*** Don’t forget to check out the BONUS LINK at the end of this “Do-over Post. ****
(This post conjures up this musical connection for me... for you?).
WHO WANTS A DO-OVER?
WELL ..WE MADE IT
`!!! Just like
Bo (or
Beaukx—never play the French version of hangman or scrabble) and Luke
Duke we have jumped our temporal version of the General Lee over the creek even though the bridge is definitely out and left 2020 in the dust landing in2021. Maybe we should just roll on and let the past be, however, it’s hard not to take a look back to confirm the Rosco-like 2020 isn’t still on our tail.... so... in order that we honor this possibility I’ve decided to look into the rear view mirror at a few posts—about one per month... dust them off—edit —and enhance them a bit to see if we can’t squeeze some lemonade our of the lemons that last year provided in great numbers. This is the first of these entries. ...and welcome to a new year’s do over
Last year...
MAKING SURE YOUR. NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS DON’T FALL SHORT IN 2020
We are about 54,000 seconds into the new year...more or less so if you haven’t made any resolutions that’s cool or if you haven’t started executing them that’s cool too. The really nice thing is you haven’t had the chance to sabotage them yet and you still have time to remove many Of the barriers that You may run into. In short, it’s the perfect time to enhance your chances of gaining peace and joy in relation to your New Year’s commitments to make proactive change.
Nobody reading this just dropped onto the planet so let’s start with the assumption that it is a new year, however, we are carrying over some old crap. — — New for 2021–
Holy Moses we will be carrying residue from last year around a long while until we decide to wipe it off our neighbors’ feet or from our own sandals as we leave some very unwelcoming villages.
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The first key to creating the map to proactively engaging in new things is to make yourself a little “working room.”. No I’m not talking about. Cleaning out the basement or garage—all that stuff. There if REALLY. GOOD. Even if you have no idea what you have and why—-oh wait that’s me. I’m talking about making the mental space needed. If you are making a resolution to change something that your past has created—too much weight...not enough sleep...too much debt etc... then you have already set up a barrier to peace and joy by assuming somehow that you have been and are at present a failure in those areas. If you are starting with the idea that you have failed before, you reduce your positive energy around that resolution. So, for example, maybe you want to weigh 20 pounds less. Why? Is this because you don’t want someone else. To think you are too heavy? Is it because you have an idea in your head about what “Normal” people look like? In short, if your resolution is about something from the past it is critical to understand the root origin of that resolution because working on the branches won’t chop down that tree.
— — New for 2021 — — Seeking changes from your past is tricky because we often bring the barriers to change along with the challenges so here’s a possibly helpful mantra to tell yourself and others...
Don’t judge me (or my ideas for change) on my past because. I don’t live there any more.”
You might discover you want to lose weight. Because you want to feel younger. Well spoiler alert you might have the equation backwards. It could be that looking at a bicycle. In the same way. You did at age 10 might get you closer to getting in shape than riding that bike in order to regain the energy of a 10-year-old. You want to be able to dance like you did when you were 20? Then start dancing ... like you were 20. Yes, you may fall short, however, also remember that when you were 20 you had to learn how to dance too. In fact, it might have taken you 20 years to learn how to dance like a 20 year-old and your memory might have fooled you into thinking you used to be better than you actually were. In short, don’t have targets built on memories and especially those you’ve already declared yourself a failure at right now. For me.. I do want to lose. Weight because I want. To live longer. I want to live longer because I have some experiences out there that I still feel like I’d learn from and enjoy. I want to do a better job at respecting this tool called my body as it is what carries a my spirit around. Therefore, I have a choice to make right now. I. Can choose to say to myself, “hey you fat loser you’d better quit eating so much and exercise more”, or I can say, “here are some tools that you have that will help you breathe. Better, smile more, share laughter with others more, and do that for a few more years—why don’t you try a few and see how. That feels?” There is far more peace and joy in the second way of thinking and feeling....this is a new year I’d rather not build it on old feelings of failure.
