s time for me to fly

Chorus 2

Time for me to fly

I’m gonna hi-jack the sleigh

Time for me to fly

Tell Vegas I’ on the way

Find me some gummies  and get really high

Yes it’s time for me to fly…

Tell Rudolph he can kiss my A$$ good-bye  

‘Cause  it’s time for me to fly.

A Crazy Calvalcade of Candy

 Halloween candy Sales Fun-sized?

Well the Great. Pumpkin has come nd gone once again and delivered a bounty of dental damaging delights.  While early estimates predict U.S. citizens diverted dollars toward other scary things like political candidates fear not we plunked down  a minuscule 11.6 Billion with  a B instead of last year’s record 12.2 Billion on halloween feasts and festivals.  This amount includes 3.6 Billion on candy.  To get some perspective on how much candy is going home in plastic buckets, grocery bags, and pillow cases… if we took the candy out and laid it end to end the line would stretch  around five thousand seven hundred miles or this line would stretch from Miami to Anchorage Alaska.  Or if one wanted to go international the line would stretch from New York City to. Any of the following:  London, Paris, Rome, or Madrid-just to choose a few destinations.  So if the Pope started on one end and the President started on the other?…Would they meet in the middle?   

What are some. Of the favorites this year?  So far Reece’s  in several forms like bats, pumpkins, and the classic cup lead the way.  This is followed by M&Ms and skittles of many varieties  and an increasing number of “sour patch-like choices.  

Some economic geniuses  note that chocolate choices may be headed for a slow down due to the increase  in the cost of the cocoa beans needed as their price has nearly doubled.  No worries the candy makers will just shave another fraction off the size of their product and soon fun-size will become just mildly amusing size and king sized will become “Earl of East Hartfordshire “ Sized.   

Even though the candy size may shrink the efficiency of the whole Trick or Treat extravaganza  has improved dramatically with many community events where people set out tables or the ever more popular Trunk or Treat.”  Maybe next year we can pick up a spare tire, some jumper cables, and one of those flimsy jacks that have a handle that is supposed to double as a tire iron but in reality is no match at all for a lug nut that was blasted on with an air wrench.  Or maybe kids  and adults can just stand on their lawn and wait for the huge trucks to roll down their street firing Butterfingers from a “candy cannon.” Or a semi=automatic sour patch slinger?

So getting down to the “Peace and Joy of it all?  

Halloween gives us a chance to try on a different costume  and. Seek approval and little rewards.  People seem pretty willing to accept the small changes presented to them by the neighbors who come knocking.  Maybe we could all be a little more accepting when others try to change just a bit?  Maybe we could all learn to recognize when we are putting on a mask or showing our real selves?  In the end it probably seems to bring  some joy if we hand something to a kid of any age and say :here, try this.. unwrap it, consume it, and smile.”  

Well we will share one more Halloween entry soon and then it’s on to “pilgrim’s platters?”

Getting pumped up for the holidays

 Let’s Pump(kin) Up the Peace and Joy

Well while it may be hard to believe and a bit scary Halloween is almost upon us.  So the next two or three entries will be devoted To big orange round things not basketballs, a frightening amount of candy, and the money we spend on things that go bump in the night.  Let’s start with those orange things shall we?

We are talking about pumpkins of course and the modified version of the gourd  known as the Jack-o-Lantern.  

While we here in the U.S. don’t seem to pay much attention to the pumpkin most of the year the fall is certainly its season.  We generally assign a round shape to the pumpkin but like its fruity cousin (yes the pumpkin is a fruit)  the watermelon, a pumpkin will generally grow in the shape its surroundings allow.  So could we grow a square pumpkin?  We could but allowing the fruit to spread as it will seems to yield the incredibly varied shapes and sizes we see in the store and pumpkin patches that appear this time of year.  Pumpkins range from just a few ounces to the world record  smashers that weigh two and a quarter tons or so.  Yes if used for pie this gigantic thing could produce  enough pie to serve somewhere around 10,000 people.  And might provide a nice sized small home for the wife of Peter, Peter you know of pumpkin eater fame.  Not all pumpkins are orange as some take on a yellow and some take on a greenish hue.. but the majority  are orange and are remembered for Halloween which is the holiday we eat candy and Thanksgiving  which is the holiday we eat everything else, take a nap and then eat everything else again.  

