Ghost stories and moving ahead

 GHOST STORIES...JUST A FEW PEACE AND JOY THOUGHTS

Over the past few days  events and experiences have sparked memories that conjured up some unpleasant visions and emotions. It is very difficult to keep these separate from things actually happening right now at times.  In short, they are sort of working their way into my current narrative  and turning  regular life into “ghost” stories.  IThis doesn’t seem like the time or place to relay a series of these  stories I’m living with in the past few days, however, maybe it is necessary for my admission that what follows is easier said than felt and of course easier dthought about than done.  Having said all that...

There are ghosts  around us. In the memories we think about and in the objects that prompt the memories and then there are shouts that come sneaking  up from the briefest of conversations or the subtlest smells.  In seeking peace and joy it seems to work best if we ask these ghost directly to give up their lessons so that we can be a channel to share them either internally or with the world.  People who write  memoirs seem to have had a conversation or two with their ghosts and  thus shed light on the narrative their ghosts would have them follow and the ways in which they took up the pen and changed  the course of that narrative.  There are countless examples of this, however, Ia recent podcast describing  one such narrative  mentioned an event happening in Rochester, NY that might shine some light on how a person meets with her ghosts and writes  her story (see the link below).  

A second way to wrestle with ghosts is to ask “does this ghost bring feelings of love or fear?”   Memories that bring  fear can be tough to brush aside, yet as Scrooge reminds us these ghosts are  likely  begging us to change, to experiment with something different, to scream for help sometime...

Other shorts are more like spiritual  guides or angels... and while they may bring happy thoughts we must be aware that these ghosts are there to  remind you  of your goodness in times of doubt.  They are. There to remind you of ove and curiousity.  

There  will always be  ghosts and they will always be part of our stories... let us always try to find the lessons they offer and share  the ones that help us focus on the gifts of today and the possibilities of sharing  that instead of  the fear.  

Oh and like  I said before a good example. Of how  some people. Work together to write  a new qghost story can be found by following  the link below...

Next up... Haunted houses?  God's Teardrop: My Journey of Healing from Addiction and Prostitution Book Discussion - MCLS Events & Programs - Monroe County Library System Home

It’s the great potato Charlie brown

 IT’S THE GREAT POTATO CHARLIE BROWN?

Yesterday a post on a social media site that rhymes with space hook  had a comment  about the high price on some smallish straggling pumpkins at a local market.  With the rising popularity of Halloween maybe people are grabbing up these seasonal spheres early?  If you can’t find the type of “Just waiting to be Jack-o-lantern” may we suggest you go old school and turn to the turnip or proceed with a potato?  You see the tradition of carving up innocent garden items started with these victims rather than the big orange gourds.  The Irish started the tradition and only when Americans took up the tradition did pumpkins become the canvas of choice for this chopping of faces into fresh produce.  

If you are a turnip you can probably relax, however potato’s in the US should plan on making a trip to  the table with a detour  through someone who says “do you want fries with that.”  If you are  one of the approximate 1.5 billion pounds of pumpkins grown in the United Sttes you are likely to headed  for  a Halloween  display of some sort.   Now there are some exceptions….Other popular destinations?  Well fairy godmothers have a standing order for carriages and there are multiple  pumpkins grown for contests.  In fact, the new record pumpkin was found in a contest in Italy tipping the scales…dare we say “squashing” the scales at 2,702 pounds! Now that’s a great pumpkin Charlie Brown.  

So what’s the “peace and joy” angle?  

You see Americans switched to pumpkins because tha’s a food that not aloof people liked and it didn’t;t store as well as potato’s.  People decided to use what was. Available rather than making a limited resource costly and something people might fight over or thatwealthy  people might waste.  Maybe when seeking. Peace. And joy we can turn  to the experiences that are available rather than expecting some upcoming trip or gift we are going. To get as a. Source. Of peace. And. Joy?  Maybe our present moments can be carved up into little moments of satisfaction,gratification,and smiles.  Maybe our daily gifts can be used like a small candle  to light the way of others seeking  the fun sized blessings that days can hold?  Well…that’s  about it for today…It’s time to cut out some triangle eyes and figure out what kind of recipe  once uses to make a pie with a 2,701 pound loser?

It’s no trick the size of the treat doe matter

 WHEN IT COMES TO TRICK OR TREAT AND SEEKING PEACE AND JOY SIZE MATTERS....WELL SORT OF...