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So lessons learned in 2020 with regard to losing weight and getting fit—LOL.
Don’t get hit by a car.. Losing muscle weight is a suboptimal approach to shedding pounds in the long run...I’m still looking for new experiences though — —
Second, build a resolution team for each of your resolutions. Find a friend, family member (not always the same thing), writer, poet, singer, etc. or two or three that is into the same. Thing you are walking. Toward and walk along, sing along, play along, read along—you get the picture. People will do this with you, however, you have to let them know you want their help or that you will work on things together . Human beings are great at assuming that everyone thinks like them (oh wait that’s me again) however it just might be from time to time a few people have different ideas than I do and so it wouldn’t hurt to put them in the loop and get their. Thoughts a and help or in the same manner of thought it wouldn’t hurt. Me to help them out either. Two heads are always better than one (unless you only have one hat). As a friend of mine often reminds me.... “no one can do everything...but everyone can do something.”
Remember that life is complicated. That’s the third key to engaging in new experiences a in the new year. Therefore, when you do A and expect B, don’t be extremely shocked if C happens. If C happens work from C and if that means detouring through Q back to B, then enjoy Q while you are passing through.
Thoughts like “when I do “this”—“that” will happen” are tricky because there may be some connection between the two and yet it might Not be that This causes that just because that often follows this. My favorite example of that is the relationship. Between. Marriage and divorce. You see there can be a lot of things that create conditions for divorce, however if you look at the conditions that come before. Divorce, marriage will always show up on the list. Everyone who has ever been divorced has been married...but does marriage lead to divorce or cause it? Before being. Married...you are single so being single leads to married that then leads. To divorce... so what the heck are you supposed to do? The point is...be ready to adapt and adjust your pathways to your wanted experiences. In fact, it might be a wise idea to make some of your resolutions apply to the processes you use to do things and thus. You are recognizing that you can’t control everything and that life gets messy. Or as John said “life is what happens while. You make your plans.”
— — New for 2021– or as another quote informs us—“People plan and God/ the Universe laughs”
Key number Four? Big Shocker—Work in the spirit of peace and joy...Enjoy the idea that you have chosen to try something. New and are willing to experience and experiment. Know that everything you do creates a tool for doing something that will or at least could happen in a later present. Celebrate your work as growth toward many outcomes and be joyful about.that. Have you ever played a video game and at the end when you’ve won the game so to speak the “celebration” sequence was disappointing? Have you ever. Read a book where you were wanting the crime to be solved, however when all the answers were in the last chapter you were disappointed in how things worked out? Well try to avoid that with your resolutions....
Okay let’s sum up this first entry on resolutions for now and. The next post will be the unveiling of my personal resolutions for 2020.
To summarize, even if you are working on things from your past...don’t start from the failure so far launch point. This is sometimes made easier if you look. For the root of this resolution and in some cases you will find you don’t really even need that fruit and so you don’t need to pay attention to that tree.
Next, Each one of you is special, however, one of the things that makes many special is their ability to work with others on common goals and dreams. In order to. Do this it is helpful to form a “resolution team.” It is also important to know that. Your team will not be the same for all your resolutions.
Next recognize that life is not a linear experience and. That relationships between people, places, things, and actions are woven. Together in wonderful and complicated tapestries of experiences. Stay aware of this and relax your estimates of causal control...In short, know that sometimes you’ll row. Sometimes you’ll swim. Sometimes you’ll sail. Heck sometime as you’ll even surf, however these might. Not be in the order you thought they would happen.
Finally... celebrate your work...celebrate and respect your experiments and experiences as you are having them. In that way you might not. Spend as much time. Worrying about the celebration at the end. for, as. We all know, worrying is the worst possible way to use one’s imagination.
Okay welcome to 2020 More tomorrow.
—— Well make that do over. 1... 2021 style—- Here’s our bonus link!!!!
Thanks for starting us off the New Year on the right runway. Loved this one.
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