There are different reports about how long we have been eating pumpkins or growing them intentionally, however recent research has uncovered pumpkin seeds that were obviously harvested and are linked to a Native American  tribe.  These seeds were dated to about 6,000 B.C.  just 3 years before the original batch of candy corn which you can still buy at the dollar store or some Walmart locations.   

Pumpkins as food and fun

There are thousands of places where you can catapult a pumpkin which is a blast.  However artists generally claim the most fun buy finding creative ways to carve faces and other shapes into the pumpkin and then provide light within to cast spooky or funny shadows.  You can look up the story of this Irish guy Jack who “tricked” the devil sort of but in order to keep the devil from getting revenge he had to have something  to look like a head.  Now because he was Irish and Ireland was full of potatoes the original Jack O’lantern  (you see that’s where the “O” came from  Jack was Irish where the names are O”Cool.  Anyway when the tradition came stateside there weren’t so many potato  stashes that weren’t dedicated to food and its not that easy to carve  a spud but a pumpkin is already head-shaped and the head (like a lot of politicians) is hollow.  Well except for  some fleshy parts that when combined with about a pound and an a half of sugar tastes pretty good when you put it in a pie and cover it with whipped cream.   Oh and there are seeds which you can boil in salt dry, cover in butter and then roast at about 325 degrees until golden brown… Oh and you can season the seeds with about any flavor you might like so you can have garlic seeds, ranch style seeds  and if you have sugar or cinnamon  left after the pie use that.  

The Peace and Joy of Pumpkins

Well first the selection  of a pumpkin and its carving usually involves kids getting to pick their own.. The more adventurous kids will reach inside the pumpkin as it is being processed  and the squash of the squash  is tactilely interesting.  The art produced from the carving is usually a joint kid/adult venture  and that is something lacking in a lot of our daily happenings.  The fact that a lot of the parts are usable and the fact. You could plant the seeds for next year teaches  sustainable concepts.  Oh and after a short while the pumpkin which has served us well biodegrades quite nicely.  In addition to this many community options for getting pumpkins are linked to patches that have pumpkins every year so nice traditions are possible.  

Well… there’s more Halloween fun coming and there’s a nice pumpkin waiting for the knife… more soon

Since Jack came from Ireland maybe we could end the first segment of this with a lovely little Limerick?

Pumpkins Everywhere

In each neighborhood thatd we strolled through

There were hundreds of pumpkins in view

And there were also long lines 

Of political signs 

Showing heads that are quite empty too

fact Checking Peace and Joy

 

Fear not the labels nerd or freak

Though hopes for change are often bleak

While truth and wisdom many seek

Some tend to lie eight days a week

When using  language mine or Greek

If shouting loud or mumbling meek

I ask those feeling free to speak

Why don’t we give the facts a peek?

Anxiety over politics, and other things. Oh well.

 

The predictions of wizard may echo the nerd

Taint most of the viewpoints we’ve so often heard

Sages? They whispered but ignored was their word

Then we look back on events that occurred 

Decisions seemed wise but the outcomes absurd 

They laugh in the face of our options preferred

Yet ashes of memories are best left interred 

For paths heading forward have always been blurred

Do We Need More Debates?

 

Here’s what the hype has clearly created

Two of our chosen now stood and debated

Silver tongued speakers wearing watches gold plated

Some of the lines and the lies have grown dated

The data gets carved and just slightly misstated

Was this the wisdom for which we’ve waited?

So who can be loved and who should be hated?

Our highlighted differences will be over-rated

Perhaps we might remember something attributed  to Mark Twain…

It is far easier  to convince people of something wrong than it is to convince them that they may be wrong…”.  

And.. one might add… We live in a time  when we might not believe everything  we might choose to read, see, or hear, however we can certainly read, see, or hear everything we might choose to believe

Had Enough dried Up Brain Batter?