So a major retailer in our area has been running ads for Hallloween treats and other spoooky stuff.  They said they had (leaving out brand names) candies in king size, full size, snack size, and fun size.  I suspect it’s easy to understand “king” size as, of course this was determined  by decree of King John  right there in the fine print of the Magna Carta  in 1215 and revised by several King Olaf declarations in Sweeden... so if we were to  follow  the logic here why aren’t the other sizes labeled like  mattresses making candy king size, queen size, full size, twin, and perhaps infant size?  So king size and “full size make some sense...but we have full size cars and then we have compact and subcompact so why don’t we have compact Snickers and subcompact Almond Joy?  We all know what snack size is... it’s the size that we eat  three of when we really need a snack.   Surely one person’s snack is another person’s full size and only a nibble-like fun size for someone else and for that odd ant still surviving  these days that snack is mother of a king sized banquets!  

Now let’s look at “fun” size.  So employers expect most workers to do king sized work for fun size wages.  Dentists generally collect  full size or king sized money for fun sized hole in our teeth and many politicians  make super king-sized promises and generally  deliver some crumbled. Up melted version of a fun-sized result that you have to scrape off the dash of your car because  it got lost under the handful of campaign mail they send out.  

Now let’s flip the script....

A lot of people preach seeking happiness and peace  as if  it is a King-Sized  destination.  It seems however, that seeking and experiencing peace and joy rarely comes in  the super deluxe expected ways assumed by most self-help and success coaches.  Maybe  we need to savor  the fun-sized experiences and experiments in life... really being aware that the moments are  limited and temporary and yet the meanings can linger.  Maybe if we buy into the fact that there will be enough fun-sized experience to share with everyone we will reach out and share our awareness  in the moment rather than  rushing to the next house where we believe king-sized peace. And joy are going to be dropped into our plastic pumpkin. Or pillow case.   You know life happens in fun-sized moments...so share and enjoy.

Do you believe in magic it’s that season

 IS IT MAGIC?

Halloween  “season” —and it seems it has grown into a season these days— has set upon us like a mist upon  the graveyard.  So…from today until then the blog will borrow spooky and mysterious  themes.  So when we think of witches, warlocks, and wizards we ponder the power of magic both real and imagined—or maybe it’s all imagined until we grant it  our special ability  to take an idea and create it’s reality?  Anyway we’re going to get our bip-a dee bop-a dee  on and do some peace and joy.

M….

Is for meaning….

Seeking Peace and Joy is linked to the process of binging meaning to experiences.  Things happen both intentional and accidental, organized and random seemingly epic and mundane.  We try to assign a cognitive and emotional definition to these experiences and some sort of spiritual interpretation to wrap this  all up in.  So meaning is at its core a dynamic process at as we create it.  Strangely after a meaning is created initially. We  rarely re-create it in the face of learning and future  experiences.  Once an experience has a meaning in a narrative we often call it a fact and maybe rob it of its beauty and power.  We take most the magic out of it?

A….

Is forAwareness

Seeking peace and joy  incorporates facing barriers of the mind.  Unfortunately, all of us wrap our lives in thoughts and meanings based upon what once was,what might be,and the tangled web of coulda woulda.  These things block the beauty  of what is and what can be when focused upon the here and now.  Using “magic” often relies upon directing the flow of things or becoming part of that flow.  If we are not aware we separate out selves and others from the magical power of the spirit, the flow, the force.  Become aware of the here and now  and the magic can flow from our fingertips.  Breathe and let the magic inspire us.

G…

Is for Generosity 

We We are not talking about giving out the big candy bars—everybody knows who gives out the big candy bars at Halloween—always have and always will.   No.. we are talking about the magic of sharing feelings and observations.  We are talking about having the courage to say “this is why I say and do what I do…”. This is about being generous enough with your time to listen as other share thoughts and feelings about their experiences.  Generosity. If not about “stuff”. There is. And always has been enough stuff to go around it’s about helping each other explore without fear to discover  a purpose for existing and then pursuing that.  

I ….

