peace and joy you can’t phone it in

PEACE AND JOY—YOU CAN’T PHONE IT IN

Three rings and then “Hello...please listen carefully out options have changed”. Then it was the traditional phone tree press 1 for the things we  want—like for you to pay your bill—press 2 to hear a recording of our location and hours so that we can remind you that we don’t have to explain how to get here or we’re probably not open when you can schedule a time to come in and we don’t want to talk about it—press three to reschedule  your appointment—press 4 to talk with a representative... and so on then press star to repeat  this menu.  So 4 it is and then  “please hold while your call is connected.”  Then a few minutes of commercials and then ‘your call may be recorded for training purposes.”  Can I get a copy of that recording please?  Then  if I’m successful in  doing what I intended  I have a record of it and. Can practice for similar calls in the future.  Maybe next time I’ll speak only in movie quotes or rhymes to increase the chance my call gets used.  Maybe I’ll grab my guitar and play an original so that I might get discovered and make the big time.  well then  another click and I learn the “your call is important to us”.and I will speak with the next available  representative.  Seriously?  How do I know that two other people won’t be picked before me?  After this long maybe I. Don’t want the next available representative, maybe I want the best available representative.  After all, I have waited this  long—I want somebody good.  

That’s call one for the day.  Next, I was very. Relieved that  at least two different people are. Paying very close attention to my car warranty.  When you. Get a chance  you might want to check  yours because apparently lots of car warranties run out without warning and it’s an urgent matter.  Also this may be your last opportunity to lower your  credit card interest rates.  You know, because the companies themselves  can’t lower them all by themselves?  

 ...and you wonder why. Your kids choose to text?  Really?  

So we have rules about public service announcements on the radio and television.  There are a lot of regulations and laws about sales, sales tax, and all other types of commerce—heck there’s even a law that you can’t take. A tag off your mattress.  So given this and the number of complaints I hear about  having “to talk to a machine” why don’t we have some  innovative legislation that impacts our phone experiences.  

for example we could employ a lot of humans if human service agencies had a rule that all callers had to talk with a human within 1 minute of dialing in.  Every commercial. Enterprise that puts you on hold  for  more than a minute needs to switch from  advertising to educational content.  Maybe people. Would then learn basic multiplication facts and  perhaps even get the option of pressing 2 for algebra.  Maybe telemarketing firms. Would have to dedicate. At least 10 percent of their calls to  making calls for the school system informing parents of what their kids  are studying in the next two weeks.  If not that, maybe a recording of classic poetry or literature  could come on and folks could  learn a bit of Shakespeare  or “For Whom  the Bell Tolls?”  I don’t know...I can accept. That my call is important to you if you can accept my time is important to me—just saying!

S

Since Ipay. For my phone minutes and. My life minutes are used when waiting for people who have often created a problem in my day, I want something of value back for that.  Maybe companies that use phone trees  should have to pay a tree tax on every call that lasts more than ten minutes unless the caller waives that charge.  

Okay...thanks for reading my rant—now here’s what is has to do with peace and joy.  I often pick up the phone without taking a breath first.  I expect the first sound  I hear will be a friendly voice  saying “hello, how can I help you?” I expect the people I talk with to know how to solve my problem because they created it—or at least in my opinion they did.  JI expect...I expect...I expect...so when things don’t go as I expect?  Next, I rarely view a successful resolution on a call

As a hopeful human interchange which is exactly what happene3d.  Therefore, I don’t take a minute to celebrate that or to remember the dance that took place in order for for that to work out.  That’s where that recording would come in handy?  I don’t track all the great interactions I have on my phone with friends, family, strangers, and sometimes even  government  employees.  So I discount the  experiences that  might balance out or even overshadow the really annoying ones.  Now here’s an idea that I might  try... I just might keep a list of  people I want to talk with handy so that I can dial them up right after I’ve been on hold or have  been pressing. The keypad.  Wouldn’t it be cool to intentionally  take back the peace and joy your phone could provide?  One might. Not always be successful using that method, yet I think it would be a bit like having a cold beer after doing  a lot of yard work in the hot sun or getting dessertafter eating vegetables?  

To sum this all up.... maybe we could add a little more humanity  back into the phone system and if the phone is a public utility, maybe we could improve the public good it does.  As a user maybe  we could stay in a. More peaceful place if we planned some balancing activiytes around our phone experiences.  I know that recognizing my expectations will help me  for sure and doing some intentional behaviors couldn’t hurt—In short, seeking peace and joy is sometimes a thing to practice and I’m going to try this......I’ll report back.

Until. Then thanks for calling and have a nice day!