 

Beware of the madness as you broadcast the hatter

It’s time to call out the worn pitter patter

The labels aren’t lazy it’s truth that they tatter

This goes beyond smirks and innocent chatter

For it divides towns and homes often shatter

Ideas become narrow and minds become flatter

than pancakes poured out from dried up brain  batter 

Wonder not when you preach if these syllables matter.

AI Not

 

It’s all because the Sizzle and the Buzz

Every now and again it’s interesting to take a gander at the “National Day” calendar to see what’s being featured and/or “celebrated.  Today’s entries somehow seem fitting in a world climate that tends toward duality and polarity.  It is truly tempting to choose one of the topics and let that focus taint the whole day, however in the seeking Peace and Joy Universe, well, it frequently seems allowing for multiple perspectives and letting the balance  or the meaning to develop where it might.  So that leaves us with a buzz and a sizzle on our canvas—here goes.

“You’re Killin’ me “Smalls!”

Ask most any kid to tell you what the. Most deadly animal on the planet is and even. When the kid is somewhere between 2 and 92 you’re likely to be told “you’re. Gonna need a bigger boat” because those sharks are hungry and swimmers make a tasty snack or of course there’s lions and tigers and bears—oh my!  Oh and there are deadly snakes and those poison frogs.  Well like inflation and migrants we might need to fear those. Critters, however, the deadliest assassin swarms in at about 1.5 miles per hound does it work with just. A little buzz and a little sting  or bite.  We’re talking mosquito madness here.  To make it even more interesting, of course not all mosquitos carry deadly diseases and deposit them in your blood stream.  In fact, unless there are trans-mosquitos that dress up like butterflies and such it’s always ladies night at the blood bank as males live on nectar not A negative.  Not only do males miss. out on going vampire.. they miss out on a lot of life as they only live an average of 10 days while their female counterparts live a couple months or so unless you watch them gorge themself with your good and then clinch your fist pumping them to overflow and watch them explode as they exceed the three times their body weight that they can usually handle.  So life would be safer if you could identify the females easier, alas, with around 3,500 varieties and around 200 in the U.S. it’s hard to make. A solid ID So some poor boys are going to have to die even if they aren’t guilty.  

If you have lived in various parts of the country you will get to know that there are many mosquitos that are just tiny annoyances and leave little bumps and then in “river towns and swampy places” there are creatures that when mature might qualify as a “state bird.”  Unfortunately they are hard to avoid no matter where you live and many products a person might use to deter them are fairly toxic.  If you want a natural defender citrus (lemon) eucaliptus is probably your best shot according the AI generator consulted today.  But enough about being poisoned  to death let’s see the opposite side of the calendar….

Also if you want to get rid of a few mosquitos by using Mother Nature invite in a few bats.  They feast on about 3000 of them in a good night and speaking of feasts.. here’s the other. Item on the ledger. To balance the day…

It’s “bacon lover’s day!!!”  

Now here’s proof that AI will never outsmart humans.  TheAI generator asked if we needed suggestions on how to celebrate bacon?  Are you freakin’ kidding me?  Well you don’t dress it up in a tux or a flowing silk gown and take it to the prom or storm out on the field or dump Gatorade on the coach.  You don’t go out and buy a Hallmark card and slip a fiver in. It.  You don’t light. Candles on a cake for 6 preschoolers to spit at as they “make a wish.”  It’s simple… It’s bacon… you cook it to whatever level of of crisp you want it and you eat it, you put it on other things you’re going to eat and eat it.  You figure out how much  might be the right amount to eat and well of course add just a little more… it’s bacon!  

So just like. A lot of things in the universe we have to understand.   There is a balance of things.  You know I time to reap and a time to sew.  Time to play disco and a time to play real music… a time to kill (mosquitos) and a time to live in pure joy—eat some bacon and then some more bacon.  

Okay.. it. Is time to go see. What the fridge has with bacon on it so let’s wrap this up (in bacon) and experience a tasty little limerick.  

Hear that sizzle man senses awaken

Comes a joy that none have mistaken 

Oven baked— campfire fried 

Just can’t be denied

Every day’s better with bacon