I is for Ideas

Seeking peace and joy is definitely  an “idea thug.  It’s gathering ideas, forming, ideas, sharing  ideas, changing ideas,  and letting some ideas go.  Magic happens when we take a dip in the caldron  of ideas knowing that in order to to come out with best ideas so very often  is linked with having. And considering  many ideas.  The worst idea ever is often the only  idea we have the courage to consider.    That is… when. We only consider one possibility it can only be the best and worst idea we have had…. Seeeking peace. And joy becomes magic when our odds are better than 50/50.  The power of our magic grows as we harness the  the energy of ideas.

C…

C is for Connection 

There is a sign  seen from time to time that says “ a person wrapped  up n themselves is a small package.”  Well …. Magic  (and seeking peace and joy) is not something that happens in a vacuum.  It is a connection between. People, between nature and people, and between  the greater spirit and people.  If you want magic and signs of peace and joy look for and build connections.  

Okay…it’s a couple weeks until the witching hour so this is enough enchanted dust for one day abracadabra amen

FIVE THINGS THE FATHER OF THE BRIDE NEEDS TO KNOW and other words of wisdom Part 2

 FIVE THIBGS THEFATHER OF THE BRIDE NEEDS TO KNOW—and some other words of caution or wisdom

The  first two  things to know  were…. 

1. Chill while you may be an uptight dad who likes to plan stuff—wedding planning is a specialty  held by many and that many is not you.  In addition, almost every outrageous wedding extravagance  from 12 million dollar dresses to 300 pound  cakes has already been taken so given that each couple usually wants an individualized unique event… you are  probably safe or safe enough.
2. Every wedding includes some mistakes or little glitches so your daughter’s wedding will have some and you have know constitutional  right or duty to point them out and determine blame.  
3. This event —is not about you… Yes you  will get dressed up and be in pictures, however, it is your duty to follow whatever ideas your Bride and Groom declare as sacred on that day.  If they say wear matching socks, brush both of your teeth, leave your pet coon in the double wide…etc… then smile and and make it so.  Even if it is an outdoor wedding. And it is raining the Bride’s train is not to be used for a slip and slide.  Your daughter may be your universe but you are not at the center of it she is.

4. There will be a father and daughter dance…No twerking in fact make sure  you and your daughter have chosen it jointly.  Don’t demand  a Congo line  the limbo, the Chicken dance or any of those dances  that are really disguised exercise routines Ike the Cha Cha or  Casper slide… Everybody can clap their hands  later in the reception…but not during this precious duet…. And no pole dancing.  During the dance there. Are a few things you should say.  “You look great…the ceremony was perfect and wow how did you get so grown up are acceptable.  You should avoid  saying “hey I think you  have a little  cake right there on your cheek or Hey your new hubby does have a nice butt.’  

Tip  number Five

You will be asked to give a toast.  Now if you  are good at dad jokes you can pull out one but only one. Do not make fun of anyone either at the rehearsal dinner or the wedding  reception with  your words.  There are a lot of good toasts  on the web but be careful.  Avoid Andrew Dice clay.com or Rodney  Dangerfield’s love potions.  Pledge your support for the marriage and try to get the crowd engaged and remind them that  the new couple  needs  support or that you will support them all along the way.  Keep your toast short—after all it didn’t take. That long for you to conceive your children now did it.  

Now just some odds and ends…

If it’s a Catholic Wedding and you are hungry. Or thirsty… do not take a handful of hosts or grab the challahs  and slam it back.  When the  minister or officiant  says. Who gives this bride or asks if anyone would speak  up to why these folks shouldn’t be united don’t smart off.  Don’t ask  to see the groom’s credit score  or a recent check stub.  Make sure somebody has the rings… Onion rings are. Not an acceptable alternative.  You can  have a release  of doves at the wedding but don’t substitute pheasant and have  the men  folk see if they can bag their  limit.  If you are not married and there is a “guarded  belt toss… “. Don’t suggest a undergarment for hole  game instead.  

Finally Dad… it’s okay if you cry… these are tears of joy because in spite of your parenting your daughter  made it to a cool point in life.  Which brings us full circle … go back to the top and  look at tip one  approach today with gratitude and  if it works for the wedding day try it every other day too…. 

Congrats  Caleb and Amanda 

Wedding advice five things every father of the bride should consider and some just think about

 THE FIVE MOST IMPORTANT  THINGS FATHERS OF THE BRIDE NEED TO CONSIDER….and some other information designed to put you at ease that crosssed my mind…

Right away I’m going to abandon a third person  pint of view given the fact that my daughter got married  this past Saturday and this two-part entry  is of course influenced by recent personal events and observations.  So my stream of consciousness  has very recently bubbled over the rocks of reality so to speak.  Having said this  here we go.  

The Top Five  Things To think About

The top five things for the Father of the Bride to ponder are not arranged in order of importance as the wedding experience mandates that these knowable pieces of wisdom  rise and fall in importance  depending on what’s happening.  

These are simply Five Keys to  Being the Best Father of The Bride at the Wedding

1. Enter The Wedding Event With Gratitude

First, there are all kinds of approaches to the wedding event, thousands of wedding books, wedding planners with years of experience lurk around almost every  corner, and the internet.  Couple this with the fact that your primary function  is to walk a person  down the aisle in a straight  line so that there will be no one complaining that “dear why can’t you just stop and ask someone for directions?”. The only real threat to your manhood is that some other person  is now going to be  providing love and shelter  as the primary source—officially even.   However, why gratitude?  Well unless the wedding planner. Or your wife and daughter use the Guinness book. Of World  Records  to plan you won’t really be expected to keep up with the “jones’ wedding”  After all you won’t be expected to pay  just north of 44 million dollars  in order to have the most expensive  wedding ever.  You won’t be pulling the gold fillings from your teeth to pay for a 12.2 million dollar wedding dress.  While the wedding will probably require more than a box of ding dongs or cupcakes and a fist full of twinkies the likelihood that someone will wheel in a 300 pound, eight foot tall sugar super structure is pretty low.  The reality. Is that most weddings borrow some ideas from other  weddings, however, there seems to be  a calling to make one’s wedding a unique  historic event.   

This leads to the second thing to remember and something to be thankful for…

2.Each wedding event has something  go differently from what was planned or imagined.

Perfection is never possible  when it comes to weddings  so if you can deal with the nagging control you have, then you can always  claim”this went great… even a little better than you expected.”  You also don’t have to look around to assign blame when something goes  wrong because it’s not your self-appointed  duty  to boss people around and get everything “just right.”   Now if you trip…or worse trip your  daughter going down the aisle, stop to check the football scores on your phone, or insist on wearing your Bud-Light  bandana  instead of a tie…you are going to get a few frowns.  If you race up the aisle  to ask the mother of the groom for her phone number or do the same to one or more of the bride’s maids… that’s over the  line…Even if you  spit out your Skoal on the waiting groom’s shoes…you may lose some cred, however please remember  that things will go wrong and the wedding  is probably still going to be a wonderful expression of love.

3. This is not your show.  

This is the event  for the groom and more so the BRIDE —

Sure you bought a new suit and put on your Sunday underwear, yet you will follow the seating chart, you will walk at the speed you are told, you will smile  for ALL the pictures even if you would applaud aerial  photography with a name plate on everyone’s head as an acceptable  alternative to the traditional wedding  photo poses.  If the Bride says you are having raspberry  wine coolers at the reception then forget  about the 28 keg “Hell’s Angels” shotgun wedding and rally bundle from Big Earl’s  Booze-o-Rama.  If the Bride says you are eating a lime  green tux with a checker board  pattern, you just ask how many checks per inch and whether that glows in the dark?  

Now there’s more to be said about this point in part two and beyond… so let’s give ourselves the time to reflect on  this half and come back tomorrow.  Until then find out who has the rings, what the preacher  is going to say…and words of wisdom  the father of the Bride might  offer the groom

Is it the same old story? No

 WRITE YOUR OWN STORY?

Well…. Over the last three entries we’ve looked at people and their experiences as being a function of “types or traits,” “machine-like cause and effect actions,” and growth (much like a seed that gets  nurtured and produces fruit.  We.alll have tendencies  to look at each other. In these ways from time to time and most the time it seems. Our culture and varying environments adopt  one of these in a  fairly enthusiastic manner.  Eachof these has some utility and some notable drawbacks in a changing dynamic world and human existence.  More about this shortly…however …let’s throw in one more meta perspective on humans and our experience of seeking peace and joy before  a completely inadequate conclusive summary.  

One of the largest sections in the literary  collections of some libraries and a dominant features of Wikipedia  and other encyclopedia-type references is the biography/autobiography/memoir sections.  In short we seem to be fascinated by the story of our lives.  We recount experiences in narrative  forms and when we try to make sense of a sequence of sensorial happenings—we turn to the story as the explanatory  frame.  For example our most common family story is… 

Boy meets girl Girl lowers herself to  accept a flawed mate (just kidding)  Boy and Girl fall in love and marry….. Boy and girl have  a physical relationship that creates children— Parents teach children to work hard, treat each other okay and use a spoon.  Children become adolescents and teens.  Teens eat everything  and stop listening as they attempt to teach their parents how to use current technology and well through some miracle the boy meets girl story story repeats itself.  Welll perhaps that story is breaking down a bit these  days and yet is a story our culture  promotes and subtly  or not so subtly  reinforces.  When asked to “tell us about”  someone’s life” we often use the narrative  as the organizing  format going from where someone. Was born  -the geographic context to family relationships- the social/genetic  context, the careers or vocational purpose context  and then we weave in the “Path or pattern  which can be a straight line or  it can be an overcoming  story of a story that has a generally  advancing and upward  progression or a downwards spiral.  Did you ever notice that we talk about a person spiraling out of control or in a downward spiral and yet we don’t talk  about folks that seek peace and joy , experimenting  and starting  a fresh and eventually finding some integrated value/behavior patterns as  being in an upward spiral?  

Anyway one of the most powerful aspects of using the narrative  or story way of understanding people and their experiences is that we can picture each of us as being the writer of our own stories and the “external” aspects  of life as being the contexts, the scenery, the other characters, and the plots they/we live through.  While we are all actors in each other’s Oscar winning lives only the individual gets to decide how the story goes or what the experiences mean and in seeking peace and joy that means each of us gets a lot of choices in turning horrible  instances into turning points in the epic growth  story we would rather  have.   In short in a story we can write that we got up and moved forward to a new town, a new scene, a new act in our multi-act play… In fact justloooking at experiences as a multi-facet deal can serve to make most of life  gifts that we hold temporarily in the moment.  

If we look at each other. As the writier’s of our stories we can become  a variety of characters in each other’s lives and each of us as authors  can bend the rules  of creativity in such a way that  we move  beyond the rigidity  of types, break the limits of If A happens then B will happpen, wwe can make oranges come from apple seeds, and it really only has to fit in our narrative to make sense.  

Of course this way of looking at folks has its problems.  As noted earlier we often have cultural stories that  just don’t fit what individuals authors would like to write.  For example, many people with disabilities are taught the “overcoming” their disabilities story and to take credit for doing ordinary things….which is okay except for that narrative also comes with the “bonus’ of being seen  as a tragic figure. To be pities and devalued in other ways.  In fact some folks with disabilities refer to this as “inspiration porn.”  

Well now that we’ve explored each of these ways of thinking about tend feeling. Theour experiences be those of others where do we stand?

I don’t know….

EXCEPT—

Imagine  if you are trying to help someone else reframe an experience or help yourself  align your next choice with a value you hold.  Empathy can  and self understanding  can be big weapons in that  battle and instead of having only. One lens to look through or only one lens to offer someone else you now have a pocketful.  It might not matter which one you choose to begin with just like when you go to get glasses….. you can adjust and say “is this better or worse?”  The point is not using the “right” idea…it is sharing enough ideas to have an experiences to be shared and lived  by more than  one person and more than once.  

Epilogue 

Someone asked me  which of these models I agree with the most?  Well they all work in some ways at some times however I’d say I want to be the writer of my growth story and that means those two models. Feel the most like who I am learning to become…Yet  if you want to connect with me through “type” frames or doing this leads to that thinking… I’m in that’s why a builder has more than a hammer.  

I have a daughter getting married. This weekend so upset alert  the next post might be something about  marriage and weddings?  

Make like a tree?

 AND AS WE SEW SO SHALL WE REAP? HOPING FOR LOW HANGING FRUIT?

So in the previous two entries we’ve looked at seeking peace and joy when we use “type” and ‘cuss and effect”  notions.  Each of these  models has some utility and limitations.  If these were the only two choices barriers to experimenting   With your spirit would be  restricted and the meaning you bring to the actions of others and your relationships with others  would be constricted.  So…. Let’s add some more possibilities to the arena of awareness.  

Do we “raise” children (assuming we don’t plant them too deep)?  Do we talk about development and growth?  Do we characterize  some folks as being  a real peach or a bad apple…or even the top banana?    Okay… we’re not restricting people to being fruits, yet we can think of people as life that grows from a seed, is nurtured and then blooms or ripens…. You know efforts come to fruition and people  enjoy the fruits of their labor.  Well…. Let’s look at the peace and joy implications.

If we see people as growing organisms then seeking peace and joy might become seeking  the things that make us grow stronger and live longer.  That’s why we accept a lot of fertilizer in life I suppose…. Seriously do you provide others the materials it takes for them to seek peace and joy either  with or without you.  Do you serve as a bee who collects. And shares the necessary  nectar and pollen  for all types of fellow beings to move forward?  If we see ourselves and others as growing. Things we re more likely to expect change over the course of a lifetime….yet we often expect that change to yield  a certain type of fruit after a certain number of steps.  Doesn’t that incorporate the “type” and the “machine”  notions a bit?  If growth is an expected pattern of change…. Then our tendency is probably  to establish “benchmarks” or those little lines your parents put on the door jam to mark growth…and yes these become what  is called “normal”. These  things get labeled as not only  normal they are called.average, typical, standard, ordinary, and eventually “recommended.”  A whole lot of folks feel pretty comfortable with a growth model that puts them  squarely in the mid-range.  Some shoot for better than average of course.  If we are not “normal” we often compare ourselves to what we think is normal and  make judgements  based upon that.  Well there is thins statistical  term called “standard deviation.”  This term stands for  an expected difference from the exact norm or average.  It’s the ultimate control device. S it defines  normal and then defines deviation.  Isn’t deviation supposed to be change?  Well it’s not… it’s just another defined space that assumes we have adopted  the bell curve.  It’s just another “standard measure.”  It’s an oxymoron we may as well call a standard deviation a standard variation  because it’s not really deviant…. 

Well getting out of the woods a bit for now…. 

We can look at people as  entities  that grow and look at our roles as expecting ourselves to grow and perhaps as the agents who help others grow.  The part to be aware of here is that we always expect an apple tree to produce apples… we rarely think of the trees. As a feeder for deer which we might use for food.   We wouldn’t  talk about planting a deer jerky  tree…right?  Oh well… if thinking of people and their actions. As types or like ringing bells that bring dogs runnning for food, we can give growth models a whirl.  Now we have at least three ways to bend  difficult  meanings and understanding.  Is there more than three ways to consider the same actions by the same person when they are seeking peace and joy…. Well yes… and so the next post will shine a light. On that.  

A new perspective on what turns your crank

 MACHINE HEAD==IT’S MORE THAN A ROCK SONG

The previous entry featured “typing—that is our tendency to understand  a lot of the world by putting supposedly square pegs and people into square holes (have you ever seen a cubicle?).  Of course, we like to hang out with some folks who understand us and it is pretty reasonable to connect with folks who have similar values because you don’t want to spend your life arguing for very little reason….and if you do become a US Senator or a slave to social media sites…. Anyway that entry was about “types” and the primary drawback is that a person has a lot of traits or characteristics  so shoving them into a limited box means their experiences are bound to leak  out of the box (and you don’t want leaking outside the box when you are supposed to be thinking there.   

Well this post says here’s a different way. Of loooking at human and the things they do.  Oh and it is pretty popular these days too. Let’s go there now.

So… if your car breaks down or your toilet  overflows you can be in deep sh** in a hurry and these things get fixed because the person who knows how to do that  understands that  object to be fixed is a “machine”. Since it’s a machine you can figure out each part and what it does and then replace or change—somehow manipulate  one variable and make the result you want happen.  Lest we don’t believe this happens with people …some experiences can be offered here.  In recent years “politicians” have done their best to manipulate fear so that they could get people to exhibit  specific behaviors in voting, in health care, in the treatment of their fellow human beings.  Psychology  has turned to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques  to direct folks. To manipulate the original meanings they assign to experiences so that  it changes the action outcome.  This is the same as depositing a new gear into the thought/emotion emotion machine.  One might think of meditation as stopping the machine altogether for long enough  to smell the flowers that are getting choked out by the exhaust  spewed forth  by the money machine.  

The point here is that  there is a lot of “If I can get people to do A and b they will do C because that’s how the human machine works.  

So in seeking race and joy sometimes folks just keep changing one  part of their life to see if peace and joy or financial riches or security  becomes the outcome… Now does seeking probably. Require. Change and experimenting?  Probably… yet maybe the flags come up when we assume  causation vs. correlation becaus e that gives us control over the machine.  We want to push the handle and hear the flushing sound.  We want to put a handful of quarters. In and see the laundry tumble… Does it work that way for everyone in all situations…. Hmmmm?  

All we are asking here is …. Can we take a second to pull our internal thoughts  and build some different life experience meanings…. Maybe life isn’t a grandfather clock so much as it is human (sp) Chenga?

So here’s where we stand at the end of this post…. 

You can think of people as “types” and you can think. Of us as robots… Doing so has some utility… yet one might  ask “aren’t there other ways of looking at the world/“. Well of course… and the next post will sure  shine some light on that, water that,  and see what happens…. 

Just not my type

 TYPECASTIG SO TO SPEAK

So you get the courage or have the good fortune to be in a new town and you are hungry .  You ask your phone to find “food  near you.”  Then  you see a sign on a fairly modern looking brick and glass building on a entry road to your right.  The name  on the sign is Tom’s Restaurant.  What question comes to mind besides who the heck is Tom?  A real good guess is  “what TYPE of food do they serve?”  It doesn’t probably  matter if you like all kinds of foods or if you  don’t have a burning preference  right then you are still going to wonder… however  let’s stop a second.  What makes dining out  a memorable experience or an enjoyable  experience?  How about the kindness and attention. Demonstrated by the  staff?   Oh and what about the overall cleanliness?  How about the decor  like the pictures of the pickle princess from 1972?  How about the variety of seating options?  All of these. Things impact the experience and yet we as in I go immediately to the type of food in my mind….

It seems these days we have started to  really see people as restaurants, movies, and music asking what type of people you are and then  only alllowing a limited menu (get the restaurant connection?)  to choose from.  We do it with  race, ethnicity, gender, sex, faith, physical and cognitive traits and abilities.  We do it with the location where people live and have lived, how  they say the word dog and the list goes on.  Like Tom’s  it seems in seeking peace and joy we could be selling ourselves short by only connecting  with folks based on the type of food  we assume is on the menu based upon  a label.  You see, forced to “type” myself I might claim to be a moderate extremist fiercely interdependentZen Catholicliberal social  conservative philosopher.

Now there are folks who would promote the notion that they want to hang with people  like themselves…. Well fair enough as long as those folks get to make the decision about who they are like and don’t  get paralyzed by the trap of constant comparisons  that are dead set on exclusion.  

The typing  pendulum has swung pretty far because  we have been selling fear like toilet paper in the pandemic  lately and we see safety in numbers.   IYet, I can’t help but wondder. If there aren’t some other ways  to find our “tribes” that don’t require  typing that seems static and permanent?  The next few blogs  will suggest  some ideas for widening the road. We travel down a bit…. You know  let us consider some other ways in which we can seek peace and joy and understand each other.   

I will offer  one caveat when it comes to “typing” and when it has been helpful….

Around about 1901 Karl Landsteiner figured out that people  have Type  A, B, and C (that became  O)  and some other folks added RH  a little later…yes in typing blood we have been able to save  a lot of folks by making it possible for one  person to help a lot of others… Oh when we use type” to help each other  maybe it’s  a pretty  useful concept?  

And speaking of blood, I’m lucky enough to get some health assistance by having routine. Blood draws and one is coming this morning …. I get to fill up 7 of those little viles and  I’m going for my personal best of  being able to  do it in less than three minutes….  New Olympic sport?  

More  tomorrow think tick tock….

Listen in a hurry

 JUST A SECOND…. 

“Extra Life” a recent book by Steven Johnson illustrates  how world-wide  life expectancy has doubled over the last century.  So … in seeking peace and joy terms it would seem. We ll have at least a moment or two  for taking  a second to respond rather than react.  If we find it difficult  to slow down then  how about we wrap our head around the  concept of  being in a hurry to listen?  If not that, then at least we might unload our verbal cannons until we make certain we aim at the right targets.  These are the thoughts behind the “Eight  Line Rhyme.Time  below.

Be you in a group or here alone

If common sense. Has somewhat flown

This rhyme will toss you all a bone

Say something  that should be widely known

While quick you’re tempted  to share  a groan

Resist. The whine and mute the moan

Remember. Not to hurl a stone 

For it’s glass houses we that you may own

Breathe First